My ex has a new girlfriend now.. it seems like

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My aspie ex-boyfriend and I broke up last December and still I would see him every two weeks until early March. He got really cold the last time I contacted him via phone and I realized that he doesn't have any feelings for me no more. Sad as I was, I tried to see other people and tried to self-hypnotize that I should also move on. This weekend, I realized that he may have a new girlfriend now. I thought I was getting better and was in the process of moving on yet I had a panic attack as soon as I knew what has happened. It's been 6 months since we broke up and with all the things he has said which hurt me a great deal, I am sad that I am still attached to him and have feelings for him. He has moved on and has a girlfriend ...I guess he can move on a lot easier than I do.

I am not sure why but for the past six months, I tried my best to learn about aspergers and the ways to reduce his anxiety. I would read books and research papers because I wanted to help him as much as possible since he gets anxious easily. All the learning I went through didn't go anywhere. I was never given a chance to tell him. He never asked me for that, but I really cared a great deal for him. I am sad that this information cannot be shared with him anymore.

I listened to a sermon the other day and they were saying that if I really love someone I should be happy for his/her happiness even if that is not for my own good. I really love him but I don't want to be "that crazy girlfriend," so I will try to be happy for his new happiness with the girl he is in a relationship with now.

I don't know why, but I had to write this because in real life I have no one to talk to about. I don't want to talk down on my ex boyfriend to my friends and his asperger is a secret so I was not able to have anyone who I could just talk and vent. Thanks for reading this. I

I'm sorry.


The sermon seems wise.

I understand what you are feeling. It can be tough to move on, especially when you have no one to share your feelings, or vent your frustrations with.

As far as the sermon goes, I agree with it up to a point, but I believe life is all about balance. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone else to be happy, but you shouldn't totally deprive yourself of your own happiness to do so.

Don't try to force yourself to be "happy for him". I assure you, you'll get over things a lot quicker if you just accept your feelings as they are instead of trying to pretend differently. Personally, I really enjoy stewing in my own frustrations for a bit before forcing myself to occupy my time with other things. Sounds like being happy for him shouldn't be the goal, but instead it being no big deal one way or the other should be (and that's a lot more realistic, too).

Hope you feel better about it all soon enough.