Dating is harder for Aspie guys because...

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rdos
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28 Jun 2015, 4:49 am

sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.


Not true. I've had a much younger (pretty attractive) woman show interest in me without knowing ANYTHING about me. I've also flirted with much younger women, and some do reciprocate.

Also, on my experimental OkC account, I announced that I primarily was interested in younger women, and I regularly get matches from women in their 20s and 30s that have my age in their preferred age range. These women don't have extreme requirements.


and you have a good job no? I somehow doubt you're a homeless min wage worker.


I do have a good job, but the woman I talked about above had no idea. She knew nothing about me. That's the point. On OkC, I haven't uploaded a photo, and I say nothing about my work.

So if you have no job, or a low-paying job, why would you want a woman you are interested in to know that? Doesn't seem overly smart to tell her that. If you aren't doing dating, there is no reason to have that discussion, which is another reason not to do typical dating.

sly279 wrote:
if some times a pig flies, does that mean all pigs can fly? with anything there are things that happen rarely that doesnt mean it'll happen to everyone. people win the lottery too I hear, but most people don't.


The neurodiverse relationship behavior isn't a lottery. It's highly consistent in structure and form, and everybody that has it innate can learn to use it instead of trying to copy NTs.



rdos
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28 Jun 2015, 4:57 am

sly279 wrote:
oh yea, I hear eastern european women are less superficial. but perhaps being a poor nation with little wealth will do that. where as the more wealth and technology access here has ruined us.


I don't find that really accurate. Many Eastern European countries today are not really poor. The different attitudes there (and also in Russia) has other reasons.

Besides, Sweden is not in Eastern Europe. I think we are at a similar level as the US. Most of our women are just as superficial as the US women, I'm sure. :wink:

sly279 wrote:
it brings out further the human greed and self centeredness. shame I am not wealthy enough to travel there to find a gf then bring her back but then you worry about if shes just doing it to get to the us.


That's probably a bad idea.



Ban-Dodger
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28 Jun 2015, 5:23 am

Okay, like, I think I need to fix some of your posts with what you seem to be meaning to say.

sly279 wrote:
It's genetics

Now sit back & watch as all of the pretty young girls start flocking to me again for coming up with something so silly... :wink:


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Venger
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28 Jun 2015, 7:03 am

rdos wrote:
Besides, Sweden is not in Eastern Europe. I think we are at a similar level as the US. Most of our women are just as superficial as the US women, I'm sure. :wink:



:roll:
Except they probably don't assume that most guys are creeps-by-default, until they prove otherwise. Or at least nowhere close to the extent that it happens in this country. That's the main thing that separates the U.S. from the rest of the world on this issue.

Then of course there's other factors, such as being in the world's arguably most powerful country for example. That's bound to make a lot of people here act very conceited.



sly279
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28 Jun 2015, 2:59 pm

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.


Not true. I've had a much younger (pretty attractive) woman show interest in me without knowing ANYTHING about me. I've also flirted with much younger women, and some do reciprocate.

Also, on my experimental OkC account, I announced that I primarily was interested in younger women, and I regularly get matches from women in their 20s and 30s that have my age in their preferred age range. These women don't have extreme requirements.


and you have a good job no? I somehow doubt you're a homeless min wage worker.


I do have a good job, but the woman I talked about above had no idea. She knew nothing about me. That's the point. On OkC, I haven't uploaded a photo, and I say nothing about my work.

So if you have no job, or a low-paying job, why would you want a woman you are interested in to know that? Doesn't seem overly smart to tell her that. If you aren't doing dating, there is no reason to have that discussion, which is another reason not to do typical dating.

sly279 wrote:
if some times a pig flies, does that mean all pigs can fly? with anything there are things that happen rarely that doesnt mean it'll happen to everyone. people win the lottery too I hear, but most people don't.


The neurodiverse relationship behavior isn't a lottery. It's highly consistent in structure and form, and everybody that has it innate can learn to use it instead of trying to copy NTs.


they ask within the first 3 messages what job you have. besides they put it on their profile so why waste their time. why get a feeling of connection just to be rejected. I have it listed as other and not saying for money on my profile.

neurodiverse women want the same kind of man nt women do. neurodiverse people aren't a different species we aren't better then nts. you talk like were gods or something. at-least nts are more polite about it then neurodiverse women were.

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
oh yea, I hear eastern european women are less superficial. but perhaps being a poor nation with little wealth will do that. where as the more wealth and technology access here has ruined us.


I don't find that really accurate. Many Eastern European countries today are not really poor. The different attitudes there (and also in Russia) has other reasons.

Besides, Sweden is not in Eastern Europe. I think we are at a similar level as the US. Most of our women are just as superficial as the US women, I'm sure. :wink:

sly279 wrote:
it brings out further the human greed and self centeredness. shame I am not wealthy enough to travel there to find a gf then bring her back but then you worry about if shes just doing it to get to the us.


That's probably a bad idea.



wasn't talking about Sweden. that's a Scandinavian nation. they're quite different from Europe I hear.

poorer then western Europe. compare Ukraine to France. its quite a difference.



314pe
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29 Jun 2015, 1:45 am

sly279 wrote:
oh yea, I hear eastern european women are less superficial. but perhaps being a poor nation with little wealth will do that. where as the more wealth and technology access here has ruined us. it brings out further the human greed and self centeredness. shame I am not wealthy enough to travel there to find a gf then bring her back but then you worry about if shes just doing it to get to the us.

In my non-NT group (depression, social anxiety, aspergers) guys hardly get any dates at all. I do get a few, but I also have the best job and education in my group. If you were wealthy, you would have a great time dating here.



rdos
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29 Jun 2015, 4:30 am

sly279 wrote:
they ask within the first 3 messages what job you have.


I don't start relationships with texting. Wouldn't even think about trying that. Thus, they cannot ask me that question.

sly279 wrote:
besides they put it on their profile so why waste their time. why get a feeling of connection just to be rejected. I have it listed as other and not saying for money on my profile.


On OkC, I'm listed as "science/engineering". I also selected my income, but IRL, I'd never give out any of this to somebody I was interested in. My OkC account is only an experiment. I'm not using it for real dating. I also have selected "non-monogamous", and excluded short-term dating.

sly279 wrote:
neurodiverse women want the same kind of man nt women do. neurodiverse people aren't a different species we aren't better then nts. you talk like were gods or something. at-least nts are more polite about it then neurodiverse women were.


I don't think so.



WantToHaveALife
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29 Jun 2015, 2:33 pm

Because guys are still expected to make the first move, approach and ask out first, be the initiator.



yellowtamarin
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29 Jun 2015, 9:03 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Because guys are still expected to make the first move, approach and ask out first, be the initiator.

If that were entirely true, I'd say dating would also be hard for females, who are powerless to get anything initiated. They'd have to hope the guy they liked made a move on them, and if not (e.g. if the guy was were too shy or unsure), tough luck for that female!



kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2015, 9:22 pm

I don't see anything wrong with the guys being the initiator. It just seems natural, somehow.



yellowtamarin
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29 Jun 2015, 9:38 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't see anything wrong with the guys being the initiator. It just seems natural, somehow.

I'd have missed out on opportunities if I just waited around for a guy to initiate. I don't have guys approaching me all the time like some people seem to suggest happens to most women. It doesn't feel natural at all to me to miss out on wonderful experiences in life just because, as a female, I'm not supposed to be the initiator. Plus, lesbian relationships couldn't possibly exist if this "natural rule" was in place across the board.



kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2015, 11:17 pm

LOL....I never said there's anything WRONG with a lady being the initiator.

I was only asked out by a woman once in my life. I was 17, and she turned out to be too crazy for me.



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29 Jun 2015, 11:35 pm

Whou hou ! Lesbian-Relationships ! :D

yellowtamarin wrote:
Plus, lesbian relationships couldn't possibly exist if this "natural rule" was in place across the board.


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30 Jun 2015, 1:01 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
I don't have guys approaching me all the time like some people seem to suggest happens to most women.


I've seen mostly women, not suggesting it happens, but complaining how much it does.

I know harassment is a real problem and don't want to make light of it, but it's hard to relate to those complaints from a male and inexperienced point of view, let alone if you add aspie to the mix, because it reads to us, "I know I'm so exquisitely desirable to you, and it irks me because a disgusting and worthless thing like you should be very aware you have no business approaching me in a million years".


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314pe
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30 Jun 2015, 1:48 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Because guys are still expected to make the first move, approach and ask out first, be the initiator.

It wouldn't be such a big deal if those moves wouldn't result in a rejection every single time.



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30 Jun 2015, 5:31 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Because guys are still expected to make the first move, approach and ask out first, be the initiator.


not fair for many guys, oh wait, I forgot, life is not meant to be fair