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redheadinny
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Joined: 15 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
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16 Sep 2014, 2:41 pm

I'm 99% my husband falls in to the spectrum. High functioning, but very affected still. We have three kids, two are mine from my first marriage and are teens and one is a two year old we have together. When we were first together, the kids were 8 and 11 and he seemed to be doing quite well. After the first couple of years I realized that some real issues had been cropping up; many to do with parenting, emotional and social disconnect, needing control... Today my son said he no longer feels step dad shows love or support. I have continually talked to him about backing off kids, letting me do the parenting, attending therapy and groups, trying to at least pretend he understands some emotional needs and connecting more. When he tries, it seems short lived. My teens are not always easy either. They both have some mood disorders and have had some abuse by bio dad(bipolar, aggressive, manipulative). I'm having a hard time meshing all this and I don't know what to do or where to get help. I feel like my kids may need some support groups too.



progaspie
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Joined: 22 Jul 2011
Age: 70
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Location: Australia

16 Sep 2014, 7:59 pm

Feel sorry for the two teens as they're going from a father who is aggressive and manipulative to a step father who is distant. Not sure what the answer is. Since your husband hasn't changed in two years and is unlikely to do so, I would focus on getting more help for your two teens. Are there any counselling services available in your area that could help. I assume you have sat down with the two teens and explained the situation to them. Just because the stepfather is not showing the same set of emotions toward the children that their biological father did, doesn't mean that the stepfather doesn't care for them.