Literal Thinking Topic

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All my life I have tried to teach myself social cues. I tried by trails when it was appropriate to say things at certain times. Most of the time I never try to hold back who I am because what is the point of that. People need to love me for who I am. But I went on a double date and we were playing Apples to Apples, constantly one of the other people kept making it obvious that I pick literally. That I am so literal. Well... for as many times as he said it, it just started to hurt really bad at the end of the night. I understand that sometimes I can be literal but he did not need to say it over and over and over. Apples to Apples you learn your audience and you play a card you think will be picked by who they are as a person.

Now I am sitting here trying to focus on my homework but I cannot stop thinking about literal thinking. I just don't know what to feel or think on this subject. I have been told it many times but not that often in one period of time that now it really hits hard. Like I try to be socially acceptable, but now I feel like a loser. It was so obvious that every time he said it the others would laugh. I don't find it very funny. I am who I am. The rest of the game I just played a card I wouldn't normally choose because being made fun of just made me feel horrible. I had to take a longer time to pick the card because I had to take what I would normally choose and then change my thoughts which started to wear and tear on me. I was pretty much socializing at that point.

So, this was a half rant because no one else understands this. But also, does anyone else have this problem? Had this problem? Any opinions on what to do next time this occurs?

I feel we can only fake being like others for so long. Or at least most of us, and I want to be accepted but I don't want to be made fun of.

-Catherine

I'm not good at picking up when someone is rude.....he sounds like he was at best a bit thoughtless, and failed to realize what he was doing was rude, at worst he is a bully who wanted to exclude you from the group. I wouldn't have known what to do either, and this has happened to me. It seems like nothing's wrong in the moment, because you're the one being weird when you understand things literally, but if you were color blind and he kept pointing out what you missed rather than helping, it wouldn't be funny. This isn't funny either.

Generally for me it's best to at least on the surface act as much as I can like I believe he's accidentally failing to realize what he does could be hurtful, or ask him to help, or use some humor; usually an attack on him for being rude wouldn't work well, especially as he may not have meant to be.

But I think you feel bad because he was mean to you, I don't think you screwed up.

Don't change who you are to please others. Just pick the cards you want to pick, and if someone makes fun of you, laugh and say, "That's just me." True friends will view your literalness as a lovable quirk.

TheAP is right: you can't go through life pretending to be someone you're not just to please the crowd or to 'fit in'. You obviously make a lot of effort to socialise and get on with people, so you're not at fault in any way. The person who made fun of you was boorish and insensitive, so you should ignore people like that - easier said than done, I know. We can tell who our true friends are in life: they're the ones who accept us for who we are, who tell us the truth and stick by us come what may.

You're fine as you are.

I definitely have this same problem. I simply cannot operate or tolerate fakeness and lies.. nor the social-layer/double meaning of words.