Asperger and Genetics, Or: Will My Kids Have It?

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Charloz
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04 Sep 2014, 10:52 am

trollcatman wrote:
^^^ Could be two children from the sperm bank and one child the natural way?


Two with the sperm bank, a third with a woman I met online who wanted to have a child as a single mother. I provided in that need. Two plus one makes three. But I did not want to get so in-detail about it.

Anyway, there's more on the way via the sperm bank, and I will make a few more the natural way as well. NT eugenics can't stop me. And yes it is immoral, probably. But not any more immoral then denying my genes as if they are somehow "faulty". Because that is eugenics and I'm having none of that Nazi stuff. :roll:



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04 Sep 2014, 11:01 am

Charloz wrote:
trollcatman wrote:
^^^ Could be two children from the sperm bank and one child the natural way?


Two with the sperm bank, a third with a woman I met online who wanted to have a child as a single mother. I provided in that need. Two plus one makes three. But I did not want to get so in-detail about it.

Anyway, there's more on the way via the sperm bank, and I will make a few more the natural way as well. NT eugenics can't stop me. And yes it is immoral, probably. But not any more immoral then denying my genes as if they are somehow "faulty". Because that is eugenics and I'm having none of that Nazi stuff. :roll:


Most reasonable post you've made.

Thank you for recognizing that it's immoral.

It's a per peeve of mine when some one wants to split hairs and attempt to justify one immoral action with another. That said I think sperm banks should have non-typical offerings. Give the parents the choice. Some might choose it. Someone WANTED my eggs once because I looked just like the wife (couple was infertile), I have a high IQ, and I'm not NT. That's right, they wanted to take the chance of having an LFA child because their desire for an aspergian was so great.

But lying on something with ramifications this great is not the answer, IMO that takes things a step in the wrong direction.



ASDMommyASDKid
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04 Sep 2014, 11:24 am

I don't really understand the notion that if people don't want a particular sperm donor, that it is some terrible form of discrimination. Sperm donation, historically speaking, is a recent thing and not something that people generally view as a typical thing to want to do. It is not seem like something that one ought to feel entitled to be able to do. This whole thing just seems intentionally coercive. Most people these days do not prioritize quantity of children over the quality of a child's life. Maybe that is lack of ToM b/c I am happy with just one child and would have been fine if I could not have had any.

I am sure no one would want an egg donation from me, and I am not remotely insulted by that thought. I don't look at it as age discrimination, or aspie discrimination or anything like that. It would never occur to me to do that, and so maybe I have no ToM for this impulse.

I also don't understand asking about it to get a handful of validations, when it doesn't matter what people think, as it has already (maybe) been done and there are no plans to stop. Why care what people think at all, then?



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04 Sep 2014, 11:34 am

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I don't really understand the notion that if people don't want a particular sperm donor, that it is some terrible form of discrimination. Sperm donation, historically speaking, is a recent thing and not something that people generally view as a typical thing to want to do. It is not seem like something that one ought to feel entitled to be able to do. This whole thing just seems intentionally coercive. Most people these days do not prioritize quantity of children over the quality of a child's life. Maybe that is lack of ToM b/c I am happy with just one child and would have been fine if I could not have had any.

I am sure no one would want an egg donation from me, and I am not remotely insulted by that thought. I don't look at it as age discrimination, or aspie discrimination or anything like that. It would never occur to me to do that, and so maybe I have no ToM for this impulse.

I also don't understand asking about it to get a handful of validations, when it doesn't matter what people think, as it has already (maybe) been done and there are no plans to stop. Why care what people think at all, then?


it's not really about validation from others, it's simply an opportunity to brag about his "clever" personal campaign to "battle discrimination" and eradicate "nazi eugenicists" by breeding them out of the population with his superior DNA, you know, because he's so good-looking and intelligent and just a superior human being. that's called narcissism (and delusional thinking), and this guy is a prime example of it.

edit* to correct punctuation.



Charloz
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04 Sep 2014, 11:53 am

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I don't really understand the notion that if people don't want a particular sperm donor, that it is some terrible form of discrimination. Sperm donation, historically speaking, is a recent thing and not something that people generally view as a typical thing to want to do. It is not seem like something that one ought to feel entitled to be able to do. This whole thing just seems intentionally coercive. Most people these days do not prioritize quantity of children over the quality of a child's life. Maybe that is lack of ToM b/c I am happy with just one child and would have been fine if I could not have had any.


What is 'ToM', I tried to google it but could not find it. Sorry if it sounds stupid. :(

You are happy with one and would have been happy with none as well. I am not like that: I wish to father many children and so I will do exactly that. Especially now that I am young because the younger the father, the healthier the offspring and the smaller the chance of autism or any other medical or mental issue. I say my timing is perfect.

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I am sure no one would want an egg donation from me, and I am not remotely insulted by that thought. I don't look at it as age discrimination, or aspie discrimination or anything like that. It would never occur to me to do that, and so maybe I have no ToM for this impulse.


It's a lot easier to donate sperm then it is to donate eggs though, which I hear is quite a hassle and a far from idea procedure. Still, out of principle I would find it very insulting to be refused for such a thing. Because it insinuates, no, OUT RIGHT STATES that you are not fit genetically to contribute further to the human genepool. Which is eugenicist.

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I also don't understand asking about it to get a handful of validations, when it doesn't matter what people think, as it has already (maybe) been done and there are no plans to stop. Why care what people think at all, then?


I care because I am not a 'bad person' unlike what some people *cough* starvingautist *cough* insinuate. I wish to be understood for my decision, and somewhat validated. So that I know that I am not the only one thinking this way. So that I know I am not alone in this. Because it's depressing to be the only one... it makes you feel singled out, crazy, insane.



Charloz
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04 Sep 2014, 11:57 am

starvingartist wrote:
it's not really about validation from others, it's simply an opportunity to brag about his "clever" personal campaign to "battle discrimination" and eradicate "nazi eugenicists" by breeding them out of the population with his superior DNA, you know, because he's so good-looking and intelligent and just a superior human being. that's called narcissism (and delusional thinking), and this guy is a prime example of it.


I am not a narcissist. I admit my flaws, freely: I live at home in my early twenties, I am unemployed, I am not a genius and in many aspects average. Would a narcissist admit to that? I don't think so... yes, I may be good looking and healthy, and at least of moderate intelligence. And yes, I see those traits as traits worthy to be passed on. But that does not mean I think of myself as superior above all others, or that I think my donating will somehow "safe humanity". Though I admit I DO believe humanity may benefit from my genes because at least I have one talent that is enduring: I am an original thinker, which is more then I can say for most of NT society. :roll:

Plus, more importantly: I have the balls to break the rules when the rules are being unfair to me, rather then most Asperger's who just 'turn the other cheek' and let it slide off them. I stand up for myself and I am not obsessed with following rules, freely breaking them if necessary. I hope having a good pair of cojones is at least hereditary so my children will also be fearless and stand up for themselves.



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04 Sep 2014, 12:59 pm

Charloz wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
it's not really about validation from others, it's simply an opportunity to brag about his "clever" personal campaign to "battle discrimination" and eradicate "nazi eugenicists" by breeding them out of the population with his superior DNA, you know, because he's so good-looking and intelligent and just a superior human being. that's called narcissism (and delusional thinking), and this guy is a prime example of it.


I am not a narcissist. I admit my flaws, freely: I live at home in my early twenties, I am unemployed, I am not a genius and in many aspects average. Would a narcissist admit to that? I don't think so... yes, I may be good looking and healthy, and at least of moderate intelligence. And yes, I see those traits as traits worthy to be passed on. But that does not mean I think of myself as superior above all others, or that I think my donating will somehow "safe humanity". Though I admit I DO believe humanity may benefit from my genes because at least I have one talent that is enduring: I am an original thinker, which is more then I can say for most of NT society. :roll:

Plus, more importantly: I have the balls to break the rules when the rules are being unfair to me, rather then most Asperger's who just 'turn the other cheek' and let it slide off them. I stand up for myself and I am not obsessed with following rules, freely breaking them if necessary. I hope having a good pair of cojones is at least hereditary so my children will also be fearless and stand up for themselves.


if you're so keen on passing on your autistic genes because you think it's so important that people on the spectrum propagate their genetic material because the NT population "discriminates" against us by not reproducing with us, then why don't you reproduce with someone who is also autistic, to increase the odds that your kids will carry ASD genes? and if you have so much contempt for NTs and their way of life, then why do you try so hard to act like one, to the extent that you "pass for normal" and no one (including your fiancée) knows that you're on the spectrum? why do you emulate what you despise? none of your reasoning in your "plan" is sound--your thinking isn't "original", it is flawed and indicative of pathology. many clinicians know little to nothing about autism, especially HFA, so it's possible you were misdiagnosed. you don't sound autistic to me at all, you sound like someone with antisocial or narcissistic personality disorder.

also, a narcissist might admit anything if he thinks it will advance his agenda. you've stated (mostly in other threads) how little value you have for honesty, and (indirectly) what contempt you have for autistics who do value honesty. i really don't think you are in the right forum at all.



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07 Sep 2014, 7:09 pm

Hey, Total b***h here supports your "right" to reproduce as being equal to anyone else's "right" to reproduce.

Just want to see you do it the "right" way: Find someone who likes you for you, learn to get along with them, and reproduce to the limits of your ability to feed/care for offspring.

The point IS NOT that you do or do not have a "right" to reproduce.

The point is that there is a hell of a lot more to having kids than merely making as many partial copies of your genetic code as humanly possible. That's, like, what doggies do. There's this thing called BEING A PARENT.

Which means teaming up with someone who knowingly accepts the risks inherent in your particular code (and EVERYONE has risks inherent in their code) because they find them "not all that bad" (and, yes dear, however much we may hate it, Asperger's qualifies as "not all that bad") and raising the kids as part of that team.

Even if the two of you find that you cannot, in the long run, bear to live under the same roof, you remain part of Team Raise These Kids.

I don't object to you reproducing.

I object to you knowingly and deliberately dumping your code (which happens to be at least in part my code too) on some unknowing woman, who might or might not accept those risks if she knew about them, and then NOT STICKING AROUND TO HELP CARE FOR THE OFFSPRING.

Underline NOT STICKING AROUND TO HELP CARE FOR THE OFFSPRING. About seven thousand times. At least, speaking as an Asperger former kid who probably would have, to be quite frank, lived even more miserably and either taken her own life in some horrible way or been a complete, utter, and total failure had she not had the care, love, acceptance, and upbringing provided by her Asperger father.


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Bkdad82
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07 Sep 2014, 7:35 pm

Charloz,

I think you should tell your fiance. If its too late than tell the sperm bank. You might not think being an Aspie is a big deal, and you might be a very mild case but you don't know if your kids will be mild, NT, or severe. What you do know is by having it you increase the chance of your fiance raising children with AS, which might be very hard for her and even for you. Please watch a video of severe AS children, it might change your mind. There are many parents on this forum who have raised highly affected children and it is a very difficult road that no one can be prepared for.

Cheers,

Sam



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08 Sep 2014, 4:28 am

I'm almost speechless at the OP.

Firstly please don't try and compare notifying people of a genetic condition and then someone choosing not to take the chance of their child having it with eugenics. It's not even close. Others on this thread have already explained about low functioning ASD and even then it is not that simple. In fact I could easily argue that secretly passing the risk of a genetic condition is more akin to eugenics.

Second, no one has the absolute right to spread their genetic material and to think of it in those terms emphasises that point. When I say no one I mean no one, regardless of their sex, gender, sexuality or medical status. The only absolute rights belong to the prospective child. Parenting a child is far more than genetics and for a start there is responsibility which seems very lacking here. You are proud about having the balls to break the rules, secretly spreading your genes, being good looking etc, but in general I see very little about the child.

Third, your fiancé. Of course it is ultimately your business but a lie of omission is still a lie. If you're relationship can't survive the truth it probably won't survive at all. It certainly won't survive if you father her child and it later emerges you hid the truth from her. You are showing an absolute lack of trust and respect for your partner.

A question for the OP. If you father a severely low functioning ASD child with your fiancé would you stick it out and take a full part in the child's life, regardless of your relationship with you fiancé?

Not wanting to introduce an increased genetic risk of what can be a severe condition to your child is not discrimination. It's the natural thing to do. I'll be honest and say I'm technically NT, although my traits mean the kids are sure I'm close to being ASD, but what I can say is that I'd never take ASD away from my kids. So I'm not against ASD in any way.

If you are genuinely as confident and so self assured as you try to show us then why not be fully open about who you are? Because your actions and what you are saying behind all the brash words makes me feel that in reality you have confidence and esteem issues.

I hope this thread makes you step back and reconsider your stance. Good luck.



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11 Sep 2014, 9:43 am

Statto wrote:
I'm almost speechless at the OP.

Second, no one has the absolute right to spread their genetic material and to think of it in those terms emphasises that point. When I say no one I mean no one, regardless of their sex, gender, sexuality or medical status.


YES, this. Remember that crazy freak misogynyst who shot down those women in California a while ago? He thought he was entitled to sex and "having" women- I didn't read his manifesto that was posted all over online, but from the description, his ideas sound a bit like the OP's (my own commentary, so take it as you will). It all sounds to me like it's in the same vein. Crazy narcissism. :roll:



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11 Sep 2014, 9:50 am

BuyerBeware wrote:
Hey, Total b***h here supports your "right" to reproduce as being equal to anyone else's "right" to reproduce.

Just want to see you do it the "right" way: Find someone who likes you for you, learn to get along with them, and reproduce to the limits of your ability to feed/care for offspring.

The point IS NOT that you do or do not have a "right" to reproduce.

The point is that there is a hell of a lot more to having kids than merely making as many partial copies of your genetic code as humanly possible. That's, like, what doggies do. There's this thing called BEING A PARENT.

Which means teaming up with someone who knowingly accepts the risks inherent in your particular code (and EVERYONE has risks inherent in their code) because they find them "not all that bad" (and, yes dear, however much we may hate it, Asperger's qualifies as "not all that bad") and raising the kids as part of that team.

Even if the two of you find that you cannot, in the long run, bear to live under the same roof, you remain part of Team Raise These Kids.

I don't object to you reproducing.

I object to you knowingly and deliberately dumping your code (which happens to be at least in part my code too) on some unknowing woman, who might or might not accept those risks if she knew about them, and then NOT STICKING AROUND TO HELP CARE FOR THE OFFSPRING.

Underline NOT STICKING AROUND TO HELP CARE FOR THE OFFSPRING. About seven thousand times. At least, speaking as an Asperger former kid who probably would have, to be quite frank, lived even more miserably and either taken her own life in some horrible way or been a complete, utter, and total failure had she not had the care, love, acceptance, and upbringing provided by her Asperger father.


And what if someday your children find you and contact you and tell you of some horrible circumstances they were brought up in because their parents were ill-equipped to deal with a child with an ASD? What if these parents abuse them and hate them for their differences? If I were that child I would hate you for making the whole situation possible by your sheer callousness, short-sightedness and selfishness. :( It's sad to think about.



Last edited by ellemenope on 11 Sep 2014, 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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11 Sep 2014, 9:52 am

Statto wrote:
I'm almost speechless at the OP. ..

A question for the OP. If you father a severely low functioning ASD child with your fiancé would you stick it out and take a full part in the child's life, regardless of your relationship with you fiancé?.


A good question to which of course the answer is no (regardless of how he may answer it on here). He doesn't care about the kids, as he's repeated several times, he is solely concerned about his "right" to continue his genetics (a right that doesn't exist).


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