The BUMP thread

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Bumped to inform you that you do not currently qualify for extermination. Your application will be kept on file and we will notify you if and when you become eligible.

I want to talk to you leader.

Please hold.............................................................................................................................................. ....................................................................................................................................... ............................................................................... ............................................................................................................................................ ...............................................................................................................................................................

I cannot bump until you have filled out the proper paper work.

I submitted the paperwork three times in triplicate! Even with nine(9) copies you can't find one! What the bump?!

Have you considered hiring a secretary? Be bumped.

A secretary would cost even more than losing my paperwork. I'll just fill out more forms and mail them in each of the four cardinal directions. One of them will get there eventually!

In passing... I guess you didn't know that Finnish language has names for eight cardinal directions. Even the ones between the conventional four have their own unique names, not just something like north-east, etc. I have to admit (we all do) that they can be a pain in the ass when you have to mention them promptly.

I did not know that, though I do think of there being eight rather than four cardinal directions. But english language only offers names for four. Too bad, 'cause eight directions would double my odds on this brilliant plan.

^ It would also double your paperwork, and bump up any associated costs.

Then I'll hire a personal assistant for the paperwork then cut their salary to make up for the added material expenses. Foolproof plan! *bump*

Try to find a personal assistant from the country of Milla Yovovich and Mila Kunis, Ukraine. Politically hazardous but Ukrainians are something to feast your eyes on.

^I really must agree. Ukrainian women seem inclined to be attractive and have very pretty eyes. At least, I think so. A statistically significant portion of Ukranians I've known also claim to see spirits compared to the average American I meet. Psychic personal assistants as a new job market perchance? 'Course I've only known a few, and at least half claimed to see spirits, so maybe it's just the people I meet....

I can't say I've ever bumped into any women who've claimed to have seen spirits.

It's definitely the people I meet. I bump into the most interesting people.

What other kinds of people do you tend to bump into?