The Great Divide

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So There is a lady I have a crush for, she works at a bar... There is no other place i see her in town since we obviously live very seperate lives - She works, I work and go to school outside the city. I think she may have a thing for me though I can't be sure. I've told a off color joke which would have gone very badly but she liked it, which I take as a good sign .

her: Is this your $20.00 on the floor
me: yes..
Her: for all I know that $20.00 could be mine (it was genuinely mine, it just fell out of my wallet by accident.)
Me: It could be yours by the end of tonight.... Wink wink...

She took it with good humor so it was a disaster. She always recognizes me at the bar and know what I want most of the time.
the problem is, the time I do have time off, there are so many people that I don't have a change to talk to her 1 on 1 as I have in the past.
I know alot about her past - where she is from, her life growing up. she talks alot and I just sit there and listen which I like doing, the only reason I go there really.

I really want to ask her out on a date but of course I don't have the courage to do it. I feel especially uncomfortable hitting on her at her place of work, it sort of feels like stalking. I don't go there very often but still .

Has anyone ever asked someone out at where they work, if so, success, failure?... Good idea, bad idea?

Maybe I'd start off with asking her to "go out for coffee." Be a gentleman about it. Don't make any more hooker jokes LOL

I've never had success with asking girls out at bars. Nor with girls who work in bars.

Good luck.

My guess is she has a bf. Bartender and waitresses tend be unavailable, but appreciate good customers.

I "picked up" three girls from the NYC subway, 1 from a video arcade, many others were "friends of friends" who were horny that night.

I answered an ad for a woman who pulled me into her apartment and just about raped me. We saw each other for about three months. She taught me lots about the "ways of love." She had some emotional problems, though. I'm not sure if this was 1983 or 1984. I know it almost hit 100 degrees on September 3rd of that year, though.

You are definitely a couple of leagues above me. I couldn't even pick up drunk girls most of the time.

Once, I almost picked up a drunk girl.

I was 21 years old. It was from a bar in Greenwich Village (I think it was called "Kenny's Castaways"). She had beautiful blonde hair, and was kissing every man within a few feet of her. I thought I looked good in my camouflage hat.

We were making out in somebody's car. We were going towards Union, NJ. All of her sudden, the girl sobered up and changed her mind! Fortunately, this was near the PATH station in Jersey City. I decided to split right there, because I didn't want to go all the way to Union with no transportation--and no girl!

We had some "phone sex" for about two months afterwards--but I never saw the girl again. She was a college student. She was a pretty nice girl. It just wasn't meant to be.

I changed my avitar to an actual picture of my self for a while. Look at your own risk. My hair isn't quite that long right now, though.

You look like you're about 35, at the most.

Certainly not 48.

You look more like a Bohemian than a hippie.

The picture is a couple of years old. Guess I age well, definitely not due to the way I treated my body in my early 20s.

You got away with it--which is good.

That's the way I would think of that time in your life: a learning experience, rather than something all negative.

I think Mitrovah should ask the girl for coffee, but not to invest his heart in the girl.

Oh my. Um, don't try anymore jokes please. Or if you do, rehearse them on someone you know first. She might have appeared to take it ok, but may be thinking completely different. I get guy patients that will hit on me with strange stuff and I have to take it all in stride, otherwise things are going to be awkward the rest of the shift, but I'm really thinking "how fast can I get out of this room?". Sometimes though, what they say is so bad that I will send in my aide instead so I don't have to face them again unless it is absolutely necessary or I will take another nurse in with me.

If you're interested in her, I would find a way to make up for that joke and then start some conversations asking information about her and look interested. I know Aspies have a hard time with eye contact and smiling, but if you can try a little of those that would be great too. And don't get plastered - that always makes for a bad impression.

I've never asked anyone out where they work. I do work at a bar, though, and have worked at several others over the years. It's pretty common that servers/bartenders either hookup with or date customers, or each other or other service staff from other restaurants. If you're interested in her, ask her out and see what happens. Best case scenario you get a date, worst case scenario you learn she's not that into you - but you still won't have lost anything at all, except for maybe the anxiety of wondering.

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