Dad Likely Has Asperger's Syndrome

Post Reply New Topic

Although my dad has never been officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, he has many of the traits associated with it. I've discussed this with a therapist and family, and they agree. I am sure dad is on the autism spectrum. One thing dad always did was rock in a non-rocking chair and hum. I always wondered why he did this. He doesn't seem to get the family's sense of humor or jokes. He is very moody. He has a very quick temper, and isolates himself with his favorite interest, electronics. He is on the computer a lot. He talks at people. He does, and says socially inappropriate things. He criticizes a lot. Another thing is that he can hear these low noises no one else hears. He used to yell at us about that. Finally one day he realized that we were telling the truth when we said we could not hear what he was hearing. One day I brought over a toy for the cat which had a high pitched sound. We could all hear it except dad. Dad has always been extremely frugal except when it comes to his electronics. Dad used to pull me into his room for about 3 hrs at a time to do computer programming. I guess he assumed I would enjoy it. I hated it. I esp. hated that I wasn't asked about it.

I feel emotional abandonment still after all these years. I do not know how to handle stress well. I get stressed out very easily and cannot seem to control the negative thoughts that keep surfacing. Something will trigger an old wound, and it's hard to cope. I felt the need to join this forum to try and get a handle on my stress.

What are your thoughts on the info I provided? Can you relate?

I can relate.
My dad had classic autism. He never held a job so my mum had to go out to work. Consequently, I raised myself. He had many vocal tics but no conversation except every now and then he would launch into an entire word-for-word commentary of famous cricket matches as heard on ABC radio, in the English accent of the broadcaster. He had an astonishing memory. His special interests were cricket statistics, classical music, serial killers and maps. In my mother's words he was 'useless'. She would always call him, "Your (my) father." He was occasionally violent, especially if we made noise in the house. Luckily I was mute, so I didn't have much trouble flying under the radar. I remember him bashing my mother a few times. He was able to drive but he was as scary as heck. When I was 14 he got in the car and never came back. He took his own life in 2009.
I can relate to the emotional abandonment. He never spoke to me. If he wanted me for something he would grab me by the shirt or hair and literally drag me behind him. I had to work out for myself what he wanted, and if I got it wrong he would pace and curse violently. The rest of the time I didn't exist to him at all. I was quite terrified of him. I couldn't predict the next time he was going to grab me so I lived in constant fear.
I try not to think too much about the past these days, but focus on the present as much as I can.

Adversity makes you stronger, I went through many adversities as well which made me a lot stronger in many ways.