I Really F*cking HATE small Talk

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im basically posting this to vent.

so i have these friends who message me everyday, and im All for friends, dont get me wrong i love being included and having someone to talk to, but...theyre so f*****g BORING. like i mean REALLY BORING. its not theyre fault, i mean theyre Neurotypical but why do NT's have to be so damn Boring! all they want to talk about is how theyre day is going or what theyre doing at that moment! i guess i wouldn't mind so much if i knew what to say but i always get stuck. its such a dead conversation. why the hell would NT's even like small talk?

anyone agree with my rant?

I don't hate it so much as I don't know how to respond to it. They tell me how their day is going and I say, "okay," or just look at them. And sometimes they don't seem to want to hear what I have to say anyway. I get cut off or stared at when I respond (maybe because I'm long-winded or don't say the "normal" thing).

I'm an Aspie yet I'm a boring person... But I agree with your post. I don't even know why they bother spending their time on useless topics such as that or asking questions which the answers will be forgotten and then will ask the same question again in the future(repeat this pattern for eternity). I don't understand it very well. Perhaps it's just rude to not ask anything or say anything? It could be an unwritten social norms, but, well yeah I think I don't get along with it very well...

On a similar subject, have any of you been just sitting around minding your own business when a neighbor, acquaintance, co-worker, or even a complete stranger starts pouring out their troubles to you? This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I mean, people that I don't know that well, or at all, will start telling me their deepest, darkest secrets or crying out their problems to me. One guy on the subway started telling me how he got cancer from Agent Orange in Vietnam. In my last building, neighbors would drop by all the time to complain about their jobs or boyfriends.

I try to be sympathetic and comforting, in my awkward way, but I never have any idea what they really want or why I look like some sort of confessional. I must have a sympathetic face or something, or perhaps it's because I listen to them even if I'm not sure what to do for them.

Howdy! I love small talk, unless I'm anxious. Let me tell you how my day has been - let's see, I'm on Day 7 of having my new friend Mr. Chest Cold. He started with the usual sinus drainage down the back of my throat and by the weekend I felt like CRAP. Called into work sick both Sat and Sun. Mon I felt no better so I went to see a NP and got some codeine to stop my cough except she ordered it with mucinex (which is an expectorant). I have never understood that concept of a cough syrup that is supposed to quiet cough mixed with an expectorant so you will cough out some of the gunk. Whatever. Anyway, I ended up coughing tons more and my symptoms got worse. Called my brother and he had a bottle of codeine with a nausea med. That's what that NP should have ordered me! So he brought over the bottle and I was able to sleep for a day. Now, I will have to go back to work this weekend and my cough only is controlled just by the codeine (which I can't take at work), I ran 103 temp last night and I swear to you when I say that my cough sounds like whooping cough. Without the codeine and the overuse of Alka Seltzer and Nyquil, I'd be at deaths door. If this tells you anything - I have absolutely no bladder control left - that's how hard I've been coughing. And my Ma called me tonight saying that Kansas has an outbreak of ........(can you guess?) Whooping Cough!! I can look totally ok then the next second I'm coughing so much I can't get my breath. How would you like to be in the hospital and your nurse sounds sicker than you? HA! I'm going to make an appt at the doctors office tomorrow and see if an antibiotic might help. It said that whooping cough is a bacteria and needs an antibiotic to cure it. Anyway, that's the boat I'm in at the moment.

Are your eyes glazed over yet? Do I sound like I'm NT?

I hate small talk as well. Whenever a family member calls me, The talk could go on for HOURS. I think small talk is just plain boring. Tip: if a conversation is going on to long, twirl your hand like you are inhaling a aroma.

100% agree. Small talk is torture and, I think, quite pointless.

Although I might be biased because I'm terrible at it.

I used to hate small talk and think that it's pointless but now I dont; because you are able to influence the other person by small talk. Also it helps you to practice social skills for when you might need it.

I'm no good at small talk. When people around me get into it my mind drifts. I become the opposite of interested. At times I have tried to fake it just to try to get along with people, but in the end, I failed anyway because I'd say something way off topic which they despise or don't understand.

I can do small talk, but I don't like it. Whenever I have to small talk, I think, "Okay, when are we going to have a real conversation?" But then I kinda feel like a snob for even thinking that....

Sometimes you can be NT and attempt small talk with other NTs but since you're an odd person it falls flat. Here's an example from my best friend, who is a zookeeper.

She was small talking with some adults and children, while she had a talking bird on her shoulder. Let's call the bird "Frieda."

The kids said, "Frieda! That's the name of our school bus driver!"

My friend said, "Ha! Wouldn't it be funny if this bird drove your bus, and then your school bus driver was a little talking bird sitting on my shoulder??"

They looked disturbed and walked away. Being NT doesn't always make it easy.

Your friend exhibited too much imagination--not considered "small talk" by many conventional people.

Gossip is probably the main type of small talk that people engage in.

Birds driving buses does not quality as gossip.

I also hate small talk, but to NT's what is actually being said is irrelevant. The purpose of small talk is to show respect. If someone starts small talk with you it means they respect you and see you as worth their time and attention. It is polite to small talk back. This is a lot like going to japan and having a person bow to you. The proper response is to bow back. It is also the most basic level of social disclsure. The next being talking about politics or jokes or othe bassic gossip. This is for more well known people. The last is talking about feelings and problems. This is for people who know each other very well. Most friends glide in the first two from small talk to joking and talking about politics or things on that level. It's annoying, but it is how these strange people communicate.