What is the secret to understanding women?
The_Face_of_Boo
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
I genuinely think that we all just need to spend more time together. We should not be scared to talk to each other.
It seems that too often when I'm out I see groups of guys hanging together and talking and groups of women hanging together talking, but they aren't interacting between sexes. We need to stop treating each other like aliens.
Women seem to be encouraged by older women to play games and that's not right. It's our culture that's messed up, it's not neccessarily that we are so totally different that we are not able to understand one another.
As a women I would say that all I'm looking for is a man that I can feel comfortable talking to and someone who takes an interest in me. Like the guy I've just given up on is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, but he's just not interested in spending time with me. I've tried to include him in my life, I've initiated conversations, I've started Facebook conversations with him, but he's just never bothered to try and bridge the gap himself, so I'd say if you're interested in someone, just make the effort to spend some time with her and listen to her.
There's no lack of spending time together, there are many groups of both genders who hang out there; but when both genders are present, there always seem to be red lines....taboos that are not to be talked about in the presence of the other gender, especially when it comes to sexual stuff.
ie. She in a group of guys and girls: "So yeah...the other night I felt horny, so I masturbated a lot and now it feels sore".
Nope, that rarely exists.
I have always found that the following approach works quite well with women - AAA.
Attention. Listen when she is talking to you. Make a note of something she likes or desires as this may prove very useful for birthday's, valentines or xmas etc. Pay attention to her likes and dislikes, keep a note in a book if necessary, things that you can do without being asked can be very important. Communicate honestly with each other, switch off the TV, Computer, PS/XBox etc. sit and communicate attentively about your hopes, fears, dreams... whatever.
Affection. Try and show the level of affection you are capable of; I appreciate this isn't always easy for some, but try. Don't rush in at 100 miles an hour, but honesty is something we are pretty good at as a stereotype, so be honest with her. Tell her if you like her, tell her what you like about her, but don't smother her (both emotionally and actually - that is a no-no!) If she likes having her hand held, and you will know this through paying attention, then don't be self-conscious just do it. If that is impossible for you, tell her, she will hopefully understand and appreciate the honesty; then try and work out a way of showing affection that you both are comfortable with.
Appreciation. Appreciate her for who she is, what she does and for how she makes you feel. If she makes you feel bad, then leave. Better to be alone than made to feel like crap for being yourself. If you make her feel bad through lack of appreciation then I would support her leaving you! Appreciate the hard work she does, appreciate the little things she does; you may not think they are important but they can be, they can be very important. Appreciate her right to be treated with respect for who she is, just as you would like to be yourself.
I appreciate this sounds like a lot of work, and in some respects I guess it is, but when you find the right person, it really isn't and you can negotiate a mutually satisfying and positive relationship.
It is something of an 'old chestnut' isn't it, "What do women want?" I hope the above is a useful small contribution to the debate.
Strange thing though, I have often thought that many men would like that from a woman too (or indeed any variation of gender couplings)! I'd certainly think many people on the spectrum would like a partner who treated them like that. Maybe I'm on to something here.......
Girls are like Pokemon.
There's so many kinds of grils.
We have cute ones like Togepi, mean ones like Gyrados, and if we're unlucky we bump into a Snorlax or Gastly. Adorable ones who absolutely hate ballz like Pikachu, boring ones like Jigglypuff who make us fall asleep, and if we're lucky we can find ones that we can ride like Lapras.
Have you ever met a Caterpie girl who you can't seem to shake off and is clinging on to you? And then 3 years later, they turn into a Butterfree. And they're beautiful and you want them but they don't want you anymore and you feel bad. On the other hand, you've met some oddishes who have turned into Gloom later in their life.
In the end, every guy just wants one thing. A mew.
But I am unique and special, my mom even told me. I can be president some day.
It is not human nature. It is science. No two humans are genetically identical. I didn't say anything about special, but each individual is definitely unique and different.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
But I am unique and special, my mom even told me. I can be president some day.
It is not human nature. It is science. No two humans are genetically identical. I didn't say anything about special, but each individual is definitely unique and different.
You forget the fact that we are all 99.9% genetically identical; and of course humans of the same gender are more genetically identical.
It's nice to focus on the 0.1% but don't forget the 99.9%.
mr_bigmouth_502
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Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 30
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Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
I just want to clarify something, I'm not trying to date or meet any women at this time, though there is this one girl I met back in high school who still Facebook messages me every so often... It's complicated... Anyway, this isn't about her or anyone in particular, this is about women in general.
It is often joked that men don't understand women, but I think there is actually some truth to this idea. I mean, we're all human, and thus equal, but it's like men and women are two different species in a lot of ways. It also just so happens that women tend to be more complex, to the point that even some women have trouble understanding other women. Complexity isn't bad, it's just... complex.
But I am unique and special, my mom even told me. I can be president some day.
It is not human nature. It is science. No two humans are genetically identical. I didn't say anything about special, but each individual is definitely unique and different.
You forget the fact that we are all 99.9% genetically identical; and of course humans of the same gender are more genetically identical.
It's nice to focus on the 0.1% but don't forget the 99.9%.
I did not forget any facts. I did not say that it was nice or special or anything like that. I said different. That is all. We are all different. None of us are the same. That is it. All women are not the same. Sorry. They just are not. If something is different, it is different. Even if that difference is very little. It is still different. Everyone is their own individual, different, unique, person.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
But I am unique and special, my mom even told me. I can be president some day.
It is not human nature. It is science. No two humans are genetically identical. I didn't say anything about special, but each individual is definitely unique and different.
You forget the fact that we are all 99.9% genetically identical; and of course humans of the same gender are more genetically identical.
It's nice to focus on the 0.1% but don't forget the 99.9%.
I did not forget any facts. I did not say that it was nice or special or anything like that. I said different. That is all. We are all different. None of us are the same. That is it. All women are not the same. Sorry. They just are not. If something is different, it is different. Even if that difference is very little. It is still different. Everyone is their own individual, different, unique, person.
Very very very little different genetically.
And women generally are more bound to cultural influences and cultural norms (hence why women are more religious and more practicing) - so you end up having almost-clone-minded within the same community.
Ban-Dodger
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Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Age: 1026
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Posts: 1,820
Location: Возможно в будущее к Россию идти... можеть быть...
This...
Yes, this, because... this...^
Otherwise « becoming psychic » may help with understanding women better...
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