BuyerBeware wrote:
Sounds like your mom was seriously tripped out on fear of judgment and self-criticism. I used to be like that (minus the beating part-- I never got farther than trashing the kids' asses with my hand multiple times a day over petty s**t).
My FIL was like that too. He had four kids. Only two of them called up often. One wouldn't speak to him at all, two had polite and superficial relationships over the phone, and we were the only ones that ever visited. So, of course, Hubby was the underachiever who was always compared unfavorably to his brother (bought more, better stuff by running up a metric ton of debt) and I was basically the Antichrist.
I hope they're both screaming eternally in the fires of Hell. Yours, not mine (though I have to admit it would please me to see FIL spend some time in Purgatory, and it won't be my prayers that get him out).
Well, like I said in some other threads, Mom's family was quite dysfunctional. Her father, and grandfather, were the town drunks. When he got drunk, which was almost every day, it was pure, unadulterated hell. She got 99% of the physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse. In short, she was an unwanted child. Grandpa never wanted a daughter. In contrast, her brother got away with murder. The only thing grandpa ever wanted were boys, so he could have drinking buddies.
Since grandpa's birthday was Christmas Eve, he'd be doubly drunk and stupid that day. I remember all too well what that holiday was like. One Christmas, I had gotten a board game from him that was developmentally too young for me, or my brothers. While my brothers and I were still too young to care, Mom and Dad were showing their disappointment. Well, grandpa made it known that, since they weren't satisfied, the only thing we would get my brothers and I from now on for Christmas presents were 1 pair of white socks. From then on, his son's children got all the neat toys and money, while my brothers and I only got 1 pair of white socks, and maybe $5.00, if we were luckly.
Things were no better as I got older. I didn't see him at any of my graduations, I never saw him at any concerts where I was a soloist, he didn't even bother showing up for Dad's funeral, or even send any kind of condolences. Mom certainly didn't get anything from his estate: he left it all to his second wife and his son's family. There really wasn't much left, as he died from complications due to Alzheimer's.
If you think he was bad, Dad's side of the family was just as nasty. But that's a different story...
_________________
EQ: 19 AQ: 43 BAPS--Rigid:107 Aloof: 115 Pragmatic: 99 Diagnosis: 10 SQ: 23 Reading Minds Eye: 15
Your Aspie score: 137 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 79 of 200
Never teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
02 Dec 2014, 7:57 am
