My therapist doesn't think I should come out to family.
I've talked to my doctor about being bisexual as well as on WP and both have said that I'm probably better of leaving it as "a part of my new adult identity" and not coming out to my homophobic/biphobic family. So, I'm thinking that WP and Tumblr will continue to be the only places where I am out and open.
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Diagnosed with Aspergers, ADHD, Bipolar Type II, OCD, and generalized anxiety.
goldfish21
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And that's perfectly OK if that's what works for you.
I do recommend having some gay/bi friends in your life that you can be comfortably out with. Having gay friends in my life before coming out to family was pretty valuable to me. Although, my immediate family is not homophobic.
I do have a younger cousin who is a lesbian and lives with homophobic relatives. I visit her sometimes & I think it's healthy for her to be able to be open about her sexuality with me. Just simple little comments and jokes and such that she can't say in front of her guardians. She knows I'm gay, too, so makes comments/jokes about that, too, which I also think is good for both her and I.
But even if your only "out" outlets are WP and Tumblr for now, that's OK too if it's what works for you. It's just been my own personal experience that having a gay guy as my closest friend, and some other gay people in my life, has been tremendously valuable.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
I agree with your therapist. Mine is constantly at me about doing the whole "coming out" thing (which I don't agree with) to my homophobic, transphobic family, when to them, I would qualify as both. Why do that to them, or to myself, is my question, when "coming out" would benefit no one and only cause arguments and divisions?
As adults, its inappropriate for your family to know every aspect of our personal life. I prefer to keep this side of me private from them, in order to keep the peace.
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
Whether to come out or not depends on lots of factors such as how close you are with your family, how troublesome it would be for you to come out, how prevalent your bi-ness is in your life, etc. For me, I am gay all the way, and I couldn't take being in the closet anymore, so I had to come out to my very religious, very homophobic family for myself. It was rough for a lot of years, but I'm much happier having done it. But, my being gay is very pervasive in my life, especially now that I have a partner, which I did not have when I came out.
For example, for someone who is trans and seeking to make the transition, and who wants to see their family at any point in the future, it is impossible not to come out because your family is going to know you became a dude when they see you. Plus also, people talk, and you would not believe how talk can travel between people who seem to have no connection to each other.
But for someone who is bi, who isn't close with their family and/or isn't seeing anyone seriously, it may not be necessary to put themselves through the anguish. Coming out can be painful. A lot of people live 'out' in their everyday lives, and then in the closet for the once or twice a year they see their family.
I generally advocate that everyone should come out, but I am very biased for total honesty in all things. Life would be much simpler if everyone was honest all the time. But if only one person is honest, that can complicate things. It really has to be your own decision. I couldn't take lying anymore. I felt like I would die or kill myself or kill someone else if I had to be in the closet any longer. But I have a cousin who is bisexual, and he hasn't come out to the family (except me) because that works for him. He isn't seriously dating a guy, so there's no reason right now to tell anyone. He said that if he falls in love with a girl and marries her, there wouldn't be any need to ever tell his family he also likes guys. And if he falls in love with a guy, he can come out then.
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You don't need to hide, my friend, for I am just like you.
Moderator note: Inappropriate image removed by Skilpadde
Last edited by Skilpadde on 22 Apr 2015, 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.: Removing inappropriate image
Do you live with your parents or rely on them financially? If not, I'd just wait til you are moved out to tell them in case things get bad. A lot of gay teens and young adults are kicked out of their parents houses, disowned, beat up, etc. and that might be why your therapist is hesitant.
You know your family better than anybody else, if you think they will react positively then you should tell them.
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