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Xanthic~Rain
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11 Dec 2014, 1:33 pm

I wasn't too good at making friends as a kid but I persisted, and by the time I was in my early 20s, I had a sizable amount of friends. Things were good for awhile. Then that idiotic Facebook came along, and all my friends started dropping off, one by one. Just because I have the sense not to use that s**t, everyone's decided to treat me like I never existed--no calls, no texts, no emails, no snail mail, no postcards, no telegrams, no nothing. They won't communicate any other way and it pisses me off! I realize there's alotta people who hate Facebook but use it anyway, cuz they don't have the gonads to go against the crowd. But I refuse to use something I'm morally opposed to just to be accepted. If that's the only way to have friends nowadays, I'd rather not have any.

Still, I can't help feeling lonely and wishing somebody would just reach out to me. To be fair, I didn't lose all my friends to that ferschlugginer site. Two of my friends committed suicide within a year of each other. Some moved away and didn't leave any contact info. Some relationships became unhealthy. One of my closest friends growing up started using and selling meth, then got busted, released on a technicality, and split town without telling anyone. You think you know someone...

To make things worse, we moved to a new town when my son was born, and there's really not many people in this town I wanna be friends with. I made some friends initially, but they were mostly transients---here today, gone tomorrow. Right now I only have one friend who lives close by, and to be honest, I don't consider him one of my closest friends. I don't have the heart to tell him this, cuz he's helped us out a lot and really likes us, but I just don't feel the kinship I used to feel with my old friends. I hope that doesn't make me a rotten person.

I still keep in touch with some friends from the old neighborhood once in a while, but I seldom if ever see them anymore, and I prolly wouldn't hear from any of them if I didn't contact them first.

So basically, I'm lonely, I hate Facebook, I don't have great social skills, and most people aren't worth the time of day anyway. I'm glad I found this site, where I can at least say what's on my mind.


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~follow your soul, not just your heart~


Xanthic~Rain
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15 Dec 2014, 11:59 am

pardon the *bump* but--is there anybody out there? :?


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anneurysm
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22 Dec 2014, 11:06 pm

I think people aren't responding to this post as it may not be clear to others what your intentions writing it are. It's formatted like a diary-style entry with no questions posed or any indications that you are looking for support, which may give the impression to others that you aren't seeking any feedback and are just venting.

However, since you have implicitly asked for it in the second post, I will offer some feedback. I can definitely sympathize with feeling unwanted and like you don't belong as I have been there at different points in my life.

Are you diagnosed and/or are you receiving disability services? These places are likely the best place for you to start. You should inquire about any social groups for people with ASD or other differences, or ask the people you are recieving supports from if they know anyone similar that would be interested in meeting someone new. I know through personal experience that people with ASD tend to get along best with others with ASD or other kinds of personal differences.

Living in a small town is an obstacle and it may mean you will have to look beyond it. You may have to commute to your nearest city in order to join social groups that interest you. If you lack transportation, search for commuter buses or trains in the area or get someone to give you a ride. Meetup.com and craigslist (platonic section) are great ways to meet new people.

You mentioned that no one on your Facebook or otherwise is reaching out to you. Are you reaching out to them? One of the obstacles of Facebook (in my opinion) is that it allows for passive viewing of others lives through their profiles, making it seem like you really know them. It's up to you to take initiative towards the other people you know, even if it's nerve wracking...it means they will be likely to contact you. Write "catch-up" messages to send to others like "Hey, how have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while, how is everything?"


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder

My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


B19
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22 Dec 2014, 11:20 pm

Yes, as the previous poster said, Meet-Up. There are social anxiety groups, where I found really nice (introverted) friends that are congenial for me to spend time with. Not all Meet-Ups are geared to NTs, thank goodness for that. And it is easy to join or leave if the group doesn't suit you, for minimal expense (if any).



eric76
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22 Dec 2014, 11:59 pm

For what it's worth, I detest Facebook and refuse to use it at all. Some of my nephews and nieces have facebook pages as well as one of my brothers, but I never have looked at the pages.



Xanthic~Rain
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23 Dec 2014, 12:23 am

Been away for a while, thanx for the responses, I'm glad to see there is a support group here. I'll check out meetup. In the meantime, I got started some projects that might enable me to make connections. We'll see.
(btw I refuse to use facebook too.. I thought my original post made that clear, but apparently not)


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chris4autismrights
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23 Dec 2014, 7:18 pm

I know what you mean. Facebook is the worst because people always are using it, checking it, and it irritates me so much because I hate IM and love email, snail mail and the occassional text



IncredibleFrog
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26 Dec 2014, 12:07 am

You are posting to a social media site right now, what's the difference? If you are that lonely, I think you should just do it. You don't have to use it to post pictures, or tag people, or any of that stuff. Just message your friends and say "hey, how have you been"?

I hate Facebook, but I have several friends who use it almost exclusively in place of phone or email. So I keep it just to stay in contact with them. I still use it only about every other month!



Xanthic~Rain
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21 Jan 2015, 1:43 pm

I've been away for a month, so excuse me.

To answer your question, IncredibleFrog, there's a huge difference between this site and Facebook. I can use WP without swallowing all my pride, or making some @$$hole billionaire richer, or wanting to kick my own ass. And I shouldn't have to use something I'm morally opposed to just to keep in touch with people who claimed to be my friends... they abandoned me, I didn't abandon them.
Anyway, you're required an email address to sign up for facebook.. so that means everyone who uses that site has email.. SO JUST F***ING EMAIL!! It's completely moronic to use facebook to the exclusion of other media! ANd I'm not gonna give into that game. True, I'm lonely, but selling out my principles (even abstemiously) isn't the answer.


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alomoes
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21 Jan 2015, 6:20 pm

Agreed.