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pcuser
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21 Jan 2015, 1:25 pm

Hi,
I've only known about my As the last 3 years. I'm wondering if suicidal thoughts are part of being Autistic... :(



LupaLuna
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21 Jan 2015, 1:59 pm

pcuser wrote:
Hi,
I've only known about my As the last 3 years. I'm wondering if suicidal thoughts are part of being Autistic... :(


Not directly. but it can be by indirect means, like depression. Being autistic, in and of itself, does not automatically mean you have a desire to wanna kill yourself.



Raleigh
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21 Jan 2015, 3:04 pm

I've suffered from obsessional suicidal ideation for most of my life. It's been hell, so I sympathise. I can't say if it's ASD in itself. More likely the co-morbids, such as anxiety, depression or pure O OCD.
Having said that, I'm still here so it's possible to beat those thoughts.


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Fnord
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21 Jan 2015, 4:19 pm

I'm told that everybody has suicidal thoughts at one time or another.


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Sequoia
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21 Jan 2015, 4:24 pm

I have also struggled with suicidal thoughts. I don't think it's the disorder itself, but for me it's feeling like something's wrong with me and not having a flipping clue how to fix it or why I'm like this.



Sweetleaf
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21 Jan 2015, 4:40 pm

I struggle with suicidal ideation at best might just have a couple passing thoughts of suicide over frustration or something but nothing too serious. But it has gotten to the point I attempted once, and since then I have been in the psych ward a couple times when I was concerned I'd carry out suicidal thoughts. I don't think its part of the having autism in itself, but rather co-morbids common with autism can contribute as well as social factors/environmental factors and how they effect you.


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BeggingTurtle
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21 Jan 2015, 9:44 pm

I've thought about it, but the ramifications are too great; therefore, not worth doing.

That is to say, yes, I have had them. Are they bad? No.


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EzraS
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21 Jan 2015, 11:50 pm

I have a strong survival instinct. But many times I wish I was never born.



zer0netgain
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22 Jan 2015, 6:14 am

My spin on the topic is this.

I've lived my life on the "outside" of everyone else. I've never found my place or my purpose. I'm getting ever closer to 50 having never held a "good job" and soon can expect I'd be lucky just to work someplace that accepts me...never mind if it pays well, provides benefits, or allows me to save for retirement.

I'm still living with parents...in part by choice because it saves money and they can use the extra help around the house...but I can't really afford to live on my own. Lost my job over a year ago and still don't have stable and reliable full employment.

My dad commented the other day that he worries about me. We never talk about it, but my parents must know I'm not "normal," and when they are gone, there won't be a lot of $$$ left over to ensure I don't worry about how to pay the bills on my own.

When I was younger and thought about killing myself, I took solace in that tomorrow was another day, next year was another year...there was always reason to hope things would turn around.

Now that I know about AS, and see how year after year passes but nothing really seems to get better, I truly worry about what will happen to me after my parents are gone and if I DO NOT have a good/decent job and am out on my own by then.

The thought of killing myself is with me daily now. I sincerely hope I get a stroke, heart attack or brain aneurism and drop dead rather than have to make the choice to end my own life. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but everything in life I had hoped for, I now know I will likely never have, and mere survival IS NOT enough of a reason to keep on fighting.

This could happen to anyone (including NTs), but people with disabilities that limit their ability to be part of society and be self-sufficient, they have a more grim and uncertain future than most other people.

Oh, and can we lose the duplicate threads? :wink:



pcuser
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22 Jan 2015, 10:32 am

Sorry if it's duplicative. I'm new and am still learning how to find threads...



Sequoia
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22 Jan 2015, 2:55 pm

*Hugs*. I'm sorry you are going through all this. It can definitely be discouraging sometimes.