PICKING THE RIGHT WIFE

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Yes you do

What if she needs your « rescue » from a very bad & abusive & violent pig ?
What if there is nobody that she feels she can trust due to all of the brain-washing of said pig ?
Will you still ignore a slave/hostage who is silently screaming out & begging for freedom & happiness ?

Unless you are hideously deformed like in this example...

...then you are actually exuding a LACK of confidence.


You know you can womanise just one woman ? She can Cos-Play as a lot of different female-characters, wear a bunch of different wigs to make her look like different women each time, and no it does NOT require being emotionless, distant, hardly ever seeing her, but more along the lines of basically « you know how to give her the kind of attention she desires » due to your experience with having inter-acted & socialised with ladies to know what kinds of responses to expect depending upon your actions.




I used to resolve this problem by getting additional jobs through employment-agencies.


The real problem is that you see everything as a problem.
Furthermore, you demonstrate a lack of any consistency, and I need to re-quote myself...









You shouldn't automatically assume that nobody else in the world has had the same or very similar-experiences as you. I had abusive-parents to deal with in the past, one who would even beat me with belts even from the age of two, each and every single day practically, always telling me that I was bad & wrong & worthless & needed to always be punished, etc., and yes, that s**t eventually drove me into literal psychosis for a few years such to the point where I delighted upon witnessing any suffering that others experienced (events like 9/11 would trigger such emotional-delight for people who were as psychotic), and if you need to go psychotically crazy to get all of that frustration out of your system, then so be it if it is a stage that you are required to experience before your transformation from emotional-instability into a consistently confident man. You may not WANT yourself to be or become a variety of things, but whether you like it or not, you eventually WILL become those things anyway (and this is NOT a matter of IF but WHEN it will happen). ALL that matters is you try to learn the life-lessons from your experiences (this is a part of a process of what might be called Spiritual-Growth or Psychological-Development and perhaps even Emotional-Development).

I actually used to think a lot of the same ways that you do about myself, almost like you are somewhat of a version of how I was in many ways when I was younger, and as for the « independence » matters, perhaps you might want to take another listen to the Street-Smarts versus Book-Smarts video-clip, for a bit of a hint...

No, you don't. Womanizers are the worse creeps on planet earth, so you definitely don't want to be a pig like that.

Hey Sly....I bet it's a nice day where you are.

Do your "wet-shaving" bit, take a nice shower,then go out to a park with a lake, bring a book, watch the sky. Forget about getting chicks for a while.

There are chicks out in such places, and singles too, so he could combine it.

I'm not sure at what point "for a while" becomes "for good".

Must « fix » post...

You might find one in the kitchen.....at least a chef for a wife that is. You want a wife that will make you a sandwitch? Go out with a Subway employee!

I wouldn't count on that---they're probably fed up with making them.

Drat! Howbout a female bartender she will at least fetch you your beer.

too depressed to shave as I don't want to accidentally slit my throat or more likely just cause a bad cut that bleeds for alot. I haven't showered for 4 days. fail to see a point might just lay in bed and get thirsty.

women are at those places I shouldn't' go places women are my worthlessness will upset and burden them. besides that cost money and I'm out of gas from driving my family around. anyways its like 100 degrees out. only thing I have to look forward to is pre ordering a game after the 5th that won't come out til September.

just another reason to never leave my house. I have to wear sunglasses in store to hid that I'm crying, because seeing women makes me depressed and I know they hate having to wast time seeing my worthless ass.



after 25.



why would a highly paid chef date a worthless loser?

I make my own sandwiches. though I don't like sandwiches that much.

You know, I've been cogitating on this. Perhaps obsessively.

I've come to 3 conclusions:

1) As a woman and the mother of a son: If my son grows up to have this man's attitude towards himself, toward relationships (all relationships, not just sexual ones), and toward women, I am going to take myself out back and beat myself to death with a nettle switch. Because if my son grows up to think like this dude, I didn't just do something wrong. I did EVERYTHING wrong.

2) As a wife: My husband is right. I am killing myself and taking our marriage along for the ride by believing that this gorilla speaks what all men want in a woman and trying to conform myself to it. I'm going to stop. If I can figure out how.

3) As a person with an interest in mental health: This guy was probably horribly abused and/or neglected by his mother. His attitude is probably a direct result of that. Come to think of it, I dated a guy with an attitude similar to this. I thought it was pathological at the time, and actually was attracted to the parts of him that had not yet, at the tender age of 21, been saturated with this horses**t. Of course, over the next few years, he chose to embrace it and give himself over to it totally, which led to him deciding that I wasn't a good enough trophy to make a wife and dumping me with a shovelful of verbal abuse. Which, to be quite frank, I'd figured out was the best thing he could have done for me before the tears were even dry on my face.

Guys, this guy's balls-to-the-wall nuts. He has some good points (like hard work and focused determination being the way out of poverty or whatever else you hate about your life), but he takes everything to such an absurd extreme that his good points are worthless.

He might, in fact, be rich in Vietnam terms and f*****g lots of pussy-san. That doesn't make him mentally healthy or likely to sustain happiness past the next conquest. I cannot recommend following in his footsteps if you are looking for a woman who actually loves you or a happy, healthy life you'll enjoy.

The article is completely unrealistic about real marriage.

As for the argument about money...

I think that what is valuable is a person who knows how and is willing to work hard. This is an important character trait. *Usually*, this leads to a decent job with decent pay (eventually, not necessarily at an entry-level job.) But, I don't think money should be the deciding factor for whether or not someone is a good potential mate. The question should not be "how much money do you make?" The question should be "Do you do everything you NEED to do to make it work?" That "make it work" could be a budget or a relationship or reaching a goal. Does the person keep trying, or does the person give up easily? Does the person strive toward bettering himself/herself? *These* are the qualities to look for. It is NOT a number.

Money comes, and money goes. Jobs come, and jobs go. That's the way life is. I know plenty of good, smart, diligent, hard-working people who have faced illness, injury, company closings, family changes, etc. that have interfered with their previous way of making a decent income. I know a great guy who right now is working two minimum wage jobs to support his family. He is in his 50s and got laid off from one job and also had an injury that prevented him from getting a job in his field during the recovery period. So, is he a bad guy because he doesn't have a good job/income right now? If he was single, he'd be a bad catch because he is not someone's *EQUAL*???

My husband and I are in music and church ministry. If there are two fields with less long-term chance of a good income for the hours required for work, let me know... We both were in music when we met and fell in love and decided to get married. I have to say money was NOT a factor!! ! We knew from day one that finances were going to be a struggle. But, that's the way it is. You learn how to MAKE DO. Life is not pre-packaged and convenient.

Grittiness, tenacity, guts, determination, diligence.

Angela, get over it. Money alone is a bad factor to look at.

Sly, prove you've got what it takes.

Lets take a clue from Nike: "Just Do It."

I struggle with anxiety every day. I get nervous using the phone. I get nervous talking even to people I like. Half the time when I'm going somewhere, my stomach is in knots and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I have terrible stage fright. I get nervous showing my work to my teachers. I get nervous even playing at church. Every time I sit down at the piano to compose, I have to fight the inner demons that say I suck. Every.Day. This.is.life.

But you know what? I continue. I fight through it. BECAUSE I HAVE NO CHOICE. What else I am I going to do? The only other option is to lay in bed and give up on my dreams. Give in to the "I suck" voices and amount to nothing and prove them right and sing the "Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, Guess I'll go eat worms" song.

what do the millions and millions who work hard every day come home tired and never ever get decent incomes?
I'm one of those. I put everything into doing my best and working hard. but min or slightly above min wage is all I'll ever get. there no ladder to climb being a cashier. its kinda a dead end. I always thought itd' be better then no job.

how do I prove that when to most women proving it means making good money. I'll be lucky if I find a full time job at this point. seems no one wants to hire a indebted aspie with only 1 year experience and a degree in automotive. its been almost three years now since I finished college and started looking for work. coudlnt' do automotive, tried finding security work because it pays ok starting out and can lead to 17 an hour jobs , but that didn't work out so now I'm back to looking for low paying cashier work and the job finding people aren't sure i can find that, though they try to hide it.

seems it might be the only job I ever get is my current one working 2 -3 weeks every 3 months. they like me there and keep bring me back, customers like me there too. I think I could do good at another job, but people won't give me a shot.

I still try my best to find work but women here act like I'm not which is demotivating. I've walsy tried my best and tried to show others taht I can do stuff. I learned German somewhat when they said I couldn't i went to colelge when most people with our condition from my area don't. all seen as achievements to the school people and the gov at vocation services. but to women it's ignored. tired doing manual labor, but I'm too slow and weak so they didn't bring me back.

i too suffer from anxiety and I fight back best I can. it wasn't easy going to college for 4 years, or going and putting up with my internship. or going to work the next day after it made me cry the day before. but only thing that matters is how much money a guy makes. they don't care about anything else til you meet that. then of course good amount of women hate kind caring emotional guys.

thanks for the kind words though even if you are an "enabler" apparently

wish there were single women like you and others I've met. but at last all the nice women are married.

honestly the idea of spending 50 years working at a cashier and being hated for it and being alone is very depressing and I see no point in doing that. which is why I set a 30 deadline. i think 30 year time is enough so I'll free myself. sentence served. I just hope god will see it that way.

Employment-Agencies. Try using them... register with them, call them up at least once a week, ask them if they have any available assignments for you for said particular week outside of your Cashier-Schedule.

I am not going to do your work for you though, but I can at least point you to certain potentials & possibilities, and what are you doing being age 27 with only one year of work-experience!? Anyway, just get more experience, and know that other Aspies, such as myself, have ended up finding higher-paying jobs for each previous job I got fired from, Blessings in Disguise, man.

i'm involoved with an employment agency through voc rehab. they call them job devolupers.

do you mean temp agencies. I need permanent work. a routine. not a one day thing that migth not even make enough to pay for gas. suppose if I needed the monye I tried tempt work, though not sure how i'd get there. temp work is for super desperate people. I am in no risk of losing my home or food. so the goal is to find permanent long lasting work for me.

i took a few years off after high school, then went to college then cashier and now here I am. I was never allowed to work while in highschool. I got fired from the dorm cleaning crew in 2010, didn' get another job til 2012. firings aren't a blessing in disguise o.O

There's no reason you cannot work an additional temp-job for weeks where it does not conflict with your cashier-schedule, and no it's not for the desperate, for I had been able to go whole entire years before doing just temp-assignments and still managed to have 40+ hours worth of work every single week consistently, plus it gave me freedom to take certain days or weeks off if I felt like it to free up my time for maybe attending some seminar (although I am wiser now to realise that most seminars are really just sales-pitches in disguise that come in the form of classrooms/presentations), and don't forget that this is WORK-EXPERIENCE that you're getting, frequently in MULTIPLE DIFFERENT INDUSTRIES, and work-experience alone has often been enough to get me hired (actually it was probably more due to the fact that employers saw on my applications that I also spoke at least three other languages and so they must have auto-assumed that I must be smart or something & wanted to hire the smart guy). The more work-experience you have the more you are desired by competent-employers.

Now, I realise that yes, Aspies have terrible sense of direction, and will probably take months worth of getting lost for several hours at a time before even being able to find their way back to their own home (even I did this several times & wasted a bunch of gas as a result), but near-ALL cities run on a kind of a grid-system, and if you can just innately learn or memorise that system, you eventually « light-bulb » and won't get lost nearly as frequently.

That Grid-System runs something like this...

Avenues typically run North & South
Roads/Streets typically run East & West

The bigger the number of the Avenue/Street, the further away it is from the Centre of said City, and the smaller the number of the Street/Avenue, the closer it is to the Centre of the City, and Main-Street can be regarded as having a Number of 0 (runs straight through the Centre/Middle of a City Lay-Out).

The rest you can typically figure out with some math as for what direction you're traveling even without a compass and even if the sun is not visible. If you're on an Avenue, and that Avenue is labeled as a South-Avenue, and if the numbers of the Cross-Streets are getting smaller, that means you're South of City-Centre, heading North towards Main-Street. The Streets will also indicate whether you are West or East of the Centre-Line of the City by an indication of E or SE or W or SW (e.g.: 117th Avenue S & 10th Street SE indicates that you are approximately 117 blocks SOUTH of City-Centre and about 10 blocks over to the East of said Centre).

I can see that you're quite a piece of work to get through but I'll slap enough experience into you on these boards yet & one day things will just « suddenly click together » for you since that's the typical learning-curve of we typical Aspies (i.e.: we tend to be absolutely clueless until at just the point where everybody else has already given up & we may also find ourselves giving up but then things make sense at the end such to the point where our learning & understanding of a particular issue or subject-matter suddenly shoots up exponentially to the point where even an Aspie like me is running around NT's in circles in being able to find my way around in unfamiliar-territory where-as an NT still needs to ask for directions to find a new address).