How to meet and date aspies as a NT?

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So, I'm not an aspie (so far as I can tell), but I've been interested in autism-spectrum since babysitting a girl with severe autism as a teen and reading books by Temple Grandin and James Robinson. I sympathize with the sensory-over-stimulation troubles and, while you might classify me as "neurotypical" because I can understand social situations, I've often felt mentally atypical due to an abnormal IQ leading to special classes, starting college early, etc.

I'm single and have been frustrated with recent dates because the men seem too average, too conformist. So it occurs to me that dating a high-IQ aspie might out work well - I'm quite logical (write code for a living), believe in more-than-average honesty and openness within a relationship, don't like blindly conforming to all arbitrary social norms (there are good reasons for many social norms, but it irritates me that people have never stopped to consider *why* they obey social conventions!), and I'm generally competent with most things but not a genius with any one thing so I admire the narrow brilliance which some aspies possess.

Anyway, personal history aside, I'm curious - how would one set about meeting and dating aspies? Or do you think this would not be a good idea and if so, why?

Thanks in advance for the advice!

PS - I'm a 30 year old woman in Arlington VA, looking to meet a local single man around the same age who is mature enough for a serious relationship. If you're interested, I would be happy to exchange a few emails and see about meeting up for a date - obviously there are no guarantees of attraction on either side, but you never know!

Hey jaamkie.

I'd suggest posting your bio in the Eligible Odd Bods Thread. Good luck in your search!

You might try online dating sites; many of us are there, and a lot also drop hints as to our condition in the bios there (although not spelled-out).

look for things along the lines of "need my peace and quiet", "don't like parties", "prefer a few close friends over many fleeting", that kind of thing.

LOL - get a job at Google, apparently.

Do you like Aspies for their intelligence, or for their quirkiness?

I hope you like them for both!

It depends. There are aspies that are more or less "normal" in their relationship and sexual preferences, and it is probably relatively easy to reach out to those in your typical way (just looking for odd traits as suggested above). Then there is the group of aspies that have neurodiverse relationship preferences, and that is a whole different story. You cannot successfully get together with those in your typical way. As a girl, you will need to take a whole lot of initiatives yourself, and you might even have to chase these guys in order to get anywhere. For this latter group, dating is generally a bad idea, and you also need to be careful about the attachment issue as these guys very easily can form very strong attachments which they cannot easily break. You might find that attractive, but it might not be so attractive when you get stalked after breaking up with them.