Having thoughts that aren't mine but aren't someone elses?

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Basically I feel like my brain is malfunctioning....I dunno if it is too much trama to the head (have had many concussions though most not documented on a piece of paper), schizophrenia, PTSD or what.....it is driving me crazy it gets in the way of me doing things because I can't think with these thoughts that sound as if my own but are not. I am not thinking that at the time, I'm thinking hey lets do this or that but then these thoughts come out of left field and just start yelling at me insults and saying to kill myself etc. I am on disability....got it the first time for some reason. I do not know exactly their reasoning, I told them what I had been documented with in the past over my lifetime but my insurance was not cooperative and did not give them any of the documents that they needed so I went in and was evaluated by two people and I think they put me down as AVP or avoident personality disorder but I have no idea. Of course I am going to avoid answering personal questions to people I just met 2 seconds ago. I do have ADD...so that's probably why the drifting of topic. (no hyperactivity...can't stand hyper people)

3-4 years ago I had either a bad case of ptsd or OCD where I would be afraid to do anything because I would get a video in my mind of the worse possible thing happening if I were to do anything. Like if I wanted to mow the lawn I would get a pictured of the lawn mower going over my feet etc. Is this random negative thoughts that I am not consciously creating merely a diminished but continual response to what was happening in the past? Because those thoughts seem to have vanished after a long stint of high dose clonazepam for 2-3 years.

You might be better off seeking an opinion from a mental-health professional.

But I don't want any more labels....tired of labels. Not a can of soup...

Can you suggest a way in which I might do so without adding to the can of soup?

You should get a diagnosis.

Nevertheless, your experience sounds like a self-disorder listed in the Examination of Anomalous Self-Experience, which was published in 2005 in the psychiatric peer-reviewed journal Psychopathology:

http://www.nordlandssykehuset.no/getfil ... r/EASE.pdf

The self-disorder in question is "Loss of Thought Ipseity" (Gedankenenteignung), which is item 1.2. It is described thus:

While you may think that a diagnosis is just a label, it's sort of needed for any kind of medical treatment. If you suspected had diabetes would you avoid going to the doctor for confirmation because you would be "labeled" diabetic? It's diagnosis, not a label. It's only on your medical records and medical personell need it to give you proper treatment.

If the thoughts are inside your head and in your mind, then they are your thoughts whether you agree with them or not. They could be from your subconscious, but if it's in your head, it's your thoughts.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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They may originate from his mind but not consciously so they seem detatched and intrusive but none the less originate from him i understand as i suffer the same way tell a mental health professional i have never been able to stop it only distract myself as much as i can check out harm ocd.....

I sometimes get those thoughts as you describe with the lawnmower. Not that exact situation but things like it. I think maybe it is some sort of OCD thing. Living inside the head too much. Maybe I'll get this thought that if I don't move a muscle no one will get hurt. Sometimes I am afraid that I will hurt someone when there is really no clear evidence to support this. I haven't hurt anyone in my life. Sometimes I worry that I have been brainwashed or that people are trying to hurt me, s**t like that. It's the sign of a brain that is working too hard on things that maybe aren't that relevant.

Get some fresh air. Do some jumping jacks.

Sometimes I get those intrusive thoughts as well. Not too often but sometimes. It's like all of a sudden I will get the thought "what a loser" or something like that. When I am really bad these thoughts manifest as voices outside the head but this is rather rare.

Sometimes, the brain just needs to relax and calm down.

First, you don't need to be afraid of a diagnosis, it's not going to change what's there or who you are. We are complex creatures, and disorders don't define us, we just live with them. The diagnosis is just a name to try and help closely understand what's going on.

I'd recommend going to a professional, as I don't really know what's going on, but I can tell you I've had intrusive thoughts before. They're not intense, or auditory, but they're there saying the last thing I want them to say. Like when I was in 5th grade I had my first black teacher, and my brain kept thinking racist thoughts I wasn't thinking myself, but no one was making me think either, and since then, sometimes it'd just pop up that the worst thing I could think of would just pop up in my head. If it's like that, the best thing to do is realize that the thoughts aren't yours, and don't reflect who you are. My meditation teacher in high school once told me to think of those thoughts like the tide, and me as a person standing in the water. The thoughts will come, and running from them won't work and only stress me out more, and going in deeper only makes it worse obviously, so the best thing is to just stand, let them come, and they'll calm down and be less present and painful in time. You focus too much on them by running from or obsessing over them, they get more powerful.

Now, if these make actual sounds, or feel like someone in your head is talking to you, that is some sort of hallucination most likely, which it's best to consult with a medical professional on, as I've never really had hallucinations before. I hope that's helpful to you.

To be honest (and i am not a health professional but i have read a fair amount on the subject of mental health).

I would say that the lawnmower thing was a worry, or catastrophizing which can be part of an anxiety disorder.

The voices or intrusive thoughts that tell you to kill yourself, could be a symptom of schizophrenia or it could be a symptom of an anxiety disorder, or simply just an intrusive thought.

I think it depends on the frequency of these problems that determine the diagnosis.
For example, someone can have one episode of audible or visual hallucinations, perhaps during a very stressful time, and then the problem may go away completely, never to return, In such a case the diagnosis for schizophrenia should not be made.

If the phenomena was regular, then this is a different deal.

Intrusive thoughts by the way apparently happen to everyone, and in Buddhist terms they call this mind chatter.
So if you have thoughts that you think aren't your own, then this may not necessarily mean that you are psychotic.
In some cases it is simple we become aware that those thoughts are a little strange.

I think having anxiety increases the frequency of intrusive thoughts with some anxiety disorders also
causing them to be more disturbing than benign thoughts. But not all is necessarily the end of the world.

Doctors and Psychiatrists have a number of ways of treating all these conditions to a fair amount of success.
Hope that helps