Diary of a non diagnosed 37 yr old man getting diagnosed
Well here now comes the s**t bit.
Last week I had my most serious crash, 3 days off sick lying in bed thinking of ways I could kill myself. It was really horrible , to be honest absolutely f*****g dreadful. So come the Thursday I'm put into a position where I go back to work or f**k it all off, I chose the former, I have a family so have a strong sense of the rules I suppose (support the family). During these 3 days I went to the docs and said I was on the edge of driving myself into a wall at 80mph (that would've done it) I said I wanted tablets for anxiety though as I felt exhausted from constantly worrying bad things will happen, what do people think of me. I wish I could just have a quiet mind, I would be so f*****g happy to just stop thinking. Anyway I got some low dosage anxiety tabs and have started taking those . Going back to work has helped, as I haven't had time to think, sometimes I wish I was on my own, I could then just become an alcoholic. Life would be simpler then.
Well there's my story so far ups and downs really. I even painted at the Tate Modern as part of a group thing, but hated what I done. Stupid isn't it, people would proberly sell their left testicle to do some thing like that . Anyway hopefully I'll get an appointment soon for this autism test. If I have another crash I'll go to the mental health unit, I'm sick of feeling like s**t every now and then, I'm constantly fighting with myself, I love being different, but society makes me feel like shut for not fitting in, bastards! I f*****g hate society
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
I was advised by a lovely person on this forum to read up on aspergers and think back to your childhood, writing down all the 'evidence' so you are prepared to explain to the doc. I am making a note now whenever something comes to memory and will present this notebook, in full glory in my terrible handwriting.
I hope your doc is clued up enough to try and find a specialist with autism in adults. I am hoping the same for myself. There is an essex based charity who can help, diagnosed or not: Autism anglia: http://www.autism-anglia.org.uk/
They spoke to me and i haven't even got my referral yet! Very nice understanding people, they will put your name down for a call from someone who can help with ..whatever you need help with, I presume. For me it's noise sensitivity and a heap of other things.
I wish you all the best, and good luck getting somewhere with the referral!
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
So I've now been on Citalopram for a good few months now and have been exercising every day for now 2 months and do feel great, I can't believe how good this hard exercise is, stopped drinking and started eating healthily. But I still feel damned awkward every time I mix with people, I hate society for that. Why must we be made to feel that we must have friends?
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
I'm ok for now and socialised a hell of a lot this weekend. Felt awkward, but I'm slowly getting used to it
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
Well it's been a year and a half wait, but finally I have an assessment this Thursday.
I've managed to deal with being made redundant and getting a new job the same day, I even managed to get another new job as I wasn't happy at the other one, just didn't feel comfortable with the atmosphere.
Started at a new place a few days back and feel much better, as it's like my old job I got made redundant from. Ah comfy!
Well I'll let you all know how I get on, looking forward to having this label as it will be closure for a number of things that plague my mind still from the things that happened to me as young as 7
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
Biscuitman
Veteran
Joined: 11 Mar 2013
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665
Location: Dunking jammy dodgers
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,468
Location: Long Island, New York
Congratulations on the new job. I hope the job and the assessment prove to be good for you.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 13 Mar 2017, 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Well after 5 hours of talking I'm exhausted but with a diagnosis of Autism.
Apparently I mask it well.
So onwards and upwards.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
Apparently I mask it well.
So onwards and upwards.
Sounds like a long journey. I started mine on Monday.
_________________
Dyslexia
Bipolar
Most likely Aspie.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 144 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 66 of 200
Apparently I mask it well.
So onwards and upwards.
Sounds like a long journey. I started mine on Monday.
Good luck, it's helped me just find closure and to stop constantly questioning why I don't fit
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172
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