Is anyone else on here afraid of negative responses?

Page 1 of 3 [ 37 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Su35SuperFlanker
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 11

17 Jul 2015, 3:16 pm

Hi there. This happened to me, NUMEROUS TIMES!! !! !! !! ! I have a severe anxiety disorder(I think it's from my OCD(which is severe), and another one from Asperger's. My severe anxiety disorder causes me to be afraid of negative responses. While a bunch of super idiots I came across over the course of my life(this even includes two fellow Aspies, one who acted like a dumb NT to me in the sense that he stooped low(for an Aspie) because he was talking to me like I was an idiot(in a rude way, of course), and knowing myself even better as the years go by, I don't feel like I'm so pathetic and stupid(when an idiot says something to me, that is). However, I made a comment that was inappropriate(I was very angry at the time so I really blew my stack after a pretty rough month with some mean NTs. As a result, I have posted the comment "sub-human, half-ape non-entities." Like I said, the insult I made was directed at bad NTs, not the good ones. I'm not sorry for insulting bad NTs, and I'm not sorry for expressing my anger back then. Next thing you know, a fellow Aspie criticizes me in a post, and was insensitive. As a result, I got a nasty anxiety attack from reading a negative response. In fact, it's because of my anxiety disorder that causes me to be afraid to look at any replies made to my post in another forum. That said, because this Aspie was offended(which I respect his feelings in that sense, but certainly not his criticism), I had a moderator edit my post, so that no one else in the future would get offended. I'm afraid because when I see a negative response(nowadays, in this case, from a fellow Aspie), I would feel stupid, and very pathetic. In the post when I made a really mean insult towards bad NTs, I made an apology if anyone was offended. So, I explained to the Aspie that I was angry and basically was having a rough month, and by telling him that he needed to look at my apology. However, I know that won't make everyone not say a thing, at the same time, he didn't seem to get the hint. I didn't apologize to make myself look good, I was genuinely sorry. I am a good person, which would explain my kindness towards everyone(I've proven that to a number of people), however, considering that everyone has treated me like crap for no good reason lately, I know that I didn't do anything bad to them that could've caused them to act this way. When I get hurt just enough, I can be really mean towards jerks. Yes, I know A CRAP TON of NTs, and a lot of them are decent folks. I don't hate NTs, just the bad ones. In fact, I'm actually quite fond of NTs; the management and some of my fellow coworkers at my last two jobs and current job are some of the best NTs I've ever met. In addition, I prefer NT friends over Aspie friends in real life(Not that I'm being rude about it, but I feel a lot better around NTs). Also, in the past, I was playing a game, and there were A LOT of rude folks on there, so I was paralyzed in my anxiety attack from such negative responses. Right now, I'm pretty worried that I'm going to get negative comments for my incident that I have mentioned. I just hope nobody gives me the metaphorical "middle finger". 8O



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,831
Location: Stendec

17 Jul 2015, 6:45 pm

Su35SuperFlanker wrote:
Is Anyone Else On Here Afraid Of Negative Responses?
Apparently not in the giving of negative responses. Personally, negativity has little effect on me except to make me think more deeply as to whether or not I will respond and what that response might be.

Although when a troll comes on board and tries to verbally crap all over everyone else's posts, I'll jump right in and "draw their fire" away from those who seem ill equipped to handle it.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

21 Jul 2015, 7:55 pm

that is noble :star:



Skibz888
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 965
Location: Orange County, CA

21 Jul 2015, 9:22 pm

I have Borderline Personality Disorder, so my whole existence is pretty much perceiving negative criticism. *shrug*



EyeDash
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 328
Location: Colorado

22 Jul 2015, 10:38 am

Terrified of negative responses or flaming. I want to share and learn more, but I find myself editing an re-editing posts over and over, re-reading to see if there's anything to which offense might be taken. I'm an autie, with cPTSD and schizotypal PD. I'm 58 but really missed out on learning to be around other children due to spending a year or so locked in a bathroom and subsequently being kept mostly inside. When I have tried to 'be myself' around NT acquaintances, I have gotten corrected, put down, contradicted, told I was lying. So I learned to fake acting normal, and only getting beat up or bullied less frequently. But I did that so fearfully well over the decades, that I'm terrified that people will see through my mature, professional engineer façade now and see that I'M NOT NORMAL and it will all start again. I need to break myself of that mindset on Wrong Planet, because this is the first time I've found a group of people even remotely like me, lol, and I want to be open about who I am. I'm not just slightly different from most folks, they often seem like aliens to me. But they expect me to act just as alien and when I miss the mark they get mad, don't want me around, etc.



Waterfalls
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,075

22 Jul 2015, 11:15 am

Yes, I am also afraid of negative responses. I'm not sure how relevant this is, but it seems also like you're also asking what people do when they are afraid. I observe and what I notice is that when someone is negative about anyone else they sometimes get a negative response and if they complain about it, are basically told it's appropriate or even for their own or others good. Once that starts, if it's at all logical, some (not all) others pick up on the theme. I'm not sure yet who and why negative responses occur, though.

On the other hand it's a mistake to think that if you were to be more measured in what you write no one would be offended. Sometimes people are offended despite my best efforts not to offend or annoy anyone. A lot of people here are unhappy or at the least have considerable experience being misunderstood.

Even reading your post though, it's apparent that you see some NTs are difficult, some Aspies are as well, and that trying to draw a line of us versus them isn't necessarily an effective way to think about the world. People here are quick to pick up on and point out contradictions, and not always very nicely.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Jul 2015, 4:38 pm

I didn't know BPD was about perceiving negative intent in people. learn something new. I guess I had that.



Skibz888
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 965
Location: Orange County, CA

22 Jul 2015, 4:57 pm

auntblabby wrote:
I didn't know BPD was about perceiving negative intent in people. learn something new. I guess I had that.


It's difficult to explain, but there's a lot of "black and white thinking" in BPD. Like, for example, one of your co-workers could simply point out a spelling mistake on something you wrote and your brain could interpret it as "Oh my God, they think I'm an idiot! They'll never trust me to do anything! I'm so STUPID!". I mean, that's one of many, many ways BPD can manifest, but it's happened to me before.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Jul 2015, 5:02 pm

Skibz888 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I didn't know BPD was about perceiving negative intent in people. learn something new. I guess I had that.


It's difficult to explain, but there's a lot of "black and white thinking" in BPD. Like, for example, one of your co-workers could simply point out a spelling mistake on something you wrote and your brain could interpret it as "Oh my God, they think I'm an idiot! They'll never trust me to do anything! I'm so STUPID!". I mean, that's one of many, many ways BPD can manifest, but it's happened to me before.

wow :o that is yet one more thing I just learned about meself then. it explains a lot. :alien:



justkillingtime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,893
Location: Washington, D.C.

22 Jul 2015, 5:08 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Skibz888 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I didn't know BPD was about perceiving negative intent in people. learn something new. I guess I had that.


It's difficult to explain, but there's a lot of "black and white thinking" in BPD. Like, for example, one of your co-workers could simply point out a spelling mistake on something you wrote and your brain could interpret it as "Oh my God, they think I'm an idiot! They'll never trust me to do anything! I'm so STUPID!". I mean, that's one of many, many ways BPD can manifest, but it's happened to me before.

wow :o that is yet one more thing I just learned about meself then. it explains a lot. :alien:


AB, do you have borderline personality disorder?


_________________
Impermanence.


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Jul 2015, 5:15 pm

justkillingtime wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Skibz888 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I didn't know BPD was about perceiving negative intent in people. learn something new. I guess I had that.


It's difficult to explain, but there's a lot of "black and white thinking" in BPD. Like, for example, one of your co-workers could simply point out a spelling mistake on something you wrote and your brain could interpret it as "Oh my God, they think I'm an idiot! They'll never trust me to do anything! I'm so STUPID!". I mean, that's one of many, many ways BPD can manifest, but it's happened to me before.

wow :o that is yet one more thing I just learned about meself then. it explains a lot. :alien:


AB, do you have borderline personality disorder?

it was never DX'ed but I am beginning to think that maybe it was overlooked all these years.



justkillingtime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,893
Location: Washington, D.C.

22 Jul 2015, 5:18 pm

I believe black and white thinking is also a common trait of Asperger's. My therapist said I have black and white thinking.


_________________
Impermanence.


Skibz888
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 965
Location: Orange County, CA

22 Jul 2015, 5:20 pm

justkillingtime wrote:
I believe black and white thinking is also a common trait of Asperger's. My therapist said I have black and white thinking.


Oh yeah, I guess that is also a trait of autism, though in BPD it's associated with distorted self-image, feelings of worthlessness, mood swings, disassociation, etc.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Jul 2015, 5:22 pm

Skibz888 wrote:
justkillingtime wrote:
I believe black and white thinking is also a common trait of Asperger's. My therapist said I have black and white thinking.


Oh yeah, I guess that is also a trait of autism, though in BPD it's associated with distorted self-image, feelings of worthlessness, mood swings, disassociation, etc.

that would be me, for sure.



justkillingtime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,893
Location: Washington, D.C.

22 Jul 2015, 5:26 pm

I have a friend with BPD. She can't seem to relax. It seems agonizing.


_________________
Impermanence.


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Jul 2015, 5:33 pm

justkillingtime wrote:
I have a friend with BPD. She can't seem to relax. It seems agonizing.

that is another thing that sticks out like a sore thumb with me, I never could relax until just a few years ago, I was always keyed up, like a car revving but with the brakes on. in fact I used to shake/quiver all the time, an "intentional tremor" as the docs called it. but I shook even when sitting still.