Eureka13 wrote:
I'm a somewhat-past-middle-aged, middle-class female. Strangely, virtually all of my workplace conflicts have been with middle-aged, middle-class females.
I don't disagree with what tarantella is saying about the perspective of many MA/MC females (being one myself), but I do think there's also a "queen bee" thing going on in some (not all) cases. Most of my conflicts have been with those in middle management/administrative type positions (whereas I am in a "professional" position), in other words, they are slightly lower on the totem pole than me, and they've got their ways and their set routines that are tried and true. They "rule" the professional men in the org and get pissy when I don't play the same suck-up game that the men do. I see it as a variation on the "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" meme.
It's not fun when they do that, but I get why they do. The professionals tend to think that because they're smart, they're smart about everything and they know how things should work and why they should be able to just ram things through, jump procedures, off-road, etc. And they figure the admin ladies are morons (which is why they're admin ladies and not professionals like themselves) who are just in the way. Until the admin ladies scare the crap out of them and make them settle down.
What they don't see (until the admin ladies scare sense into them) is the administrative/rules ecosystem those ladies live in, and how working within that ecosystem is what lets them keep the whole operation running smoothly. It's a big system of favors and understanding everyone's rules so they don't go crashing into each other, or turn up begging for favors that are a pain or hard to do. And generally those ladies are pretty sharp about keeping those rules straight.
I've learned to value those ladies highly, because I suck completely at administration, and if things were left up to me they'd be a...well, a nothing, there'd be a shambles and me wandering on to another project. I just do whatever they tell me to do and am totally happy to be the moron and let them spell things out.