I should be dead.

Post Reply New Topic

The problem that bothered me with society is that the media screws up people. Literally. We ignore important facts.

i.e. Male suicide rates being 4x greater than women, yet the media and society advocates for women's rights (which I say because I'm a male, take what I said for what you will. I don't care). White male suicide rates are even higher. I can't stress that out enough.

Ok. My real mom died at 3. Has anyone had it that bad to emphasize?

Robin Williams death, and some people thinking Jim Carrey is a nutcase for being spiritual. (I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but what if you have other negative people throwing you off balance).

Making friends (I honestly have no people to connect with anymore, as I feel we are getting farther and farther away from human touch due to more technology and longer busy hours).

It seems that the world I want to live in is only a dream, but that's ok. I accept that because I can't change reality. At the same time I'm glad I have AS and didn't own a weapon. I could had done something like another person with A.S. did.

Everything is one step at a time now, and my 20's are the worst adulthood years. Overrated US Mainstream crap that brainwashed society with unrealistic promises. I am so eager to leave the country but I can't because of my AS.

But now, I meditate. When the worst happens, it'll just happen. For example: If I get shot by a shooter for no reason at all, I'm dead. Can't change that can you. I'm just waiting for it to happen, but I know it will happen when I least expect it.

I understand exactly how you feel. I feel pretty much the same way as you do. I feel like I live in a world where I don't belong. I feel like a foreigner. I don't know how to interact with people and I have no goals and no interests. I too have had homicidal thoughts. I don't know what the answer is. I have no idea what I am doing here or what the future holds for me. I have very few friends who I hardly ever see or talk to. I too have missed out on a lot of things growing up. There are times where I wish that I were dead just because I don't want to deal with the BS and challenges of life. Suicide is never the answer. If you are ever thinking of suicide, then get help. Think of how your family and loved ones would feel if you took your own life. That is what I have to tell myself whenever I think about dying.

Patrick64, the horrors that have been visited upon you must make angels send a deluge of tears that even god could not stop!

It seems like all you want from life is a genuine friend

everyone on WP hears your pleas and
some people on WP want to be your friend

your imagination is both incredible and destructive

I only hope that the mass media connection/addiction you have is disconnected real soon!

love you

hope you get back to real life real soon