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chris4autismrights
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23 Dec 2014, 7:20 pm

Has anyone noticed how women have such high standards when it comes to guys? I keep getting told on dating websites and by people I know in person "you aren't my type, sorry' or "not interested, sorry" or "I'd rather be friend's" and that irritates me so much!

Come on guys, you understand what I mean



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23 Dec 2014, 7:31 pm

Yes, we understand what you mean.

You can't get a date, and you blame women for it.

Anything else you want to say?


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andrethemoogle
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23 Dec 2014, 7:52 pm

Not all women are like that.

We men can be just as much of a prude when it comes to "standards" as well, it isn't gender exclusive.



chris4autismrights
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23 Dec 2014, 7:56 pm

If I offended anyone I will figure out a way to delete this profile. I just needed to vent and I didn't intend to hurt or anger anyone



andrethemoogle
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23 Dec 2014, 8:00 pm

chris4autismrights wrote:
If I offended anyone I will figure out a way to delete this profile. I just needed to vent and I didn't intend to hurt or anger anyone


I didn't find what you said offensive, was just giving my opinion. I know what it feels like to be put on a lower pedestal than others on dating sites due to having Asperger's, but in the end I know there are women out there that don't care if you have it and accept you for you.



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23 Dec 2014, 8:24 pm

At your age, women start looking for men who either have steady employment, a stated major at uni, or both.

It also helps to have a place of your own and reliable transportation.

If you have none of these going for you, then women your age are unlikely to think of you as dependable, ambitious, and committed to a plan for developing a future career.


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24 Dec 2014, 2:26 am

A women can be loved for something that is innate; a male cannot. Masculinity revolves around utility, which is in constant comparison with your peers, and thus it is constantly evolving and something that you have to work extremely hard to keep.

Yet a human shouldn't have to work hard for love -- it should be something that is given freely, not purchased like a commodity.

This is part of a cruel fact that most males have to accept -- the love we get is entirely based upon our abilities, and abilities fade, meaning life, and all of its joys, pleasures and delights, are just mere caricatures of something that seemed real, but was never there, it's just an illusion, that's all life is.



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24 Dec 2014, 2:47 am

sounds like hopeless then Fnord.

anyways. society is very materialistic nowadays and it's only going more and more that way. love is secondary to money and status/things. The idea being they get both and if they don't split up/divorce. probably why divorce rates are higher and climbing. the throw away generations. both people in items. most items are considered disposable nowadays. like phones or pcs.



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24 Dec 2014, 3:10 am

Klowglas wrote:
Yet a human shouldn't have to work hard for love -- it should be something that is given freely, not purchased like a commodity.


Why not? Females are picky by nature. Biology dictates it. It’s no accident that, very much, the best way to insult a woman is to suggest she’s not all that picky. The very idea of wanting them to be less picky seems obscene to me. They could never be true to themselves that way; they could never really respect their partners, nor themselves, having settled for them. They’d be pretending to like them their whole lives. This is just unacknowledged prostitution.

If you truly respect and love women, you want them to be with worthy partners. As I see it, unless you know you are a really, really, really high-quality male—and are ready to prove it, no matter what extraordinary feat you are required to accomplish or how formidable a foe you must fight to the death—you shouldn’t think of yourself as deserving as much as to ever see a female of your species in the distance in your whole life, let alone that they give you the time of the day.


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Klowglas
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24 Dec 2014, 4:05 am

Spiderpig wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Yet a human shouldn't have to work hard for love -- it should be something that is given freely, not purchased like a commodity.


Why not? Females are picky by nature. Biology dictates it. It’s no accident that, very much, the best way to insult a woman is to suggest she’s not all that picky. The very idea of wanting them to be less picky seems obscene to me. They could never be true to themselves that way; they could never really respect their partners, nor themselves, having settled for them. They’d be pretending to like them their whole lives. This is just unacknowledged prostitution.

If you truly respect and love women, you want them to be with worthy partners. As I see it, unless you know you are a really, really, really high-quality male—and are ready to prove it, no matter what extraordinary feat you are required to accomplish or how formidable a foe you must fight to the death—you shouldn’t think of yourself as deserving as much as to ever see a female of your species in the distance in your whole life, let alone that they give you the time of the day.


Because the nature of love tends to contradict that sort of vanity, a parent loves its child regardless of the childs performance, yet the same can't be true between spouses because of that corruption. Love between humans should be similar to the love between parent and child, which is the love that mirrors God and man, which is a love that can be sustained through old age and toil, and even beyond this life. If you tie your love to ability, then it's going to die with ability, or in other words, if you live by the sword, you are going to die by it.

Do you know the old folk song "The water is wide?" (or simply called 'O, waly waly' in other versions) the final verse tends to summarize love in this world, in all of its sadness and dysfunction --

"O' love is handsome and love is fine
and love's a jewel while it is new
but when it is old it groweth cold
and fades away like morning dew"


full song, http://youtu.be/5Q-lXOTq718



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24 Dec 2014, 5:32 am

Jewels are jewels because they’re hard to find, because not everyone can find one. If they were easy to find by everyone, they’d be worthless.


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24 Dec 2014, 5:43 am

Because most of us men are unattractive.



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24 Dec 2014, 8:14 am

Klowglas wrote:
A women can be loved for something that is innate; a male cannot. Masculinity revolves around utility, which is in constant comparison with your peers, and thus it is constantly evolving and something that you have to work extremely hard to keep.

Yet a human shouldn't have to work hard for love -- it should be something that is given freely, not purchased like a commodity.

This is part of a cruel fact that most males have to accept -- the love we get is entirely based upon our abilities, and abilities fade, meaning life, and all of its joys, pleasures and delights, are just mere caricatures of something that seemed real, but was never there, it's just an illusion, that's all life is.


In practice, women are primarily judged on their beauty--they have a much harder time staying beautiful than men have at staying useful. True, athletes are washed up in their 40s, but there is a big difference between competing at elite levels and being able to do something well--golfers can still play quite well when they are old.

Even though I'm over 50, it is likely that I can do a lot of advanced household projects--putting in a new kitchen faucet, installing a slide in range that is too big for the existing cutout, installing a garage door opener or ceiling fan, as well as the much younger Aspies on this forum, because I have the experience of having been there and done that.



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24 Dec 2014, 9:51 am

BTDT wrote:
... In practice, women are primarily judged on their beauty--they have a much harder time staying beautiful than men have at staying useful...
Women have one thing to compensate for this; something that men rarely enjoy. It's called "Alimony".

Do you want to trade in the mother of your children for a bikini model half her age? Be prepared to pay for it, and for the rest of your life.


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24 Dec 2014, 10:21 am

Fnord wrote:
BTDT wrote:
... In practice, women are primarily judged on their beauty--they have a much harder time staying beautiful than men have at staying useful...
Women have one thing to compensate for this; something that men rarely enjoy. It's called "Alimony".

Do you want to trade in the mother of your children for a bikini model half her age? Be prepared to pay for it, and for the rest of your life.


http://ideas.time.com/2013/05/16/the-de ... imony-too/
As this Time article points out, while your example used to happen quite often, times have changed.
If you stay at home to raise the kids, while your wife earns the income, you may be able to keep the kids and get monthly checks from your wife to raise them--even if you get re-married. The laws vary by state/country--and may change if they haven't been recently been changed...

Given all the issues that Aspies have in the workplace/office, it would make sense for Aspie guys to take care of the kids and let the wife have the high paying job. Or am I missing something??

From the article "The economist Gary Becker famously argued that this was how couples maximized their efficiency: dividing the labor enabled both to succeed in their respective spheres."



Rhapsody
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24 Dec 2014, 11:58 am

Being judged on your abilities sounds great! It's not like you're born with your ability and can only enhance it with makeup or surgeries that suddenly make you “fake” or “whorish”. Anybody can learn new things! It's one of the really awesome things about life.^^ But most people judge a person within the first couple seconds of meeting them. Which means unless they meet you doing an activity I feel like you can't be judged on it? Though, online dating certainly changes that because it's not a split second judge of appearance, tone of voice, and posture (and sobriety, I totally judge people on how scary-drunk they are when they approach me). Instead you get to see whatever it is they put on their profile. Which is waaaaay more information then that snap second most people get.

Hey, Chris, maybe the problem is your online profile? Or it could be who you're messaging? Remember, that the more attractive a woman is, the more messages they are going to get. So, it doesn't negate your chances, but it's going to be more difficult to catch her attention. Which isn't unfair, she's got the right to choice the same way you do, it's just the way it is. Sorry I'm totally not talking about your trouble real life, but that's a lot more difficult because nuances and stuff.

I honestly don't see what's so great about alimony. It has to be payed to the parent that keeps their responsibility to the child. It seems like a fair system, because children are really expensive and a joint venture, but it's not really fair to the kid who would usually rather have both their parents. Poor kid.