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Edna3362
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12 Dec 2014, 11:44 pm

Family love? Of course.
Friend love? Yes.

Attraction? Never! :twisted:
Romantic love? I don't get it. Maybe never. XD Hell I never fell inlove before. I never had a crush either. All I can give is 'admiring respect like authority/superior', but not exactly like adoration or worship or being something close to a fan girl. :lol:

But a feeling like being pestered and annoyed by boys who wants to date you when you don't want to?? Half the time if I noticed it.


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Dizzee
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13 Dec 2014, 7:29 pm

In my 22 years of live, never.


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Shelldor2015
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13 Dec 2014, 10:06 pm

I was. It was great for about 3 and a half years. He was NT and I wasn't yet diagnosed. We were together for 5 years. We both were at fault for it ending. He got tired of my issues. He did something reprehensible that made me end it. We tried to patch it up, but in the end it was best to leave it ended. We both bitterly hate each other. We make JR Ewing and Cliff Barnes look like friends. I know I will find love again.


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whatamess
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13 Dec 2014, 10:21 pm

Yes. My by my grandfather, my uncle (RIP), a friend of my parents (RIP) and an ex-boyfriend from high school…other than that, I have not felt truly loved by anyone else. I am married and I do not believe what my husband claims is love is true love. Still here because I can't figure out what to do at this point…be alone and not loved or be with someone and not really feel loved either. Sucks.



arnoldmcguire335
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05 Jan 2015, 1:38 am

Never... not even a single girl would love me anyway like how my friend is loved by her BF. I feel cursed... :cry:


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y-pod
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05 Jan 2015, 3:43 am

I've been in 3 serious relationships and I think only the first partner was a romantic person. That's probably why it didn't work. I don't "get" romantic stuff. I'm a very practical person.

I've been loved by many people. I can recognize all sorts of different loves, sometimes even bitter ones. They don't always feel good and can be a heavy burden.


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Evil_Chuck
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05 Jan 2015, 5:00 am

If I have been loved, I have never felt it. I don't think I have ever been in love myself either. I'm not really clear on the difference between that and long-term infatuation.


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y-pod
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05 Jan 2015, 5:53 am

y-pod wrote:
I've been in 3 serious relationships and I think only the first partner was a romantic person. That's probably why it didn't work. I don't "get" romantic stuff. I'm a very practical person.

I've been loved by many people. I can recognize all sorts of different loves, sometimes even bitter ones. They don't always feel good and can be a heavy burden.


I couldn't find the edit button. Just want to say romantic stuff is not for everyone. IMO particularly not suitable for true aspies. :D That level of intensity, attachment and impracticality can be annoying, intimidating or even laughable. When they talk about being together forever and ever, I wanted to remind them if things don't work out, divorce is perfectly fine, make sure there's premarital agreement. They want to be united in souls and be together in next life, too. I tell them there's no soul, and spending one lifetime with them is enough work already, thank you very much. :D They want to love just once and let it burn like fire. I was like are you kidding, life is tough and partners are useful. I'm not going to stay alone and brood if you "burnt up", I'm going back on the market. Honestly I was surprised how long (and how much effort) it took for us to break up.

I guess emotional or intense people are just not for me, but when you remove the emotional part, I don't see how a logical person can really be romantic. A person can feel very loved and special without feeling romantic. For me true love is mutual, built on shared experiences, a deep level of harmony and trust. So this pretty much can't happen unless two people have been together for a year or more and have already worked out their major differences. The chemical rushes might feel good, but it's not true love and won't last. Many people were "in love" with someone who they know nothing about, not even their full names. They're really "in love" with their dreams, hopes and fantasies rather than a real person.

I think my point is romantic love is over-rated and has lead to many impractical matches and mistakes. An aspie isn't really missing anything great if he/she has never been head over heals in love.


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Feyokien
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05 Jan 2015, 7:25 am

I felt something once when I was 17 but it was 4 years after the fact. A girl in 7th grade tried to make a genuine stand for me. She tried to defend me from my tormentors. But I was only a shell shocked victim hiding behind a wall at the time and showed nothing at all. She banged on my wall for about a year and eventually gave up and moved on. When I was 17 I began to actually process things and remembered her kindness, unfortunately much had changed since then and there was nothing to be done. I dunno if I'd call it romantic love, but we had a bond with each other, unfortunately not during the same time period. It became my beacon of hope for a while, now not so much, I have other things to keep me going.



Kiriae
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05 Jan 2015, 8:52 am

Four boys said they love me in my 26 year long life(one at a time of course). I was sort of going out with 3 of them and developed some feelings too. However while I cared for them at the same time I was uneasy.

There was too many expectations I couldn't met. I couldn't believe they actually mean it when they say "I love you" because they didn't know me enough and I couldn't say it back because I was not sure if I love them or not. I also had no idea how to deal with getting gifts, especially if a gift seemed really expensive or tiring. And I couldn't find time to chit-chat with them as often as they wanted because I find chit-chat pointless.

So eventually I broke with each of them. It hurt both me and the boy but I knew it was for the better. I was feeling hurt even during the relationship so the best choice was to cut it and get over it asap. One of the boys couldn't deal with braking for a few months. That was weird. I honestly couldn't understand this one. He was the one who was stalking me since a few years in a video game and when I finally agreed to be his long range relationship girlfriend he started making plans about me moving to his house and getting married to him. Delusional much? We never even actually met in real life! He knew me only from the game and our long, daily chat talks.


But I also felt something like love. I have had crushes a few times but I was never convinced enough to move it any further. Except one time.

Perhaps thats what true love means? No. I don't think so. But it was a strongest one so far. It was towards my friend. We knew each other since high school but my feelings changed after we went to different university and were unable to see each other as often as before. I was missing her. I was thinking about her. And every time we were to met I was uneasy in a positive way. For a long time I was convinced I simply like her as a friend and miss her, till I acknowledged by a TV show that a girl can be in love with another girl and there is nothing kinky in it.

For another 2 years I had fun discovering my new feelings and giving her hints whenever we met. It was exciting to stare her in the eyes, hug longer than usually, paying for her tickets and holding her when it was cold while thinking "What does she think about it? Does she already knows I like her and pretends she doesn't or she is still clueless?". It was like a game. And it felt nice. Hugging someone who you actually like is on totally different level than hugging a friend or family member. Other than the touch and warmness you also get a warm feeling that spreads through your whole body and makes you calm and happy. And when the person you like is in the same room there is something like magnetic force between you and her. You want to get close and you feel uneasy when you are more than a meter away. And the jealousy... it's funny how protective you feel when a guy is getting too close to the girl you like. :lol:

But it is over now. Eventually I was tired of the game and decided to say how I feel to see which way it moves and I got the answer that she loves me just as a friends and it can't possibly be anything more on her side. I respect her choice so I stopped acting this way and eventually my feelings faded. They are still deep in there but I no longer feel the warm feeling when I hug her and the magnetic force is not there anymore. Too bad. Those were nice feelings. I hope to feel it again some day. But I don't regret anything. It was fun while it lasted and after a while it had to end one way or another, one can't live in a limbo for too long. At least I have my memories. :)



ReticentJaeger
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05 Jan 2015, 9:15 am

No.



Ganondox
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05 Jan 2015, 7:42 pm

Well, yes, when she finally told her after I had already told her a felt that way I awhile back I felt that way it was the most unreal experience. A mixture of euphoria and horror, the euphoria for obvious reasons, and the horror because I dunno, I guess I felt like was abusing her for her loving me that when she was just supposed to be a friend; I can't take advantage of someone I love in any manner. Doesn't help that she is probably the most alexithymic person I know, from the things she said it seems she liked me that way for awhile before then, she just didn't realize she did and was trying to figure out for awhile. Of course, the relationship didn't end up going anywhere, we're still friends now but without any romance between us, but still, it felt like something, that's for sure.


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FireyInspiration
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05 Jan 2015, 7:52 pm

platonic love? Yes
Romantic love? No