help with romantic and sexual attraction?

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carbink
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 15 May 2015
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15 May 2015, 11:42 pm

ok, so i don't know whether to put this on this board or the mogai one....i'll just put it here since it seems to have to do more with love and dating.

i have a really hard time with romantic and sexual feelings. i've never experienced sexual attraction and have always been sex-repulsed (in fact, the first thing i did when i found out what sex is was google "what is it called when you don't want to have sex?) and thus identified myself as asexual.

however, romantic attraction has been a lot harder. i'm currently in a relationship (very complicated, girlfriend wants a polyamourous relationship bc i don't provide her with the physical relationship she wants) but idk if i'm actually romantically attracted to her or not....

i feel really drained whenever i spend time with people at school and i just don't get them very well, that applies to my girlfriend as well.

i don't think i've ever been romantically attracted to someone, but, then again, i don't know what that feels like. a lot of the stuff typically seen as "romantic" such as hand-holding, kissing, etc. makes me really uncomfortable and it's just not something i desire.

could i be aromantic as well as asexual or just ace or what? i'm super confused..... :?



Chronos
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Age: 44
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17 May 2015, 6:52 am

carbink wrote:
ok, so i don't know whether to put this on this board or the mogai one....i'll just put it here since it seems to have to do more with love and dating.

i have a really hard time with romantic and sexual feelings. i've never experienced sexual attraction and have always been sex-repulsed (in fact, the first thing i did when i found out what sex is was google "what is it called when you don't want to have sex?) and thus identified myself as asexual.

however, romantic attraction has been a lot harder. i'm currently in a relationship (very complicated, girlfriend wants a polyamourous relationship bc i don't provide her with the physical relationship she wants) but idk if i'm actually romantically attracted to her or not....

i feel really drained whenever i spend time with people at school and i just don't get them very well, that applies to my girlfriend as well.

i don't think i've ever been romantically attracted to someone, but, then again, i don't know what that feels like. a lot of the stuff typically seen as "romantic" such as hand-holding, kissing, etc. makes me really uncomfortable and it's just not something i desire.

could i be aromantic as well as asexual or just ace or what? i'm super confused..... :?


What you are is young....and possibly asexual to some degree.

Some people just take longer to develop these things than others. As for asexuality, not all asexual individuals are devoid of sexual or romantic feelings. In many individuals, these feelings are just blunted, or will only manifest in the presence of a person with the right combination of traits.

You also might consider requesting to see an endocrinologist. In some individuals, lack of such feelings and desires can indicate endocrine (hormonal) problems, which can, in turn, cause fertility problems.