What do you find confusing about the "NT World"?
30 Mar 2015, 2:39 pm
Greenhat wrote:
untilwereturn wrote:
Proteus wrote:
This thought was inspired by another thread on WP: I am confused by the idea of NTs claiming to be on the autism spectrum for the sole purpose of jumping on some sort of intangible, mysterious bandwagon.
I sought help because all of my work arounds and life hacks were finally beginning to wear me down. The façade of normalcy I worked so hard to project was/is draining the life out of me. Only after several years of reading on my own, talking with family and friends who’ve known me since childhood, and taking a variety of the online tests did I finally seek professional help and received a diagnosis. And to be honest, I didn't jump for joy when I finally accepted that I am autistic. I cried. (I'm working on letting go of my self-hatred.) I spent the great bulk of my life wanting to be "normal", so the idea of NTs seeking this specific diagnosis, despite all of the advantages that society affords them precisely because they are NT, seems completely absurd to me. What is to be truly gained by pretending to have what the mental health field calls a developmental disorder if you don’t actually have said disorder? Color me confused.
I sought help because all of my work arounds and life hacks were finally beginning to wear me down. The façade of normalcy I worked so hard to project was/is draining the life out of me. Only after several years of reading on my own, talking with family and friends who’ve known me since childhood, and taking a variety of the online tests did I finally seek professional help and received a diagnosis. And to be honest, I didn't jump for joy when I finally accepted that I am autistic. I cried. (I'm working on letting go of my self-hatred.) I spent the great bulk of my life wanting to be "normal", so the idea of NTs seeking this specific diagnosis, despite all of the advantages that society affords them precisely because they are NT, seems completely absurd to me. What is to be truly gained by pretending to have what the mental health field calls a developmental disorder if you don’t actually have said disorder? Color me confused.
Is pretending to be on the spectrum a common thing? I've not run into that in my experience, although it wouldn't surprise me. Maybe it's an attention-seeking device, or a way of trying to shirk life's responsibilities? I don't know.
As for my own adult diagnosis last year, it was a relief. It validated my life's experiences, helped me feel like I wasn't just "weird," and it gave me permission to be who I am - at least part of the time - without feeling a need to explain or apologize for my quirkier traits.
I know some people on the Internet claim to have self-diagnosed Asperger's as a Get Out of Jail Free card for being jerks. At least, that's the stereotype; I've never seen it.
Right, but that’s where my confusion really kicks in. I know intellectually that some people crave the attention of others. But I really don’t understand why. It’s like reading about the experiences of blind people. Sure, I can read their stories and try to put myself in their shoes, but without first hand knowledge of what it’s really like to be blind, my understanding of the condition can only ever be second hand.
If these bandwagoneers as I call them exist at all, or in the numbers some people here think they do, then they must receive some sort of psychological benefit from claiming the autistic label. I’d like to hear what they think they’re gaining from the bandwagoneers themselves. One of my “interests” is psychology. I am not a huge fan of humans per se, but I am fascinated by the way their minds work.
As for my reaction to all this, I grieved the loss of the dream of normality. Yes, I know that normal probably doesn’t exist anyway, but bottom line, I have low self esteem and I was extremely attached to the notion that one day I would grow out of whatever "this" was. Now that I know what "this" is and that there is no growing out of it, I’m slowly reprogramming my mind to let that go of my irrational desire for something that I can't have and probably doesn't exist anyway.
30 Mar 2015, 2:48 pm
As a matter of fact, I really don’t understand the need for the attention of others at all. My sister has narcissistic tendencies and since she was a child, she has sought and received the attention of others, even if it’s negative attention. I do not get that at all, almost not even on the intellectual level. Why would the idea of people looking at you and thinking about you and talking about you be rewarding or whatever it is to those who seek attention? I suppose I should just ask my sister. 
30 Mar 2015, 2:54 pm
Proteus wrote:
Greenhat wrote:
untilwereturn wrote:
Proteus wrote:
This thought was inspired by another thread on WP: I am confused by the idea of NTs claiming to be on the autism spectrum for the sole purpose of jumping on some sort of intangible, mysterious bandwagon.
I sought help because all of my work arounds and life hacks were finally beginning to wear me down. The façade of normalcy I worked so hard to project was/is draining the life out of me. Only after several years of reading on my own, talking with family and friends who’ve known me since childhood, and taking a variety of the online tests did I finally seek professional help and received a diagnosis. And to be honest, I didn't jump for joy when I finally accepted that I am autistic. I cried. (I'm working on letting go of my self-hatred.) I spent the great bulk of my life wanting to be "normal", so the idea of NTs seeking this specific diagnosis, despite all of the advantages that society affords them precisely because they are NT, seems completely absurd to me. What is to be truly gained by pretending to have what the mental health field calls a developmental disorder if you don’t actually have said disorder? Color me confused.
I sought help because all of my work arounds and life hacks were finally beginning to wear me down. The façade of normalcy I worked so hard to project was/is draining the life out of me. Only after several years of reading on my own, talking with family and friends who’ve known me since childhood, and taking a variety of the online tests did I finally seek professional help and received a diagnosis. And to be honest, I didn't jump for joy when I finally accepted that I am autistic. I cried. (I'm working on letting go of my self-hatred.) I spent the great bulk of my life wanting to be "normal", so the idea of NTs seeking this specific diagnosis, despite all of the advantages that society affords them precisely because they are NT, seems completely absurd to me. What is to be truly gained by pretending to have what the mental health field calls a developmental disorder if you don’t actually have said disorder? Color me confused.
Is pretending to be on the spectrum a common thing? I've not run into that in my experience, although it wouldn't surprise me. Maybe it's an attention-seeking device, or a way of trying to shirk life's responsibilities? I don't know.
As for my own adult diagnosis last year, it was a relief. It validated my life's experiences, helped me feel like I wasn't just "weird," and it gave me permission to be who I am - at least part of the time - without feeling a need to explain or apologize for my quirkier traits.
I know some people on the Internet claim to have self-diagnosed Asperger's as a Get Out of Jail Free card for being jerks. At least, that's the stereotype; I've never seen it.
Right, but that’s where my confusion really kicks in. I know intellectually that some people crave the attention of others. But I really don’t understand why. It’s like reading about the experiences of blind people. Sure, I can read their stories and try to put myself in their shoes, but without first hand knowledge of what it’s really like to be blind, my understanding of the condition can only ever be second hand.
If these bandwagoneers as I call them exist at all, or in the numbers some people here think they do, then they must receive some sort of psychological benefit from claiming the autistic label. I’d like to hear what they think they’re gaining from the bandwagoneers themselves. One of my “interests” is psychology. I am not a huge fan of humans per se, but I am fascinated by the way their minds work.
As for my reaction to all this, I grieved the loss of the dream of normality. Yes, I know that normal probably doesn’t exist anyway, but bottom line, I have low self esteem and I was extremely attached to the notion that one day I would grow out of whatever "this" was. Now that I know what "this" is and that there is no growing out of it, I’m slowly reprogramming my mind to let that go of my irrational desire for something that I can't have and probably doesn't exist anyway.
I think it's an excuse more than a dream, a sort of "you can't hold me responsible for [unkind comment]! I have Asperger's!" thing. It's an excuse for being jerks, to some people.
30 Mar 2015, 3:10 pm
Greenhat wrote:
Proteus wrote:
Greenhat wrote:
untilwereturn wrote:
Proteus wrote:
This thought was inspired by another thread on WP: I am confused by the idea of NTs claiming to be on the autism spectrum for the sole purpose of jumping on some sort of intangible, mysterious bandwagon.
I sought help because all of my work arounds and life hacks were finally beginning to wear me down. The façade of normalcy I worked so hard to project was/is draining the life out of me. Only after several years of reading on my own, talking with family and friends who’ve known me since childhood, and taking a variety of the online tests did I finally seek professional help and received a diagnosis. And to be honest, I didn't jump for joy when I finally accepted that I am autistic. I cried. (I'm working on letting go of my self-hatred.) I spent the great bulk of my life wanting to be "normal", so the idea of NTs seeking this specific diagnosis, despite all of the advantages that society affords them precisely because they are NT, seems completely absurd to me. What is to be truly gained by pretending to have what the mental health field calls a developmental disorder if you don’t actually have said disorder? Color me confused.
I sought help because all of my work arounds and life hacks were finally beginning to wear me down. The façade of normalcy I worked so hard to project was/is draining the life out of me. Only after several years of reading on my own, talking with family and friends who’ve known me since childhood, and taking a variety of the online tests did I finally seek professional help and received a diagnosis. And to be honest, I didn't jump for joy when I finally accepted that I am autistic. I cried. (I'm working on letting go of my self-hatred.) I spent the great bulk of my life wanting to be "normal", so the idea of NTs seeking this specific diagnosis, despite all of the advantages that society affords them precisely because they are NT, seems completely absurd to me. What is to be truly gained by pretending to have what the mental health field calls a developmental disorder if you don’t actually have said disorder? Color me confused.
Is pretending to be on the spectrum a common thing? I've not run into that in my experience, although it wouldn't surprise me. Maybe it's an attention-seeking device, or a way of trying to shirk life's responsibilities? I don't know.
As for my own adult diagnosis last year, it was a relief. It validated my life's experiences, helped me feel like I wasn't just "weird," and it gave me permission to be who I am - at least part of the time - without feeling a need to explain or apologize for my quirkier traits.
I know some people on the Internet claim to have self-diagnosed Asperger's as a Get Out of Jail Free card for being jerks. At least, that's the stereotype; I've never seen it.
Right, but that’s where my confusion really kicks in. I know intellectually that some people crave the attention of others. But I really don’t understand why. It’s like reading about the experiences of blind people. Sure, I can read their stories and try to put myself in their shoes, but without first hand knowledge of what it’s really like to be blind, my understanding of the condition can only ever be second hand.
If these bandwagoneers as I call them exist at all, or in the numbers some people here think they do, then they must receive some sort of psychological benefit from claiming the autistic label. I’d like to hear what they think they’re gaining from the bandwagoneers themselves. One of my “interests” is psychology. I am not a huge fan of humans per se, but I am fascinated by the way their minds work.
As for my reaction to all this, I grieved the loss of the dream of normality. Yes, I know that normal probably doesn’t exist anyway, but bottom line, I have low self esteem and I was extremely attached to the notion that one day I would grow out of whatever "this" was. Now that I know what "this" is and that there is no growing out of it, I’m slowly reprogramming my mind to let that go of my irrational desire for something that I can't have and probably doesn't exist anyway.
I think it's an excuse more than a dream, a sort of "you can't hold me responsible for [unkind comment]! I have Asperger's!" thing. It's an excuse for being jerks, to some people.
I would really love to know if that works for those people. I try hard in my offline life to not be a jerk, so I don’t truly understand that “free pass to be a jerk” mindset either, but that’s another story.
30 Mar 2015, 4:21 pm
Proteus wrote:
Greenhat wrote:
I think it's an excuse more than a dream, a sort of "you can't hold me responsible for [unkind comment]! I have Asperger's!" thing. It's an excuse for being jerks, to some people.
I would really love to know if that works for those people. I try hard in my offline life to not be a jerk, so I don’t truly understand that “free pass to be a jerk” mindset either, but that’s another story.
Did you ever watch the TV shows House or Bones? In both shows, we have a socially inept main character who is allowed to say cuttingly truthful (in the case of Bones) or downright mean (in the case of House) remarks because of their incredible expertise in their fields.
In the case of Dr. Brennan on Bones, she is overly honest and doesn't understand why people should be insulted by what she says. (she would say something like, "what I said was the truth, so if someone is angry, their anger is about the circumstance of their own life, not about me.") People let her say whatever she wants because they know she isn't trying to be mean and because she is the top forensic anthropologist in the country and they need her to solve crimes.
In the case of Dr. House on House, he is viciously insulting to everyone and they let him get away with it because if you have a rare disease, he will save your life while insults you.
Even though neither character is supposed to have Asperger's in their shows, their behavior appears similar to someone with Asperger's, especially to people watching who have little understanding of what Asperger's is. They see that these characters are cool and that they get to say whatever they want and no one can get mad about it. 'So, hey, if I pretend to have Asperger's, too, I can be cool and I can say whatever I want to people and they can't get mad at me.'
_________________
You don't need to hide, my friend, for I am just like you.
30 Mar 2015, 5:36 pm
jimmyboy76453 wrote:
Did you ever watch the TV shows House or Bones...
I can see that. What I can’t see is that kind of thing working in real life. I’ve been employed in a variety of settings and I haven’t run across one yet where you could be as rude as House and get away with it, even if you’re brilliant at your job. I have of course seen people be incredibly rude in the work place. Mostly though, the in your face rudeness that I’ve personally witnessed came from those higher up in the hierarchy. Their ire was directed at those with lower positions. Those same rude higher ups were often obsequious when they interacted with their “superiors” in the hierarchy. The in your face rudeness that happened between those on the same level were either accepted meekly by someone who was accustomed to being psychologically dominated or reacted against by those who are more comfortable setting boundaries. But the in your face rudeness that House displayed with absolutely anyone and everyone, no matter what their title, all without serious and permanent work place consequences, was the one of the most unbelievable parts of the show for me.
I know that in my own case, being incredibly rude, saying I have Aspergers and then hoping that that admission will quell any kind of negative feedback, is unrealistic. I cannot see how I could possibly be given that much leeway, in any of the jobs I’ve held. I’d never try it and I’d never encourage anyone else too either. But I am basically arguing from my own incredulity, which I know is logically fallacious.
31 Mar 2015, 12:21 am
abeautifulmind wrote:
Extreme selfishness
Extreme Insensitivity
Extreme Self-Importance
Using words,speech,conversation and /or language to show all the above. No doubt, why NTs are so fond of talking.
Extreme Insensitivity
Extreme Self-Importance
Using words,speech,conversation and /or language to show all the above. No doubt, why NTs are so fond of talking.
That's their obsession with identity.
They filter all of their input/output through their identity algorithms.
All information is "qualified" in terms of what it means to them (their identity).
31 Mar 2015, 12:36 am
I don't understand how peepol can be a "fan" of other peepol or have idols...
I dont understand how peepol can like reeding fiction.
I don't understand how peepol can enjoy movies with lots of dialog.
I don't understand y peepol heyt each other.
I don't understand how peepol can be interested in so many things
I don't understand y peepol play leeg of legends or world of Warcraft cuz they look visualee like gayms for children.
I don't understand why peepol arownd my age (27) like music from a diferent generation (the beetuls, pink Floyd, matelica, xcetera)
mr_bigmouth_502
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Age: 30
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31 Mar 2015, 1:51 am
SIDWULF wrote:
I don't understand how peepol can be a "fan" of other peepol or have idols...
I dont understand how peepol can like reeding fiction.
I don't understand how peepol can enjoy movies with lots of dialog.
I don't understand y peepol heyt each other.
I don't understand how peepol can be interested in so many things
I don't understand y peepol play leeg of legends or world of Warcraft cuz they look visualee like gayms for children.
I don't understand why peepol arownd my age (27) like music from a diferent generation (the beetuls, pink Floyd, matelica, xcetera)
I dont understand how peepol can like reeding fiction.
I don't understand how peepol can enjoy movies with lots of dialog.
I don't understand y peepol heyt each other.
I don't understand how peepol can be interested in so many things
I don't understand y peepol play leeg of legends or world of Warcraft cuz they look visualee like gayms for children.
I don't understand why peepol arownd my age (27) like music from a diferent generation (the beetuls, pink Floyd, matelica, xcetera)
I'm sensing heavy amounts of sarcasm... what kind of point are you trying to make?
31 Mar 2015, 2:51 am
When reading this thread I got the feeling that a lot of people are just listing things that they don’t understand or like in general. I think this is a difficult question because I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a totally homogenous groups, whether it is a group of “normal” people or people diagnosed within the Autistic spectrum. We are all different, even if we share some traits. Same goes for so called “normal” people. But maybe there are things that are more common/uncommon within each group.
Things that I would list as confusing/unrelatable for me would be these:
Some things that I think are absurd are accepted by the majority as normal, sometimes I think it is just because that enough people accept it, or powerful enough people accept it and then others just follow unquestionably.
There is an acceptance of certain traits of mental problems but not others. It seems to me like that for instance psychopaths are let loose in society; they can manipulate and do what they want because they tend to be successful, whilst a group like ours is considered weak and bad because we are not so good at playing by the “official” rules. So this makes me think that following the “official” rules is the most important thing, it doesn’t matter as much if it is done with malicious intent. This makes me sad.
The acceptance and rationalization of bullying is something that makes me sick to my stomach. I cringe every time I hear “children will be children” or “they were just joking around”. How can such dangerous and destroying behavior ever be accepted?
31 Mar 2015, 3:05 am
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
SIDWULF wrote:
I don't understand how peepol can be a "fan" of other peepol or have idols...
I dont understand how peepol can like reeding fiction.
I don't understand how peepol can enjoy movies with lots of dialog.
I don't understand y peepol heyt each other.
I don't understand how peepol can be interested in so many things
I don't understand y peepol play leeg of legends or world of Warcraft cuz they look visualee like gayms for children.
I don't understand why peepol arownd my age (27) like music from a diferent generation (the beetuls, pink Floyd, matelica, xcetera)
I dont understand how peepol can like reeding fiction.
I don't understand how peepol can enjoy movies with lots of dialog.
I don't understand y peepol heyt each other.
I don't understand how peepol can be interested in so many things
I don't understand y peepol play leeg of legends or world of Warcraft cuz they look visualee like gayms for children.
I don't understand why peepol arownd my age (27) like music from a diferent generation (the beetuls, pink Floyd, matelica, xcetera)
I'm sensing heavy amounts of sarcasm... what kind of point are you trying to make?
I don't understand why the inglish langwidg has such atrosish spelling. I am starting a revolution and speling evry wurd xactly how it sownds. f*k ilogical speling.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
Last edited by SIDWULF on 31 Mar 2015, 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
31 Mar 2015, 3:12 am
Bondkatten wrote:
When reading this thread I got the feeling that a lot of people are just listing things that they don’t understand or like in general. I think this is a difficult question because I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a totally homogenous groups, whether it is a group of “normal” people or people diagnosed within the Autistic spectrum. We are all different, even if we share some traits. Same goes for so called “normal” people. But maybe there are things that are more common/uncommon within each group.
Things that I would list as confusing/unrelatable for me would be these:
Some things that I think are absurd are accepted by the majority as normal, sometimes I think it is just because that enough people accept it, or powerful enough people accept it and then others just follow unquestionably.
There is an acceptance of certain traits of mental problems but not others. It seems to me like that for instance psychopaths are let loose in society; they can manipulate and do what they want because they tend to be successful, whilst a group like ours is considered weak and bad because we are not so good at playing by the “official” rules. So this makes me think that following the “official” rules is the most important thing, it doesn’t matter as much if it is done with malicious intent. This makes me sad.
The acceptance and rationalization of bullying is something that makes me sick to my stomach. I cringe every time I hear “children will be children” or “they were just joking around”. How can such dangerous and destroying behavior ever be accepted?
Things that I would list as confusing/unrelatable for me would be these:
Some things that I think are absurd are accepted by the majority as normal, sometimes I think it is just because that enough people accept it, or powerful enough people accept it and then others just follow unquestionably.
There is an acceptance of certain traits of mental problems but not others. It seems to me like that for instance psychopaths are let loose in society; they can manipulate and do what they want because they tend to be successful, whilst a group like ours is considered weak and bad because we are not so good at playing by the “official” rules. So this makes me think that following the “official” rules is the most important thing, it doesn’t matter as much if it is done with malicious intent. This makes me sad.
The acceptance and rationalization of bullying is something that makes me sick to my stomach. I cringe every time I hear “children will be children” or “they were just joking around”. How can such dangerous and destroying behavior ever be accepted?
A lot of what I don't understand is directly related to my simtums. Such as not relating to people, having nearow intrests, Lacking in pretend play, logical mindset...xcetera
31 Mar 2015, 7:04 am
SIDWULF wrote:
I don't understand why the inglish langwidg has such atrosish spelling. I am starting a revolution and speling evry wurd xactly how it sownds. f*k ilogical speling.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
My NT partner says exactly the same thing; why are there silent letters in anything? Why do combinations of letters sound like one thing in one word and another thing in another word? Why does 'o' sometimes have a short 'e' sound? Why do we have words that sound the same but are spelled different? Why do we have words that sound different but are spelled the same?
And I sort of agree, English spelling can be confusing. Much of the reason is because the English language was cobbled together from so many different other languages; we have words with Latin origins, Greek origins, French origins, etc., and they all have different spelling rules. There were many varied accepted spellings of words until Samuel Johnson in England and, later, Noah Webster in America, published dictionaries that everyone began following. The dictionary was basically the first spelling authority; before that, whatever got the point across worked just fine. But the dictionary writers more or less chose 'correct' spelling arbitrarily, picking and choosing whatever they wanted or preferred, which led to many contradictions.
If this topic interests you, you can read more about it in this article: history of English spelling
_________________
You don't need to hide, my friend, for I am just like you.
31 Mar 2015, 3:36 pm
SIDWULF wrote:
I don't understand why the inglish langwidg has such atrosish spelling. I am starting a revolution and speling evry wurd xactly how it sownds. f*k ilogical speling.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
I agre, speling iz so cunfewzing! I think we shud al jist spel evrething fonetikle frum now on. Gud luk with yor revalushun!
31 Mar 2015, 3:49 pm
TheAP wrote:
SIDWULF wrote:
I don't understand why the inglish langwidg has such atrosish spelling. I am starting a revolution and speling evry wurd xactly how it sownds. f*k ilogical speling.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
Yes I am very seareeus. Downt laf.
I agre, speling iz so cunfewzing! I think we shud al jist spel evrething fonetikle frum now on. Gud luk with yor revalushun!
lol, viva le revalushun!
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