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Do you think aspie folks fall harder than NT's?

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StackedAces
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30 Jun 2015, 4:07 am

It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?



The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jun 2015, 5:24 am

Four at 24 is a completely normal number.



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30 Jun 2015, 5:37 am

It is individual thing. Some people fall harder, some less. Some deal with rejection/parting easily, some get suicidal. NT or AS, doesn't matter here. I have AS and I can deal with rejection without creating a drama and I know some NTs who experienced heavy depression after being dumped.



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30 Jun 2015, 5:42 am

Everything you described is normal of all humans, not just aspies. 4 is a perfectly reasonable number, hell that's more than a lot of the neurotypical, emotionally stable & happy people I know in my life. People take break ups in their own way too, of course they suck. How can you spend so much time with one person, having them act like they really care only for them to totally turn their back on you the next week? Some people can just flip them the bird and find someone new, others get depressed. The worst part is, unless you play it off totally cool, you're judged and labeled as being crazy for it. There's no right way to deal with a break up by society's standards and it's frustrating as hell for the person on the receiving end of it, and because of that, it truly matters zero if you're neurotypical or aspie, break-ups blow.

But yes, we do have special interests and obsessive thinking so it's always possible to deal with it on a much worse scale.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jun 2015, 5:49 am

Quote:
Do you think aspie folks fall harder than NT's?


I would say yes, Aspies sit a lot on computers, so more likely to become fat.



izzeme
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30 Jun 2015, 6:12 am

It isn't unheard of that an aspie turns a crush into his/her obsessive interest, so yeah, some aspies 'fall' harder than NTs.

also, for someone on the spectrum, 4 at 24 is far above average



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30 Jun 2015, 9:44 am

izzeme wrote:
also, for someone on the spectrum, 4 at 24 is far above average


Not just this.
He most recently been in a relationship with one girl for half of decade(=5 years) so he had 3 girlfriends by age 19 and then he started a long relationship. It's even more superior.



sly279
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30 Jun 2015, 12:54 pm

izzeme wrote:
It isn't unheard of that an aspie turns a crush into his/her obsessive interest, so yeah, some aspies 'fall' harder than NTs.

also, for someone on the spectrum, 4 at 24 is far above average

way way above average, considering most never even been on a date. I've never had any gf and I'm 27.



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30 Jun 2015, 8:44 pm

It's safe to say that most high-functioning autistics didn't have a girlfriend in high school. A good majority of us didn't in our teenage years.

So 4 is definitely a pretty good number for an aspie guy.

Hell I wish I had a gf in my teens. I actually came very close a couple of times.



WhiteGalacticWiz
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01 Jul 2015, 2:36 am

NT and highly functional Asperger person here.

Relationships are never going to happen for me. I know too much, or I think I do. Maybe I need to learn more. Yes that is the answer. Muahahaha... I will transcend. :twisted:

P.S. I'm also Asexual. But if I wasn't your still doing better than most. I know these things Richard. Can I call you Richard. Forget it. 8)



Loveurself
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01 Jul 2015, 9:33 am

StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?



If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.



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01 Jul 2015, 9:41 am

Loveurself wrote:
StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?



If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.


This!



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01 Jul 2015, 9:48 am

Loveurself wrote:
StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?



If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.



Just for the record, most of those those people claim their partners are aspies- based on things they read, and not really diagnosed, I suggested once to Alex to add Wife-Suspecting-Husband-Having-AS as a diagnosis status for profiles.



Loveurself
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01 Jul 2015, 9:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?



If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.



Just for the record, most of those those people claim their partners are aspies- based on things they read, and not really diagnosed, I suggested once to Alex to add Wife-Suspecting-Husband-Having-AS as a diagnosis status for profiles.


I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed. :heart: :D



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01 Jul 2015, 11:10 am

The fall doesn't hurt. The landing does.
I think NTs fall harder, because they are more emotional.


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sly279
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01 Jul 2015, 2:44 pm

Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?



If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.



Just for the record, most of those those people claim their partners are aspies- based on things they read, and not really diagnosed, I suggested once to Alex to add Wife-Suspecting-Husband-Having-AS as a diagnosis status for profiles.


I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed. :heart: :D


well I could never do that .I'd probably stay in a loveless relation. I don't want to hurt people and I'm too loyal. but then I still love the past crushes or almost relationshps I had. I'd go right back to trying to get them to be my gf if they asked. love isn't something that fades for me.