I miss my old self

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Since the hospital I feel like I've been different i've been sick And I don't feel like my old ugly so I feel less than my old bubbly so I now I'm home and hospital and I feel depressed but not really I feel numb I feel Like no words are in me. Like having writers block in my mind. My grandma says it's because I realize that I'm not like autistic kids that I'm not my friends are lower functioning then me and I don't really belong in that program. And that I feel bad for the kids in the autumn class.

But to be honest think she's partially right and it's making me feel like a certain user who I had problems with. I don't know why, I want my innocence back I don't want to give up on other low functioning autistics I want to think that it is beautiful again. I feel Brainwashed. I don't know what to do.

I need to be brought back to my self

I know your grandmother thinks she's helping by saying you're better than a certain group. I think she's wrong. We don't build ourselves up by saying we're better than other people. You know that, she hopefully learns it someday. I think trying to buy into that kind of thinking is making you feel worse. I think you know nobody's better than any other human being. We all deserve love and respect.

I'm really sorry you're feeling bad!!

There's no need to worry about labels and whose what and such. They're your friends. That's what matters.

I hope this soon passes for you, and that much happier days are ahead. Take care. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding meantime. You know what it true in your heart and self. Embrace your truth. Others may misunderstand but that doesn't invalidate what you believe, think, feel or know. Right now you are obviously hurting and it might be good to talk to someone who does understand and doesn't judge or overload you with their opinion. Helplines can really help at these times - I have used them, and if the first person you talk to doesn't get you, ring another one. Keep going until you find that person who does get you. Please don't get too isolated during this unhappy time.