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EzraS
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09 Dec 2014, 1:54 pm

Someone here mentioned compulsory masturbation as a stim. I feel like maybe this is a taboo subject, but at the same time I don't think it should be, but not sure if it's okay to talk about it. One of my biggest lack of self awareness problems has been playing with myself around others. I've always been told to take my hands out of my pants when I was younger and sometimes have even exposed myself. Now that I'm in puberty the urge is a lot stronger of course. Sometimes I just don't realize what I'm doing until someone says something to me or I realize I'm being stared at. Has anyone else with autism had difficulty with this when you were a kid? Is it a bad thing? Should I feel ashamed of myself?


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slenkar
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09 Dec 2014, 2:01 pm

Yes it is a bad thing,
I think I have done this in the past,
it could lead to you having a criminal record



EzraS
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09 Dec 2014, 2:28 pm

slenkar wrote:
Yes it is a bad thing,
I think I have done this in the past,
it could lead to you having a criminal record


I haven't exposed myself since I was little. These days it's just me with my hand in my pants or squeezing myself outside of my pants. I'm not actually masturbating, just playing with it in my pants unconsciously. Is it just something kids do and outgrow? You have me really worried about what you said about a criminal record. It's not like I do it on purpose. I feel really ashamed of myself. I probably shouldn't be talking about this.


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r2d2
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09 Dec 2014, 2:39 pm

Well, hmm now to be perfectly honest - I did do that as a kid and was totally shocked when someone pointed out to me in the 7th grade that I did that frequently even when sitting in my classroom. I guess it was kind of like handflapping - I had no idea whatsoever that I even did it. I was so mortified upon learning this - I did largely stop. But, I can recall a few times later that I probably did it and did it in a public place without even realizing it.

No you certainly don't need to feel ashamed of yourself. But considering how strongly this is disapproved of by society - I think one should learn to restrict that to a private place where one can do as they please without any worries. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation especially for a young teenager - but for you own interest - try to restrict it to a private place.

I must admit at my age my libido is so low - playing with myself isn't even fun anymore. :shaking:


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09 Dec 2014, 2:50 pm

There's 2 kinds of stimming... The kind that the people around you don't mind, and the kind that they do. The stimming isn't the issue, the people around you are. If you're going to be around people, then learn to not stim in ways that bother them. Get creative. I carry a ratcheting block (like a pulley that makes clicking noises) in my pocket every day, it's always there, and while people don't understand why I'm "playing with it", it doesn't bother them.

"Shame is what we feel when we are disgraceful to those who care for us."


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I-am-an-Aspie
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09 Dec 2014, 2:54 pm

[edited by moderator]



Last edited by alex on 09 Dec 2014, 3:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.: attack

EzraS
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09 Dec 2014, 2:59 pm

livnah wrote:
There's 2 kinds of stimming... The kind that the people around you don't mind, and the kind that they do. The stimming isn't the issue, the people around you are. If you're going to be around people, then learn to not stim in ways that bother them. Get creative. I carry a ratcheting block (like a pulley that makes clicking noises) in my pocket every day, it's always there, and while people don't understand why I'm "playing with it", it doesn't bother them.

"Shame is what we feel when we are disgraceful to those who care for us."


I do that. I have a leather lanyard clipped to my belt loop that I twist and wrap around my fingers a lot. It helps me tone down on other stimming in school that's a distraction.


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olympiadis
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09 Dec 2014, 3:02 pm

If you were a rapper performing, then you may get fame and fortune.

Offensiveness is one of the parts of memetics that runs the deepest and wields a great amount of power.



SweetTooth
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09 Dec 2014, 3:07 pm

EzraS wrote:
Has anyone else with autism had difficulty with this when you were a kid? Is it a bad thing? Should I feel ashamed of myself?


1: No, I personally haven't. 2: Yes, to some degree. 3: No, do not feel ashamed of yourself.

However, you should talk with someone that you trust in your surroundings, because like some others said, these things can be misinterpreted and lead to trouble. I repeat that you should not feel ashamed of yourself. It is very good that you did decide to talk about it. You are not a pervert! Do not let shame prevent you from seeking assistance, that would be a mistake.



EzraS
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09 Dec 2014, 3:13 pm

I-am-an-Aspie wrote:
Get help urgently. Devote your life to getting this addressed until it's cured ASAP. Otherwise you're going to be branded a pervert in your community.


You see, this is why I was unsure about talking about this here. Don't know if you are trolling or not.

First off I'm just a kid. Second of all I have serious autism and am classified as disabled and am under constant supervision. I'm not someone out on his own at a job. I've known some kids with severe autism to smear poop on walls. I don't think people with mild autism and have basically ordinary lives know what it's like. People who see me in real life think I'm spastic and retarded. That's the kind of autism I have.

Thanks for the comments about criminal and pervert makes me feel a lot better.

Would a mod please just delete this thread?


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SweetTooth
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09 Dec 2014, 3:17 pm

EzraS, don't panic. You are not going to get a criminal record.

Also read the other posts. Some of them take a different line, which I think makes more sense.



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09 Dec 2014, 3:19 pm

As a girl i have to say i have never had a problem with this particular stim. I don't think you should be ashamed as it's genuinely not something your doing on purpose.
Just try to remember only in private buddy. Only idea i have is tie a bell around your wrist. That way your alerted if your hands to go astray.

Ignore the people trying to scare you



RhodyStruggle
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09 Dec 2014, 3:39 pm

Masturbating is totes normal and healthy for people of all types. Even some asexual people - that is, people who don't experience sexual attraction - masturbate. (Which isn't to say that not-masturbating is unhealthy. The only thing that's unhealthy is coercing people to change something that feels right for them and doesn't hurt anyone else!)

And yeah, I also stim by touching myself in a non-sexual manner. Masturbation is probably not the right word for that. Maybe genital-stimming? Or junk-stimming etc. if you don't want to be clinical about it? I think it'll probably be useful to have a label for this concept which clearly differentiates it from the act of playing with yourself for sexual gratification (which, to be clear, I do that too and it's a significantly different thing).

The important thing is to cultivate awareness of context, where you are and what you're doing and what you're about to do, and "do the math" to figure out if those things "line up" or not. If you're in the privacy of the bathroom or your bedroom (assuming you can get privacy in those places) touching yourself is fine. When you get older, you will likely be able to expand your sphere of privacy. The important thing to keep in mind is that it's only okay to touch yourself if you do have privacy.

The best methods I personally know of for improving your body-awareness (so that you can catch yourself before you start touching yourself in public) are exercise and meditation. Also, if you take any medications, talk with your doctor about this, as some drugs can cause "compulsive masturbation" (it would probably get categorized as that in the side-effect profile even if it were just junk-stimming). In fact it might not be a bad idea to mention it to your doctor (or counselor / therapist / social worker, if you have one and if you're comfortable discussing such things with them) anyway, since it seems to be causing you some anxiety. If nothing else your doctor (or other professional) might be able to suggest some better techniques for managing it.


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RhodyStruggle
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09 Dec 2014, 3:40 pm

EzraS wrote:
Would a mod please just delete this thread?


Don't let the trolls scare you away man. That's how they win.


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EzraS
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09 Dec 2014, 4:43 pm

RhodyStruggle wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Would a mod please just delete this thread?


Don't let the trolls scare you away man. That's how they win.


Okay. I was paranoid posting about this and that pushed me over the edge. Thanks for your caring response to a kid struggling with certain issues.


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