Do people with Asperger's remain virgins for life?

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kraftiekortie
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29 Mar 2017, 10:25 am

Now......that's a proposition!



Sweetleaf
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29 Mar 2017, 1:28 pm

Thread necromancy I see...seriously who had the time to dig this up from the depths? They could have just posted in one of the countless other more recent threads on virginity.


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ShadowProphet
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29 Mar 2017, 5:58 pm

It's harder to date if you're autistic, somebody like me it has always been hard. Growing up autistic, being shy, not knowing how to talk to girls or get dates. I remember when I was younger back in 8th and 9th grade, I would try to talk to girls and message them on Facebook and they would all call me a creep, stalker, that I was ugly and delete me from Facebook and this had an emotional impact on me because I cared a lot what women thought of me. As a result, I didn't talk to girls throughout all of high school because I couldn't have mentally handled their rejection. I just didn't know any better back then, I had no idea what I was doing wrong and why women were avoiding me, I was just trying to be friendly. I just wish somebody would have sat me down and told me the rules and that rejection is apart of the game because it would have saved me years of isolating myself from women.


Being autistic makes it harder to date, that's definitely true. How can you expect to get dates when you have a hard time even making friends? You don't know the rules, you may come off as weird or special or just some random creep. It doesn't help that you look around you and none of the aspie guys you know are any good with women, there's nobody like me to look up to. Out of the 40+ people I know with autism, very few dated in their teens. We're all in the same boat, nothing ever changes among us.


It doesn't matter who you are, everybody looks for love and intimacy in whatever form that may be, it's just for some of us that it's harder because we wernet born to naturally be able to socialize. But hopefully it will be worth it.



AngelRho
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29 Mar 2017, 6:50 pm

Wow...talking about ancient history!

Yeah, I have a well-rehearsed litany of dating advice that for me is fairly standard. I don't mention that dating is difficult, but I do acknowledge that it is. No advice, not me, not anyone else, is a panacea for all your social/dating woes. What I do is lay down a path that, IF you follow it, will greatly enhance your chances. Mostly it's about building morale and confidence, more than anything. I see that as being the biggest hurdle.

The last poster nailed it. Rejection is all part of it. The way I address it is as long as monogamy is your goal, you will have rejected every woman on the planet except one. Don't feel so bad when it happens to you, because that's one more girl who won't be wasting your time.

I obsessed over this stuff when I was younger, too. It took me FOREVER to finally internalize it, but instinctively I'd been practicing this on girls from a very young age. I ended up in some truly awful situations, but getting it right in the end was worth it. I would strongly suggest NOT going down the path I took. Believe me, there are worse things in dating and relationships than rejection!! !



JaredGTALover
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01 Apr 2017, 12:41 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
It's harder to date if you're autistic, somebody like me it has always been hard. Growing up autistic, being shy, not knowing how to talk to girls or get dates. I remember when I was younger back in 8th and 9th grade, I would try to talk to girls and message them on Facebook and they would all call me a creep, stalker, that I was ugly and delete me from Facebook and this had an emotional impact on me because I cared a lot what women thought of me. As a result, I didn't talk to girls throughout all of high school because I couldn't have mentally handled their rejection. I just didn't know any better back then, I had no idea what I was doing wrong and why women were avoiding me, I was just trying to be friendly. I just wish somebody would have sat me down and told me the rules and that rejection is apart of the game because it would have saved me years of isolating myself from women.


Being autistic makes it harder to date, that's definitely true. How can you expect to get dates when you have a hard time even making friends? You don't know the rules, you may come off as weird or special or just some random creep. It doesn't help that you look around you and none of the aspie guys you know are any good with women, there's nobody like me to look up to. Out of the 40+ people I know with autism, very few dated in their teens. We're all in the same boat, nothing ever changes among us.


It doesn't matter who you are, everybody looks for love and intimacy in whatever form that may be, it's just for some of us that it's harder because we wernet born to naturally be able to socialize. But hopefully it will be worth it.



as an aspie,i cannot imagine that being done to me.what i would not do to avoid them (from inside an old school-bus to a group of girls from outside of their house),(being on a subway train thinking something fighting-game related while wearing a scarf-covered Deadpool winter ski-mask without being seen by a certain woman while on her phone) :ninja: (avoiding 10 to 11 of them in school because of a certain A-Word with the use of WWE Matches that allow weapons and uttering the names of those matches without being seen,or spotted by them) :alien:



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01 Apr 2017, 6:03 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Thread necromancy I see...seriously who had the time to dig this up from the depths?
It was JaredGTALover.


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JaredGTALover
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02 Apr 2017, 1:06 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Thread necromancy I see...seriously who had the time to dig this up from the depths?
It was JaredGTALover.


dig what up from the depths ? :?:



RetroGamer87
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02 Apr 2017, 5:50 am

MSBKyle wrote:
Do People With Asperger's Remain Virgins For Life?
Not me


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02 Apr 2017, 8:32 pm

I never understood why women want the "bad boy" types. Why in the world would a woman want a relationship with someone who is going to treat them like dirt and on a moment's notice leave them for someone else. How does that benefit them? Many of those guys are dangerous and can put them in harm's way.



RetroGamer87
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04 Apr 2017, 8:28 am

saxgeek wrote:
I never understood why women want the "bad boy" types.
They don't.


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JaredGTALover
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04 Apr 2017, 8:37 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
saxgeek wrote:
I never understood why women want the "bad boy" types.
They don't.

the kind of women (chubby) that i want are open to going out with me regardless of my aspergers.



MikkaNathan
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09 Apr 2017, 9:07 am

It depends. See, I have been offered it before but I have honestly been too shy to do it.

So I guess it's best to be in a stable relationship first



supguysfriedchicken
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14 Apr 2017, 4:31 am

A few years ago, I would have said that I have a 95% chance of being a virgin for the rest of my life.

Present day? 99.9% chance of being a virgin for life and never being in a relationship. I'm very unlucky in that area.


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RetroGamer87
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14 Apr 2017, 4:45 am

supguysfriedchicken wrote:
A few years ago, I would have said that I have a 95% chance of being a virgin for the rest of my life.

Present day? 99.9% chance of being a virgin for life and never being in a relationship. I'm very unlucky in that area.

Don't give up dude. A few years ago, I thought the way you do.

Present day? I have a 0% chance of becoming a virgin again.

If a megadork like me can find a girlfriend, you can to.


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nick007
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30 Apr 2017, 1:33 am

I had no interest in that stuff until my 1st girlfriend who was a good friend told me she liked me at 20 & I had a high desire for those things sense except for the sex. Sex is OK but I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum. I've had two relationships sense but I was single during most of that time. I've been living with my current girlfriend for over 4 years now & we do have sex some but not very often. I was a virgin before we moved in together when I was 29.


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danieldoesnotexist
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01 May 2017, 2:16 am

Of course not. We aren't clones of each other who have the exact same experiences and ways of thinking. I threw away the v-card like 8 months ago and I'm 14. Some of us are just better at verbal communication than others.

Best of luck!


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