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L_Holmes
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31 Dec 2014, 1:26 am

I can. I think this is partly why I didn't realize that I wasn't really normal for a long time; I was kind of indifferent to having friends anyway, and I figured that was the only reason I didn't have any. That was up until I was about 16. At that age I spent a lot of time thinking about the little social rules, taking mental notes of them and storing them for future reference. I was working it all out consciously, but for some reason I thought everyone was like that, and that I was just slow on the uptake because I didn't have as many friends when I was younger to learn from.

When I was 17 I even started to totally copy my friend's mannerisms, intentionally, because I noticed how popular he was. I started to use all the same slang and way of speaking in general, I wore the same kinds of clothes. I even copied the way he walked, because the way I naturally walk apparently looks really stiff, and I was made fun of for it by some people.

Weird thing is, I actually got good enough at it to where some people really thought I was normal (at least for the first couple times talking to me). To where even I started thinking I could be normal. That led to a lot of disappointment of course. This is why sometimes I have wished I wasn't so intelligent, because maybe I wouldn't have been able to figure so many things out and I wouldn't have fooled so many others (or myself).


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31 Dec 2014, 3:58 am

You're almost describing me.

When I was young I didn't pay attention to social rules and didn't have many friends. It wasn't until about the age of 15 that I got a best friend who was a lot more social than me. I watched the way he interacted and tried to copy some of his actions and phrases, which sometimes led to disappointments. I always thought I was just socially slow and, watching older friends and cousins, that I would grow out of it eventually (which I didn't).

The reason why my parents never suspected something was different about me is that I'm generally smart and always did well in school. Looking back at my school years I remember all the sh*t I had to go through just because I was under the illusion that I was "normal", and some of the "friends" I had were only using me for their own entertainment, even to the point of insulting me to my face, without me realizing.

I've also wished that I wasn't intelligent, because it only raises people's expectations of me, and makes them frustrated when I fail. But then I remember that it doesn't have to be a bad thing, and I can use it to my advantage in life.

So, no, I can't really fake NT. People can always tell there's something "off" about me, but often can't put their finger on it.


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opossum
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31 Dec 2014, 9:25 am

Hi All. Me too, I thought I was just not getting it and everyone else just sort of knew how to be "normal" I learned how to react to situations and what sort of response to give but this has it's limitations and I am currently in a position in my life where something needs to change dramatically, I have recently been unofficially diagnosed as being on the spectrum and have an appointment coming shortly to look at it further. If it is confirmed ot will answer a lot of questions for me about why I have felt like I have all my life and seen myself apart from the rest of society, surviving rather than living.
Suppose it's a bit like being an undercover agent or a sleeper cell. But now having had the diagnosis, albeit unofficial, It is becoming easier to understand and a lot is falling into place.



Edna3362
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31 Dec 2014, 9:32 am

I had back when I was younger, I didn't knew I was really that different. After the diagnosis I tried too hard, it hit me hard because it turned too complicated. After that, ever since that huge pause I did for nearly 4 years, it got a bit rusty. Yet, I'm not worried if I forgot how to act like an NT.
So to say, 'yes I can fake NT' like superficially. For some time or only necessarily because it feels too unnatural. And I would never master it because it doesn't come to me intuitively.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Dec 2014, 9:43 am

I wouldn't say that I "fake NT," so much. I try to seem "less autistic and more like a court jester," though. I make quips. I meow. I sometimes even respond appropriately when people are talking about current events.


All in all, I just make myself out to be an oddball. People find me funny, and laugh (at me and with me). Autism doesn't enter their mind.



pj4990
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31 Dec 2014, 10:15 am

Faking NT gets easier with time, I don't know how often it gets perfected. I like to think I can and then at some point it goes wrong. When I do disclose it the usual reaction is "yes, that makes sense, I figured there was something unusual about you" rather than "no way, you seemed so normal!". I'm fairly sure I could pass as NT a lot better than when I was a child.



Fnord
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31 Dec 2014, 10:21 am

I can fake sincerity, is that close enough?


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Shelldor2015
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31 Dec 2014, 10:36 am

I can, but it takes a lot out of me. However, when I used to drink I could pass convincingly as an NT. Of course, everyone was hammered. I don't fake it anymore though. If people don't like me, it's their deal. Not mine.


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TheAP
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31 Dec 2014, 10:47 am

Sometimes I can make eye contact and ask questions and keep the conversation going, and do all the things you're supposed to do. But other times I can't think of anything to say, and don't know when to end the conversation, and I know I'm acting weird but don't know how to fix it.

When I start in a new place with new people, I usually manage to appear semi-normal by just being quiet and contributing only when I have something to say. But then I have one of my legendary freak-outs, and, well, that's the end of seeming normal.



eggheadjr
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31 Dec 2014, 10:51 am

Apparently I'm a lot less effective at faking being NT than I thought I was. At least, that's what I've been told.

Oh well. 8O


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SteelMaiden
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31 Dec 2014, 10:58 am

I cannot fake NT. People say they notice there is "something" wrong with me when they meet me, and then when I say I have autism, they don't say anything to the contrary.

I don't understand people at all and I rarely socialise (or have the desire to), so as a side-effect of that I cannot fake NT.


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felinesaresuperior
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31 Dec 2014, 11:17 am

I can try... but sometimes people laugh at me. saying the right things isn't enough. You have to know to say them at the right time, and to the right person, or it might go horribly wrong.

Finally, i think i got it right most of the time, or maybe that's just what I think. I have no idea what the nts are thinking, if they're laughing behind my back.


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InThisTogether
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31 Dec 2014, 11:35 am

I "fake NT" all the time, only I don't know if I would really call it "faking NT." I have figured out what is expected in most situations and I do it, but it is not always what comes naturally to me. If I only did what came naturally, no doubt people would think I was odd. The people I am closest to know some of my oddities. Sometimes I am disappointed that they are "in on the secret" because they catch my "slips" when I think people who don't know, wouldn't have noticed.

Disclaimer: I am not fully on the spectrum. Only 1 foot, with ADD thrown in. So not NT either.


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btbnnyr
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31 Dec 2014, 1:39 pm

I don't fake NT, eberryone considers me a weirdo and tell me so.


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31 Dec 2014, 4:48 pm

I always try to act as NT-like as possible, though I try a little less at home than I do at school and in public.
A lot of the time, it's pretty successful. Many people have said to me they'd never have known I was autistic unless I'd have said. But people who know me well can pick up on my 'autistic behaviours' such as my impulsive remarks and inappropriate responses to times of trouble.


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DevilKisses
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31 Dec 2014, 6:19 pm

I don't have enough energy to fake being NT. Fortunately I'm not exactly autistic. I think I just have ADHD traits, OCD and something else. When I feel healthy and strong I think I look pretty NT. When I'm not I look spaced out, ADDish, and slightly odd. I don't think I've looked autistic since I was a little kid.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
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