"Sorry, you're not my type"

Post Reply New Topic

This is what my ex said after some 5 years together as she was explaining to me why she is getting together with this new guy she's been talking to for years (again, during our relationship).

That was my first girlfriend, and this was the single most confidence-destroying incident in my life.

8 years later and I still haven't gotten a new girlfriend. I still think about her almost every day. She will talk to me online sometimes but only very brief responses. At this point she's just trying to be "nice".

She's been dating on her end. She's had a slew of different boyfriends over the years. And me.... well... i've been living alone on a meager income not going anywhere or doing anything, waking up depressed as hell every day. I've tried different antidepressants and nothing seems to help.

Occasionally I grow the courage to share my struggles with her... she tells me nobody can help me, I need to help myself. She says that nobody out there has the power to help me, that I have to do it on my own.... she says looking for a girlfriend right now is stupid and i need to keep working on myself... well i've been doing that for 8 years and i'm sick of being alone.

Why am I completely obsessed over this woman? Yes, she was my social life... I loved her family... she was awesome all around when we were together (minus the occasional cheating)

Then I think of some movies i've seen.... Forrest Gump... Dumb and Dumber.

It seems like this hopeless one-sided love is the narrative to every movie with a mentally challenged character...

Is this all I am? Is this all i've been doing? Acting out my disability?... I don't know what to think or feel about this...

Will I ever be able to just stop thinking about her?

Will I ever be able to move on and focus on myself? When I do all I think is dark thoughts

Sometimes you do just really have to pick up your stuff and get moving again. Sitting around the campfire thinking about the past isn't going to accomplish anything at this point. The best thing you can do is put 100 miles between you and this place, figuritivly speaking. In practical terms that means having new experiences that will occupy your mind and drive the old ones out.

Stink books part of Judy moody world
the stink moody books appeal to 3rd graders
they don't use hard words just to use them

The black lagoon adventures
they talk about subjects like camp and schools
Many adults look like monsters but act nice

Badkitty
there are bad kitty picture books but also Graphic novels for kids.
Badkitty for president goes through the election process.

Steely Dan song lyrics have a lot of good observations on woulda-been, coulda-been and never-been romantic relationships, in fact the other day I read that it's been said they've never composed a song about a functional relationship. They are the masters of the witty "who needs you anyway?". One of my all-time favorite lines by them is "you wouldn't know a diamond if you held it in your hand, the things you think are precious I can't understand" and a close second is "and it seems so clear that it's over now - drink your big Black Cow and get out of here"

They really don't use hard words just to use them either