Dating hard for a girl
I don't know where to start finding someone, I'm a lesbian and only have sexual and romantic attraction to girls. Anyways, I've tired dating personals and everything but I'm left not knowing how to get to know people better. I also don't like my real face so I don't take picture and that makes things much harder. I'm old and just tired of being lonely.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Were you born in 83? I'm a few years older than you and don't consider myself old
What goes wrong when you try online dating? You don't know what to say in a message? Yes you really are making it a lot harder by not putting a photo up. Unless you intend to form an online-only relationship, your partner is going to have to see your face eventually so the earlier the better. I've always filtered by "has photo" so I can't even see the profiles of those who don't have one. Remember, just because you don't like your face, doesn't mean someone else won't find it adorable. We don't see ourselves how others see us.
I'll give you one tip based on my personal experience. Make your true self shine through in your profile. My girlfriend and I probably would never have met if she didn't put one particular line in her profile that stuck out to me. Online dating was new to her and she didn't really know what she was doing, but I met up with her because I felt like there was more to her than her mannerisms on the site, because of this one thing she said about herself. So, take the time to make your profile description stand out from all the bland, generic ones.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Does the Okcupid chart take the online activity into account? A girl who hasn't logged for ages would surely receive less messages.
Even most bi girls I've encountered give up on girls and eventually go for men.
This is me to a tee.
I don't understand girls. They send so many mixed messages and sometimes I think they don't even know what they want themselves.
In my experience, boys are much easier.
Even most bi girls I've encountered give up on girls and eventually go for men.
This is me to a tee.
I don't understand girls. They send so many mixed messages and sometimes I think they don't even know what they want themselves.
In my experience, boys are much easier.
Most girls. There are exceptions (just like there are confusing guys). Gay girls are actually more often the exceptions, in my experience (because they tend to have more masculine qualities).
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Even most bi girls I've encountered give up on girls and eventually go for men.
This is me to a tee.
I don't understand girls. They send so many mixed messages and sometimes I think they don't even know what they want themselves.
In my experience, boys are much easier.
Most girls. There are exceptions (just like there are confusing guys). Gay girls are actually more often the exceptions, in my experience (because they tend to have more masculine qualities).
Oh come on yellow, you don't have to hang on the omitted "Most" every time .
Look, ALL bi girls told me that guys are easier - I don't know about bi guys.
It's a fact, girls are way more complicated.
And as a straight guy, I find myself agreeing with bi girls on "mixed messages" and "don't know what they want".
Even most bi girls I've encountered give up on girls and eventually go for men.
This is me to a tee.
I don't understand girls. They send so many mixed messages and sometimes I think they don't even know what they want themselves.
In my experience, boys are much easier.
Most girls. There are exceptions (just like there are confusing guys). Gay girls are actually more often the exceptions, in my experience (because they tend to have more masculine qualities).
Oh come on yellow, you don't have to hang on the omitted "Most" every time .
Look, ALL bi girls told me that guys are easier - I don't know about bi guys.
It's a fact, girls are way more complicated.
And as a straight guy, I find myself agreeing with bi girls on "mixed messages" and "don't know what they want".
It's important. For the more unique people like aspies tend to be, it's the exceptions who are often more likely to be the ones we should seek. The ones not covered by "most".
And it's just not very constructive to respond to a thread by a lesbian saying that girls are more difficult. Katiaflowers83 is attracted to women, so just saying that men are easier solves nothing.
She wasn't asking for help, she was stating her opinion.
And I stated mine.
In my experience as a bi sexual female, every single girl I've been in relations with, has been a bag of mixed messages. I'm not sure if that comes down to game play, insecurity, uncertainty, stigma associated with a "gay" relationship etc.
But that is my experience.
I agree that dating a girl is hard.
And I stated mine.
In my experience as a bi sexual female, every single girl I've been in relations with, has been a bag of mixed messages. I'm not sure if that comes down to game play, insecurity, uncertainty, stigma associated with a "gay" relationship etc.
But that is my experience.
I agree that dating a girl is hard.
Yeah, fair enough. I was actually referring to this reply, from a hetero male, when I spoke of not being constructive:
Even most bi girls I've encountered give up on girls and eventually go for men.
My experience has been that I've mostly dated guys, because they are more likely to be easier to understand (I'm very good at filtering for this stuff before I even go on a date, in the online dating realm, so it ends up panning out that way). My girlfriend is easier to understand than any guy I've dated though. She has a rational mind PLUS the willingness to talk things through (best of both worlds I reckon). So there are exceptions and they are worth looking for, IMO.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
And I stated mine.
In my experience as a bi sexual female, every single girl I've been in relations with, has been a bag of mixed messages. I'm not sure if that comes down to game play, insecurity, uncertainty, stigma associated with a "gay" relationship etc.
But that is my experience.
I agree that dating a girl is hard.
Yeah, fair enough. I was actually referring to this reply, from a hetero male, when I spoke of not being constructive:
Even most bi girls I've encountered give up on girls and eventually go for men.
My experience has been that I've mostly dated guys, because they are more likely to be easier to understand (I'm very good at filtering for this stuff before I even go on a date, in the online dating realm, so it ends up panning out that way). My girlfriend is easier to understand than any guy I've dated though. She has a rational mind PLUS the willingness to talk things through (best of both worlds I reckon). So there are exceptions and they are worth looking for, IMO.
I don't see what's wrong in what I said there. Even you have admitted there that dating guys is generally easier...because IT IS.
Her thread's title is "Dating hard for a girl" - I was telling her that the reality is "dating girls is hard" regardless if the one who is trying to date them is a guy or girl. Because for girls who date guys...it is not as hard; bi girls' experiences are a live proof that dating girls is harder.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 09 Jul 2015, 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Andreger
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Joined: 2 Jul 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: Russia - worst country ever
Both of my girlfriends had masculine traits. The latter one is even a bi with stereotypical male hobbies (extreme sports, fights, pc games) so it was much easier to understand her and to date her. She even said me plenty of times that she often don't understand other girls.
As I know however not all guys want teir gf to be like man in skirt (like Scotsman ) but it is very vry much easier to date such girls, and as for me it is interesting to be near them.
So yes, the more girl has feminine traits the harder it is to date her, for everybody.
Her thread's title is "Dating hard for a girl" - I was telling her that the reality is "dating girls is hard" regardless if the one who is trying to date them is a guy or girl. Because for girls who date guys...it is not as hard; bi girls' experiences are a live proof that dating girls is harder.
It's fine, it's just not constructive is all. I said that in response to you having a go at me for saying there are exceptions. The point of saying there are exceptions was to be able to move on from "yes it's hard work" to "what can the OP do to better her chances of finding someone suitable".
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