momsparky wrote:
I think you've missed my point: there is a big difference between a 13-year-old who is violent, a small child who is violent, and an adult or adult-sized teenager who is violent.
First of all, the younger kids can be handled by their parents for the mere fact that their parents are bigger. Not so likely with a 16 year old. Second, there's a likelihood that the younger children can learn to do better, which is unlikely in the case of an adult schizophrenic (which isn't a developmental or learning issue, it's a medical issue that doesn't go away without medical treatment.) There is a difference between a medical issue (someone who is violent because they are sick) and a developmental issue (someone who is acting like a much younger child until they mature, which in some cases means they are violent.)
We also don't expect people with developmental delays who are violent to "live out in the real world," so your therapist is right in that way - but it's a valid option for them to stay at home in the care of their family if the family so chooses, even if they are violent. It is up to the family - and if the family believes they can help the child learn not to be violent better than a hospital, it's a valid choice. In that case, the child (or adult) would lose the option of being independent and unsupervised, right? That would be the case if they were five, 13, 16 or 75 - independence is only offered to people who can be responsible for their actions. There are more options for someone who can't be independent for whatever reason than hospitalization.
The reason I'm responding to you is that I'm concerned you are taking a very black-and-white approach to an issue that has many, many levels of grey. I know you have kids that are headed into toddlerhood, and want to have this discussion in case you think these rules would apply to them.
I would also caution you about how meltdowns look - Callista's meltdowns may not be like other people's meltdowns. My son's involve hyperfocus, so he had behaviors that seemed purposeful, but in retrospect it seems like the only part of his brain that worked during a meltdown was the part trying to solve the problem with violence.
Again, we are past this - so I do have one concrete example of a situation where we managed violent behavior at home until it successfully went away. I'm just saying that it happens.
Newsflash, it turned out that girl didn't have autism and she actually had BPD. How do I know, the mother had came back here and said she had realized her daughter was manipulating her so she found another way to stop the abuse and it was far different than what my mother did with me. Then I saw the mother posting on the psych forums under the same username and talked about her BPD daughter there and the mother also has BPD. I did notice the girl had moved onto being suicidal and doing self harm from doing abuse to her twin sister and to her mother as I've noticed here when she did come back to ask for help with her suicidal and self harm daughter and then a user here brought up BPD.
Damn, I was so right about that child but didn't know it was BPD.
It's probably possible she still has autism because she has ASD symptoms (taking things literal, difficulty with picking up on sarcasm) but it was BPD the mom had been dealing with the whole time than just autism.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
27 Jun 2014, 3:10 pm
