Not fitting in with NTs, not fitting in with Aspies?

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Kaleido
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11 Apr 2007, 2:33 am

philski wrote:

I'm a Newbie as far as discovering AS. It is such a relief to understand why I am the way I am. Now the challenge is practicing self forgiveness for all the years of disasterous results in the relationship department.

It is hard to look back over your life and see it absolutely littered with all the mistakes (in NT eyes) and knowing there is not a thing you can do apart from accept it, which sounds simple and in practice, is hard.



SteveK
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11 Apr 2007, 6:07 am

Kaleido wrote:
philski wrote:

I'm a Newbie as far as discovering AS. It is such a relief to understand why I am the way I am. Now the challenge is practicing self forgiveness for all the years of disasterous results in the relationship department.

It is hard to look back over your life and see it absolutely littered with all the mistakes (in NT eyes) and knowing there is not a thing you can do apart from accept it, which sounds simple and in practice, is hard.


I feel the SAME way! To make things worse, AS apparantly has a wide degree of symptoms. So I won't fully fit in with all. Some might not appreciate my interests. I may have some trouble with some others interests. To make things even WORSE, I lived so much of my life trying to fit in, I am like half way between NT and AS. I will never be NT, but I may not appear AS either. Since my perspective is different, etc... I can't even see what the NTs and AS people see about me. That is part of the reason I want to meet you guys and gals.

Steve



Kaleido
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11 Apr 2007, 6:19 am

I often think I can be half way between or even appear NT but if I am out in a group situation for too long, it shows as me being different in some small way, I just cannot keep up the NT act for too long. Its when the NTs use too many body, facial or other things instead of speaking directly and plainly, I don't get the clues and the dead give away is the lack of response from me or the blank look as I sit trying to work out things. People often think I am being funny with them and feel a bit offended or decide I am a bit weird and move off.

In class earlier this year I felt very NT but my tutor said he thought I was very quiet, oh well, better that than saying something wrong I suppose.



RadiationHazard
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11 Apr 2007, 6:44 am

Heh... I look back and realised that for awhile I tried my damndest to fit in... and I think as a result I became even MORE awkward and paranoid. Of course, in learning about AS and Autism and the like... I feel like the symptoms I match the most have exploded in degree... or maybe thats just my being even more self conscious of them.


Hell I have the scab/skin/blemish picking compulsion I've heard about in a couple places.


Worse yet, now I notice that i've completely freaked out about it.


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Kaleido
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11 Apr 2007, 6:50 am

You are probably just more conscious of them.

I gotta run. Later.



SteveK
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11 Apr 2007, 7:52 am

RadiationHazard wrote:
Hell I have the scab/skin/blemish picking compulsion I've heard about in a couple places.


YEAH, how unusual IS this for NTs? I couldn't believe it when I saw this! I thought "You mean this is ANOTHER way I match AS?!?!? WOW!"

I KNOW it is a scab! I KNOW the best thing is to leave it alone. I just want smooth skin, and take the chance. With smaller scabs I succeed like 30% of the time. They other 70%, the cycle starts over to a degree!

Steve



9CatMom
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11 Apr 2007, 9:01 am

I think that, when I look over my childhood, I am convinced I have AS. The traits don't show themselves so much now that I'm an adult, because I'm a job that utilizes my strengths. I see my AS today mainly in my unusual interests. I am probably not as successful on a global level as typical people my age, but I'm working on it. I will not likely achieve the kind of success someone like Roger Bannister had, but he continues to be an inspiration for me to achieve my own goals.



RadiationHazard
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11 Apr 2007, 9:05 am

SteveK wrote:
RadiationHazard wrote:
Hell I have the scab/skin/blemish picking compulsion I've heard about in a couple places.


YEAH, how unusual IS this for NTs? I couldn't believe it when I saw this! I thought "You mean this is ANOTHER way I match AS?!?!? WOW!"

I KNOW it is a scab! I KNOW the best thing is to leave it alone. I just want smooth skin, and take the chance. With smaller scabs I succeed like 30% of the time. They other 70%, the cycle starts over to a degree!

Steve


Yea, the nose is flaking again... just caught myself scraping it off.


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coolstertothecore
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12 Apr 2007, 6:34 am

I've never met another person with AS so I guess I wouldn't know. I like coming here and reading about other people. It makes me feel less odd.

If I meet someone who seems odd I want to know all about them and see if they might have AS. Nobody ever has so far though.



RadiationHazard
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12 Apr 2007, 3:12 pm

I wonder... what about Bad Handwriting?


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Kaleido
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12 Apr 2007, 3:17 pm

My handwriting is very poor at times and I have to write very slowly to make it all legible.

Not sure if its a true Aspie trait though, many kinds of people can have bad handwriting.

Graphology is an interesting subject, wonder if it can pick up Autism?



mariiha
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12 Apr 2007, 3:38 pm

i have come to the conclusion this is my last post here...i am more autistic than AS.
but i am ever so thankful for this forum. it has been a beacon in the dark; i never knew there were other humans with similar feelings i could totally relate to. i am amazed by the generosity of WP posters...you guys are the most creative, original, intelligent and sensitive beings ever! thank you for sharing! thank you for caring!



Kaleido
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12 Apr 2007, 3:48 pm

mariiha wrote:
but i am ever so thankful for this forum. it has been a beacon in the dark; i never knew there were other humans with similar feelings i could totally relate to.


Me too.

Its helped me to sort out my Aspie bits and piece my life together and solve a few riddles about why some things didn't work out. I used to think I had been cursed but now I see my little traits have a lot to answer for.



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12 Apr 2007, 4:59 pm

SteveK wrote:
RadiationHazard wrote:
Hell I have the scab/skin/blemish picking compulsion I've heard about in a couple places.


YEAH, how unusual IS this for NTs? I couldn't believe it when I saw this! I thought "You mean this is ANOTHER way I match AS?!?!? WOW!"

I KNOW it is a scab! I KNOW the best thing is to leave it alone. I just want smooth skin, and take the chance. With smaller scabs I succeed like 30% of the time. They other 70%, the cycle starts over to a degree!

Steve


i've had a perma-patch of eczema on my left leg cause i keep picking at it... after about 2yrs... it's finally healing up cause i read about AS and have been trying to find a substitute behavior to replace... this stimming? is scab-picking considered stimming?

hard to do though cuse i wake up from sleep SCRATHCING at it :(


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Hazelwudi
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12 Apr 2007, 6:45 pm

I am a stranger in a strange land. I always have been and I always will be, no matter where I may roam.



Sedaka
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12 Apr 2007, 8:12 pm

Hazelwudi wrote:
I am a stranger in a strange land. I always have been and I always will be, no matter where I may roam.


good book...

and yep. in RL and online..............................................


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