Harm and undermining of the self diagnosed on WP

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At least your summers are much more pleasant than they are here in NYC. It makes up for the winter.

My best friend when I was 15 was a spoiled Persian named Zum Zum.

Zum Zum was purely a house cat. She wouldn't have survived going a few steps in the streets.

If you've ever seen the Fancy Feast commercial, you'll know what Zum Zum looked like (except she was gray). She could have been a show cat--but she had a stubborn nature. She absolutely hated to be brushed.

The other day, BNBBNYR presented us with unusual wild cats. It was kind of a satire on our reliance on cats to calm down threads.

Good thing about cats: they clean themselves, and are almost always litter-trained.

One thought I have today is that there could be benefit in setting up a "safehouse" thread on WP which could serve as a dedicated haven for anyone at any time who has been gut-kicked by a personal attack or some kind of hostility that temporarily throws someone off balance into a depressive or self-invalidating spiral. Others who believe in peer support could check in there when they are in a safe space to offer support and help restore perspective. It would have to be intensively moderated by the mods so that "hostility stalkers" don't zoom in on their target of the day or week and continue their harrassment, and we would have to define what kinds of harrassments are no go - personal attacks, put downs, sneering, snide comments, dismissive attitudes towards people's pain or anxiety... I know we have the haven forum though I think there could be merit in a dedicated thread. The recovery period from a wounding attack by another member can be shortened by validation, support, time and a sense of safety which comes from being in a safe place.

The Haven generally should always be a safe place, and mostly is, though undermining, shaming, invalidation and put downs do sometimes creep in there too, which is why I think a dedicated thread might be worthwhile. Certainly if it stops some members, however few, leaving the only place that they once felt they belonged, and returning to isolation and the added stresses that can bring. I can think of a number of members - many of you have PM'd me - who would be excellent at offering affirmative and healing support for any members in distress at any time, and they too may need some from time to time. A safe, healing, inclusive and respectful place where it's not a risk to reveal your hurt when the occasion arises. Thoughts? (NB: Not somewhere to name and shame the abusers - the abusers are for the mods to deal with).

For the purposes of this thread, the mods have advised that PMs sent to me (from people who want to comment on past harm they have experienced while remaining anonymous so that they have protection from renewed attacks) can be posted on this thread, in this specific case, so long as the following conditions are met
1) they are posted anonymously by me and 2) the poster gives express permission to me to repost their message in the PM. I think that's a really good decision.

However if you are reading this thread/this post without prior familiarity with this thread, and want to comment, please review the whole thread first so that new posts maintain the contextual relevance. Thanks

Fnord have you ever considered looking for another job? Your workplace sounds like it's filled to the brim with unpleasant people.

Sometimes I feel that users (particularly Fnord, it must be said) can be a little blunt when someone comes to us looking for information about whether they might be autistic.

Rather than just saying "only a qualified professional can provide an official ASD diagnosis" (which is, of course, perfectly true), might it not be useful for us to add "...and an official diagnosis provides benefits like making sure you don't have a similar condition, and giving you the right to reasonable adjustments at work and university"? That way we don't risk questioning whether the self-diagnosed are actually autistic, but rather the relative uselessness of WP as a diagnostic tool.

I think these discussions of validity are good. It's a reminder to those of us who think we are or might be autistic to be cautious of confirmation bias and our own limits of understanding.