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CaliforniaMan68
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03 Aug 2015, 1:35 pm

My son is four years old. He's on the spectrum. One of the things that he does is to scratch me. Or jab my scalp. Or grab or stick his foot in my groin. I don't think he does this to be malicious; I think it's a game or a joke to him. His ABA therapists have told me to intercept his behavior and redirect him. I've tried to do this hundreds of times. At times I get furious, but that's just what he wants. I do my absolute best to intercept behavior and redirect him. It's improved to some degree but he's still doing it. I wonder if at some point he does this to the wrong child or wrong person, and they hurt him. Not everyone will know how to deal with this like we do as his parents. As parents we are doing the absolute best we can for him. But I wonder just how much he will improve. We want the world for him.



Adamantium
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03 Aug 2015, 3:37 pm

CaliforniaMan68 wrote:
I wonder just how much he will improve.


I expect some parents with more experience of really injurious behavior will be along in a while with a more helpful message.

All I can say is give him some time to grow and develop. Four is very young. I hope he can learn to control these impulses, though. Your fears seem totally reasonable.



MonkeysMom83
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09 Aug 2015, 4:38 pm

When my son was that age he would bite me. Some of the time he would bite hard enough to draw blood. I was the only one he would bite to that degree. Redirection was the only thing that eventually worked. I hate to say it but also I had to have no reaction. No matter how much in angered, hurt, or bothered me any reaction whether negative or positive would still give him that reinforcement he was seeking. Eventually switching to other soothers, in his case chewies for his mouth to advert the biting.

I agree with you I don't think your son is doing it with malice. He sounds sensory seeking. Not sure if possible but perhaps enabling him to jump on either an indoor or outdoor trampoline, bounce on an exercise ball(it helps build core strength as well), throw foam balls or peanuts while yelling. That sounds perhaps odd and aggressive but it was something I'd do with my son at that age and it wasn't meant to be done due to anger but rather was a way to direct focus and the yelling often turned to laughter.

Mom to an 8 year old primary diagnosis classic autism



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09 Aug 2015, 4:56 pm

I doubt he wants you to get furious...as a rule autistic people do not enjoy loud intense situations, and usually people get rather loud/abrasive when they are furious.


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Adamantium
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17 Aug 2015, 9:08 am

CaliforniaMan68 wrote:
At times I get furious, but that's just what he wants.


Sweatleaf is right, this doesn't sound right. How do you know that his goal is to make you furious?

This kind of parental pseudo-telepathy is almost always wrong--and one of the things a outside observer can sometimes help with.