Rants

Post Reply New Topic

Music, but I occasionally create visual art or act.

The discussion went fine, btw.

Yeah, I've been hearing a lot of negative reports coming out of the music industry of late. I think it's getting harder all round to make money, including for the artists. Power is getting decentralised. I think you're very brave to make that choice. Sometimes we just have to do what needs to be done. Got to put food on the table and everything, after all.

Sometimes i hate my parents for making me seem like a super smart person just because i had good grades at school. Because of this i couldn't understand my limits and expected more of myself than i could do. I hate trying to be someone i can't be, but i have no choice now.

Some posters names also serve as a trigger warning. I should know better.

This is an excellent point. I've had the same experience.

I'm sorry you felt the same pressure. I wish people would actually want their child to be happy, not successful..

I heard an NPR article about how parents in east Asia tend to praise their children by telling them, "You worked really hard." In the west, particularly the US, parents praise their kids by telling them, "You're so smart."

Ever since, I've fruitlessly wished that I had heard the first one rather than the second one. I'll be smart whether I actually achieve anything or not. Meanwhile, people who also admire my intellect have put in lots of hard work and gotten far ahead of me. It's a trap.

I hate feeling like I have to succeed at everything, big or small, by virtue of some innate quality. I wish I felt like hard work and struggle would get me results with any reliability at all. The facts don't seem to support that idea, but if I had it as an article of faith, then hope for my eventual success might carry me through more tough times. Having tough times while being somehow innately fit to avoid them just depresses me.

It's not as though being smart has only benefits. People with a high need for cognition tend to score lower on measures of happiness.

To be fair to myself, a lack of understanding of my social perception and need to balance solitude and interaction hindered my development for decades. Learning about autism in the past seven years has made it possible for me to persist longer at things without getting burnout. I want to get as skillful at that as possible, and really test this idea that hard work and persistence will pay off.

Maybe a life skills proof by induction will work. I can prove that hard work pays off in one easy base example. Then I can assume that n amount of hard work will pay off at f(n), and try to prove that n+1 hard work pays off more, such that f(n+1)>f(n).

That's interesting, i live in the middle east but people still seem to value intelligence a lot more than hard work here. I've also read an article about how praising children because of their hard work is better than praising them for their intelligence and it made a lot of sense to me. And i agree that those people score lower on happiness, since they feel like they have to always to be successful at everything, it creates a lot of pressure

What does it take for a person to deny that racism exists in the US? Do they only read Breitbart and watch FOX News? Maybe they just have a completely crap understanding of statistics? Or maybe they're just a racist piece of garbage that should get banned back to the s**thole they crawled out of?

Sooner or later, I'll find the right question to get them to say what they really think. Then, buh-bye. Until the racialist apologist on the mod staff lets them slime back in again. Nazi scum f**k off, and good night

AARP dude called me just after 8:15 am this morning. When I said, dude, it's not even 8:20 in the morning yet, his response was that he comes to work at 8, what time do I get up.
Ohhh, that bit of arrogance was exactly the wrong thing to say.
I did not respond pleasantly.
I just sent a letter on paper to AARP hq in Washington DC in which I said the following,

It's hard to remember my limits, but I forget them a lot... And if I pass any of them, my mind shuts down.

And it happens fairly easily...

Life of me is just juggling a bunch of bombs, and if I do one thing wrong it explodes.


Can understand why I couldn't handle "everything else" when I was younger.

It's a start! I try to work on it from both ends, by which I mean reducing stress and increasing stress tolerance. I find that I can go into a walking shutdown mode where I pay less attention and internalize my thoughts rather than speaking. I don't try to maintain that state for long, though. I just use it to get to a quiet place where I can relax and let my guard down for a minute to collect myself.

That way, I can learn to operate safely and get out of stressful situations, learn to unwind more quickly, and gradually build up my stress tolerance by exposure. It has worked for me, and I now shut down much less, and melt down in public hardly ever.

The other side, of generally reducing life stress, poses more complex challenges. I keep increasing the complexity of the challenges that I will take on, which tendency would naturally push me back to the edge (margin in economic terms) of my stress tolerance. My overall goal, I guess, is to keep getting happier and better-adjusted while gradually increasing the level of challenges at the same time.

For reference, B&W thinking can interfere with this kind of modulation, since it doesn't go on and off so much as sometimes on and sometimes off in ratios. I hope that makes sense. It's like trying to hit something with artillery. You can calculate a lot based on distance, wind speed, and other factors, but it often comes down to seeing where your first shot hits, and adjusting your aim based on that. Eventually, I may hit on either side of my target, but I keep getting closer with each adjustment. Thinking in strict either/or ways doesn't allow for the kind of delicate adjustments one needs to make that work.

Three econometricians (economic statisticians) went hunting together. They saw a pumpkin (why not?). The first econometrician fired, and missed by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, and missed by a meter to the right. The third econometrician jumped up and shouted, "We got it!"









Okay, so math based humor isn't for everyone. It's a joke about central tendencies, such as means and medians.

I don't like this feeling. I expect an important piece of mail, which is a necessary and sufficient condition for me to do several tasks, which will result in me having use of my car again. Just in time, too! It's started raining for days on end, already. I hear that will get worse until it becomes more or less uninterrupted in February.

I feel stuck, though, until I get it. It might arrive today, but I've felt stuck for several days, since before they even sent it! I'm also about to have real money problems for the first time in a while. I need to do these tasks, get in my car, and find another job or a supplemental job.

I can't stand being given ADVICE I NEVER ASKED FOR.

I have a new business. It's only in the early stages. Nothing big happens overnight. I'M aware of that but my f*****g so-called friends don't seem to be.

I have NEVER asked ANYONE I know for advice about this new business. NEEEVVVVERRRRRRRR.

I have only mentioned it as something I'm exited about. And lightly, casually promoted it. Given a card if someone asked for one.

I have NEVERRRRRRR said "Gee I need opinions."

I have NEVER said "Gee I need help."

I have not even COMPLAINED about anything. I've actually been pleased with how it's going and have not even given anyone any reason to believe I'm looking for their advice, suggestions or how to run my f*****g business.

And yet.....

EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG is suggesting stuff. And most of it happens to be REALLY BAD advice too.

One person using the same site as me actually gave me such bad advice, the opposite of what's even legal, that I can't help but think she was actually trying to sabotage me and she thought I'm STUPID.

Another friend keeps asking how things are going, and oddly enough since he started to ask, things have gone downhill. They were going just fine before I "disclosed" about my enterprise.

Why is it things always go well for me when I don't even tell anyone anything and just soldier on alone, but go badly once I let anyone in on something?

I know it's not rational but I feel like he's jinxing my enterprise. He also has no idea how hard I'm working yet he is pressuring me with "I tell you what you should do"




AAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHI NEVER ASKED!! !! !! I NEVER ASKED. I NEVER ASKED. I NEVER EFFFING ASKED. I'm doing what I WANT TO DO STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! !! !