Dealing with Rejection
12 Jan 2015, 1:19 pm
CynicalWaffle wrote:
Women can get away with anything......including murder. Unless they murder their own child.
It's best not to question this type of thing because all it'll do is draw ire from women. Although I do recall bringing up this exact point once and getting slammed all over the place for it.
And people of course blame the patriarchy. This is one of the only things the patriarchy cannot be blamed for, since it's women who instigated this rule. And it's women who oftentimes bring it up and follow it to a T. I can count the number of times on one hand when other men have told me that it was weak to show feelings.......women, on the other hand, would take me the entire region of Asia to show you how many times I've been told I was weak because I showed any feelings (whether positive or negative).
Once again, the whole "men are supposed to be soulless automatons who make money and have talents" thing comes into play.
It's best not to question this type of thing because all it'll do is draw ire from women. Although I do recall bringing up this exact point once and getting slammed all over the place for it.
And people of course blame the patriarchy. This is one of the only things the patriarchy cannot be blamed for, since it's women who instigated this rule. And it's women who oftentimes bring it up and follow it to a T. I can count the number of times on one hand when other men have told me that it was weak to show feelings.......women, on the other hand, would take me the entire region of Asia to show you how many times I've been told I was weak because I showed any feelings (whether positive or negative).
Once again, the whole "men are supposed to be soulless automatons who make money and have talents" thing comes into play.
If you are a grownup and you've been rejected, you are expected to behave like in a civilized manner -- whether you're male or female. Keep it together at work, save the crying/complaining/drinking too much for your off hours - that's the minimum behavioral standard.
I think anybody who gets dumped gets a whole bunch of sympathy/casseroles/comforting from friends in the immediate aftermath of the breakup (regardless of whose "fault" it was)... but after that is to be gently, truthfully told to stop wallowing. They're certainly entitled to wallow but pointing out doing so doesn't seem to be working for them is fair game.
And I've absolutely told a (very) close friend that it sucks that she's heartbroken C dumped her, but he did and thus he can bring NewGirl as his date, it's not "wrong" or "cheating" and she needs to stop with the badmouthing of both of them. And had close friends do the same for me.
12 Jan 2015, 1:51 pm
KayteeKay wrote:
CynicalWaffle wrote:
Women can get away with anything......including murder. Unless they murder their own child.
It's best not to question this type of thing because all it'll do is draw ire from women. Although I do recall bringing up this exact point once and getting slammed all over the place for it.
And people of course blame the patriarchy. This is one of the only things the patriarchy cannot be blamed for, since it's women who instigated this rule. And it's women who oftentimes bring it up and follow it to a T. I can count the number of times on one hand when other men have told me that it was weak to show feelings.......women, on the other hand, would take me the entire region of Asia to show you how many times I've been told I was weak because I showed any feelings (whether positive or negative).
Once again, the whole "men are supposed to be soulless automatons who make money and have talents" thing comes into play.
It's best not to question this type of thing because all it'll do is draw ire from women. Although I do recall bringing up this exact point once and getting slammed all over the place for it.
And people of course blame the patriarchy. This is one of the only things the patriarchy cannot be blamed for, since it's women who instigated this rule. And it's women who oftentimes bring it up and follow it to a T. I can count the number of times on one hand when other men have told me that it was weak to show feelings.......women, on the other hand, would take me the entire region of Asia to show you how many times I've been told I was weak because I showed any feelings (whether positive or negative).
Once again, the whole "men are supposed to be soulless automatons who make money and have talents" thing comes into play.
If you are a grownup and you've been rejected, you are expected to behave like in a civilized manner -- whether you're male or female. Keep it together at work, save the crying/complaining/drinking too much for your off hours - that's the minimum behavioral standard.
I think anybody who gets dumped gets a whole bunch of sympathy/casseroles/comforting from friends in the immediate aftermath of the breakup (regardless of whose "fault" it was)... but after that is to be gently, truthfully told to stop wallowing. They're certainly entitled to wallow but pointing out doing so doesn't seem to be working for them is fair game.
And I've absolutely told a (very) close friend that it sucks that she's heartbroken C dumped her, but he did and thus he can bring NewGirl as his date, it's not "wrong" or "cheating" and she needs to stop with the badmouthing of both of them. And had close friends do the same for me.
Nope. If you're female, American society does not expect you to act like an adult.
Now AFAIC, if I don't get to whine and complain then I refuse to tolerate it from anyone else.
15 Jan 2015, 10:17 pm
Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
KayteeKay wrote:
CynicalWaffle wrote:
Women can get away with anything......including murder. Unless they murder their own child.
It's best not to question this type of thing because all it'll do is draw ire from women. Although I do recall bringing up this exact point once and getting slammed all over the place for it.
And people of course blame the patriarchy. This is one of the only things the patriarchy cannot be blamed for, since it's women who instigated this rule. And it's women who oftentimes bring it up and follow it to a T. I can count the number of times on one hand when other men have told me that it was weak to show feelings.......women, on the other hand, would take me the entire region of Asia to show you how many times I've been told I was weak because I showed any feelings (whether positive or negative).
Once again, the whole "men are supposed to be soulless automatons who make money and have talents" thing comes into play.
It's best not to question this type of thing because all it'll do is draw ire from women. Although I do recall bringing up this exact point once and getting slammed all over the place for it.
And people of course blame the patriarchy. This is one of the only things the patriarchy cannot be blamed for, since it's women who instigated this rule. And it's women who oftentimes bring it up and follow it to a T. I can count the number of times on one hand when other men have told me that it was weak to show feelings.......women, on the other hand, would take me the entire region of Asia to show you how many times I've been told I was weak because I showed any feelings (whether positive or negative).
Once again, the whole "men are supposed to be soulless automatons who make money and have talents" thing comes into play.
If you are a grownup and you've been rejected, you are expected to behave like in a civilized manner -- whether you're male or female. Keep it together at work, save the crying/complaining/drinking too much for your off hours - that's the minimum behavioral standard.
I think anybody who gets dumped gets a whole bunch of sympathy/casseroles/comforting from friends in the immediate aftermath of the breakup (regardless of whose "fault" it was)... but after that is to be gently, truthfully told to stop wallowing. They're certainly entitled to wallow but pointing out doing so doesn't seem to be working for them is fair game.
And I've absolutely told a (very) close friend that it sucks that she's heartbroken C dumped her, but he did and thus he can bring NewGirl as his date, it's not "wrong" or "cheating" and she needs to stop with the badmouthing of both of them. And had close friends do the same for me.
Nope. If you're female, American society does not expect you to act like an adult.
Now AFAIC, if I don't get to whine and complain then I refuse to tolerate it from anyone else.
Clearly, you don't spend much time with grownup women.
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