Have you ever obsessed over a girl/boyfriend?
Has anyone done this? How did your relationship go on from there? My girlfriend accepts that there may be a possibility I'll obsess over her and is ok with it since she is also an aspie but I still worry that perhaps I'm obsessed with her instead of loving her? Has anyone got any experience?
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~Pixie~
Most of the times I was obsessed with a girl, it didn't end with a real relationship, but the one that did, worked just fine.
These obsessions are the ultimate form of love. Much more sincere than words only could be. It's easy to lie and tell somebody you love them, but much harder to obsess over them if you don't (I'd say it is even impossible to do so).
I thought the very purpose of boyfriends and girlfriends was to obsess over them.
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nick007
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I was obsessed with my 1st two girlfriends & I screwed both relationships up by getting controlling due to my obsessiveness & anxiety attacks. I did love em both but my obsession was partly due to OCD & Aspie special interest. I started a med for OCD after I screwed my 2nd relationship up & I did not have that problem in my 3rd/current relationship.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Most of the times I was obsessed with a girl, it didn't end with a real relationship, but the one that did, worked just fine.
lol, that's cause to get a GF the guy usually has to pretend like he doesn't care about getting one for the most part.(i.e. appear to be the opposite of "obsessing")
Beeing obsessed and getting controlling doesn't need to be related. Those are different things. OTOH, if obsession with somebody leads you to becoming controlling, then it's a bad thing, and you might need to work on your behavior. I never had that problem, and I'm not the type that is controlling, so I really love to obsess about girls, and it is no problem for me.
Most of the times I was obsessed with a girl, it didn't end with a real relationship, but the one that did, worked just fine.
lol, that's cause to get a GF the guy usually has to pretend like he doesn't care about getting one for the most part.(i.e. appear to be the opposite of "obsessing")
That's how many NTs are, yes, but because this is a NT-trait, it's a good way to select-out NTs.
Most of my early obsessions that didn't lead to real relationships were in my school-years, when I didn't dare to talk to anybody except family. These didn't advance because of that, and not because I was obsessed. The girls seemed pretty fascinated by the whole thing.
I mostly obsessed over only one boyfriend, my first was too short-lived and I never fell in love with my second boyfriend. My third boyfriend, who is my current one, well, all I did was read a few of his posts here on WP and I got hooked. I obsessed over him for a couple of weeks before even sending him a PM. After that I became even more obsessed with reading his every post and hanging on his every word and wanting him to be my rescuer. This obsession lasted a few months and then it slowly faded away, to be replaced by something softer, something calmer, something more rational. It was a lovely obsession and I think it helped me reach past my social anxiety and keep writing to my boyfriend even when I would normally hide myself from everyone else. My obsession with him made him a rock for me during a difficult period of my life. He placed me in a direction of better mental health and I'm on supplements, an antidepressant, and sometimes an anxiety med, now, so I don't really get obsessed about anything anymore. I feel something exciting and passionate in me is lost, but we do have a more stable relationship now that I'm not obsessed with him. I still love him dearly, I just don't want to know what he's doing/thinking/feeling all the time.
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Let us comfort each other, and move tenderly when we are able. Let us hold hands and walk bravely, or fearfully together; for as long as there is Love, there is Hope, that everything will be okay, including the things we say are not.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
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