Families with multiple aspies (recipe for disaster?)

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Swiper
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16 Sep 2014, 3:53 pm

I'm a little curious about your experiences of having multiple Aspies in the family. In particular I would like to know how well your Aspies got along with each other. I grew up in a rather dysfunctional family and things were very stressful. I do believe that all the males do have Asperger's (some diagnosed, some highly suspect). We ended up splitting up in three groups and none of the groups particularly care for any of the other groups

Group 1 - Aspie father & NT mother
Group 2 - Oldest Aspie brother (with family)
Group 3 - Youngest Aspie brother (with family), NT sister (with two Aspie boys)

Last family reunion was more than five years ago and I don't expect another one anytime soon.

What's your experience?



Raleigh
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16 Sep 2014, 4:03 pm

Three Aspies in our family + NT daughter's boyfriend. We all get along fine.


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16 Sep 2014, 4:32 pm

We were two Aspies (my dad and me). We did quite well, but we were very similar.

I suspect there were other Aspies on my dad's side but cannot prove it. The only one I'm sure of was a same-age cousin of my father's. They got on smashingly-- once again, they were very similar (tastes, views, lifestyle).

My mom's father was also an Aspie. He and my father had very different tastes, different views, different lifestyle. About the only thing they agreed on was how to plan finances, and it was the only thing they could talk about without getting nasty. Same story with said grandfather and me-- until I was well into my late teens, the only things we could talk about without hurt feelings were trees and history.

I suspect there are A LOT of Aspies on my mom's father's side. I know two cousins roughly my age are diagnosed; one cousin in my mother's age bracket is (I think-- I've met him single-digit times) classically autistic. It is what I can only term a mass mutual dislike: I don't like them, they don't like me, they didn't like Daddy, he didn't like them, they don't like each other, and I can think of a lot of people who don't like them.

How much of that has to do with ASD and how much of it has to do with an abusive childhood and a status-worshipping, judgmental attitude (and how much THAT has to do with ASD, for a recursive consideration), I honestly don't know.


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B19
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16 Sep 2014, 6:29 pm

Five generations in my family. (Maybe it goes back further than that but no way of knowing).

There is an unspoken coalition amongst the asd's in my generation and the two following it. The Nts (which are the minority) seem both sympathetic to yet judgmental of us - they judge us using themselves as the yardstick of "normality". We don't discuss ASD status nor issues with them. Not ever.



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16 Sep 2014, 6:40 pm

no,personaly dont think its a defaultly bad thing having multiple spectrumers in the same building,it depends on the individual and whether theres clashes.
grew up with what we now know is an aspie dad and aspie sister;she was misdiagnosed at nineteen with social anxiety disorder as that particular shrink didnt believe autism existed in girls, and dad was informaly diagnosed by specialists of mine.
sister grew up trying to conform to society and was badly bullied and resented by her because the disabilities,complex needs and severe challenging behavior of mine made her life even more awkward than it was.

she got into pyschology at high school and did an A level and degree in pysch, she said her pysch degree taught her the basics about classic autism [dont think the higher functioning forms were recognised well back then],it was thanks to this she became a best friend and an advocate for self/KoR.

dad...well he was a total prik if am honest until was in twenties and never recognised him as a parent-was beaten by him for every difficulty and behavior whether it was challenging or not,was kept locked away in bedroom most of the time because they coudnt cope and because of his treatment had developed a severe lifelong mental disorder called reactive attachment disorder, now he understands very well and actualy tries to be a dad but have never recognised him as 'dad' apart from when discussing him online.

his aspergers is very visible to people who know what AS is,his major obsession is with the weather,its all he talks about to people.
we clash badly because he wants control over everything,everything has to revolve around his routines and needs so am glad am not living with him but he is nice in small doses.

have got a lot of other autistics in family,including many cousins [one HF classic autistic, one PDDNOS,three aspies] and its highly likely mums sister is aspie as well,have never even met her as she is agoraphobic so doesnt travel down here but she sounds classic aspie.


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