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hvtitan08
Deinonychus
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24 Feb 2015, 4:27 pm

Throughout my past, I have said and done some of the most harshest and inappropriate things that turned women off and away from me. I never had a female friend throughout my whole school years, and I haven't yet been able to get out and about to resocialize and get to know some female better in order to be their friend.
In 10th grade, it cost me a ex-gf from 1st grade from being a friend after threatening to rape her, as well as lying about a false dream I never had about her and I in 11th grade.
I messed up 2 friendships - one with a black girl in 2010, and one with a white girl at the beginning of 2013 - which obviously ended in total disasters, which could've led to relationships with one of them.
Also in 10th grade, I pretended I was fixing a bayonet to a rifle, and charged at a female senior that was interested in working with me in helping me with my math.
What must I do in order to reachieve my goal in building my relationships with women? :(


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Emu Egg
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24 Feb 2015, 7:41 pm

First, forgive yourself for past social mistakes. You are aware now of the psychological harm in threatening to rape someone. You are on your way to learning how to think before you speak or act in poor judgment.

Second, call us women or girls. 'Females' sounds strange and will be a mark against you. You will scare people off with that, unless you're joking around.

It looks like you know what was wrong behavior, so all you need to do now is step up your tact game.



Bomir
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25 Feb 2015, 11:52 am

I actually have a similar problem and I can give you some context of why at the very least it happens to me and what I do for the few female friends that I do have. I have been told by women that I am incredibly emotionally invalidating because when they feel strongly about something I ask why. Women I find often feel first and MAYBE think second. However, a lot of time they just act off feeling. Now since I have great difficulty with empathy I ask why they feel how they do and they just can't explain it. Usually the feeling will be totally illogical even if they can explain it and by having this realization they think you're a dick. I know, it doesn't make any sense at all from an objective perspective. What makes it worse is society is big on empowering women to be erratically emotional without consequence and from this stems a huge sense of entitlement in them. They aren't normally questioned and forced to be self-reflexive and due to society being on their side in this, you will always come out the loser. You can't win this in the current social paradigm.

What I find is that I get along really well with women who appreciate critical thought. Usually they are well educated and very moderate in their views on life and society. I find that women that are very liberal or very conservative are very emotionally driven as they tend to let emotion spur them on in how they view the world. They also have the ability to self-identify when they are emotionally "on tilt" as it were and will let you know they are and feel bad about it. Because it's a hormonal thing they often have little to no control over their emotional experience but to me at least when they're open about it I'm much more considerate and forgiving. These women are rare but if you find one keep her close. At 32 years old I'd say I've probably found 5 in my journeys through life and I treasure all of their friendships.



Browncoat
Deinonychus
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25 Feb 2015, 9:53 pm

Aside from a few physiological differences, there really isn't any difference between men and women. Granted, the sociological norms perpetrated by media diverge a bit, but when that mindset is disregarded as the falsehood it is, the differences (aside from the aforementioned physiological) essentially vanish. Men and women are capable of having interests in any field of study, any type of hobby, etc. Any differences between a male friend and a female friend will stem from differences in personality, not gender. Such has been my experience


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Who_Am_I
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28 Feb 2015, 2:40 am

I remember you.
Without even reading your post, my advice is: stop calling them sluts and whores, b*****s hate that.


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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
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Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


hmk66
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28 Feb 2015, 6:23 am

Browncoat,

If you talk about intelligence and interests in topic, there is not much difference between men and women. On the social area the difference becomes more noticeable. In dating and sexuality there is a lot of difference actually between men and women, but men are not less than women, nor vice versa. They are just different, not less of value. Women look at men differently from how men look at women. Men think that women think the same about men, as men think about women, but these men are wrong. That is not true. A sexy woman is different from a sexy man, and it is not just the gender.

Many women still think that a man should approach a woman, not the other way around. If a man does not approach a woman, most women think that he is not interested, but he can well be shy. Shyness is something that most women seem not to be familiar with, at least in the dating scene. In other areas shyness for women is as tedious as it is for men.

This difference can also be seen in swing clubs and in prostitution.



Mrs catlady
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28 Feb 2015, 7:04 am

I am a female and although I am not a typical female I am sure most females and males for that matter don't like being threatened with rape or charged at with a bayonet. But you know that now already. Be honest with yourself about what it is that you most want from a relationship at the moment. Meanwhile practice good manners and good hygiene and grooming and get to know people through activities you enjoy. Some folks on both sides of the spectrum find online dating agencies a way to go if they dislike the usual dating game. There i someone out there for everyone so don't worry too much. Remember that datinh and relationships can be a bit of a minefield and theres every possibility of meeting someone who likes you just tje way you are.



Orangez
Deinonychus
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28 Feb 2015, 4:24 pm

Female brains tend to be wired more for social skill as they where the ones that had to deal with children and issues around them. As a person with autism you have a certain social blindness, therefore, you have a harder time to keep a friendship with females as you are far behind them in the social game as you actively think about the game while it comes natural to females.



Browncoat
Deinonychus
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28 Feb 2015, 4:54 pm

hmk66 wrote:
Browncoat,

If you talk about intelligence and interests in topic, there is not much difference between men and women. On the social area the difference becomes more noticeable. In dating and sexuality there is a lot of difference actually between men and women, but men are not less than women, nor vice versa. They are just different, not less of value. Women look at men differently from how men look at women. Men think that women think the same about men, as men think about women, but these men are wrong. That is not true. A sexy woman is different from a sexy man, and it is not just the gender.

Many women still think that a man should approach a woman, not the other way around. If a man does not approach a woman, most women think that he is not interested, but he can well be shy. Shyness is something that most women seem not to be familiar with, at least in the dating scene. In other areas shyness for women is as tedious as it is for men.

This difference can also be seen in swing clubs and in prostitution.


Actually, this falls under the category of sociological norms. A situation I encourage people to think of as outdated. Women do not need to pretend to be shy or submissive. Men do not need to act dominant and assertive. Society has thrust those roles upon people. We don't need to follow them. Frankly, acting against your own nature to fit in to society is virtually guaranteed to result in unhappiness (those of us on the spectrum know this better than most).


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