Ashley Madison and the moral high ground

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Generally speaking, what marriage is is an agreement between two people, or a group of them to not have sex with anyone but each other. That's pretty much what it is. Otherwise, why be married? Business partnerships are business partnerships. You need never get intimate with a business partner. Instead, you are using their money, along with your own, to get ahead in life.

If two people want to be together and want to stay with each other sexually, then fine otherwise it's just bs and drama. It leads to self loathing and self pity. Two cardinal sins, or should be. Might as well stay single and live true or suffer the consequences which are usually impulses like those JD has, or depression and suicidal tendencies. Can even lead to one spouse murdering the other which has happened plenty of times.

Two people having sex and producing a child is merely propagating the species. It just so happens a woman carries the child and gives birth to it so the male might not feel as involved simply because of this biological fact. It's not the woman's fault the species evolved the way it did. Fact is, you don't need a marriage to produce a child, you just need two male and female humans of reproductive age having sex at the right time, when the woman's fallopian tube releases the egg, or you can do it through a medical procedure and impregnate that way. In other words, biology doesn't say, marriage first or no baby. That's not how nature made our species.

The only thing I am morally opposed to are the ones like JD who go out and live this lifestyle because their marriage partner is really hurt by it. You have to put the marriage partner first or go home. If you don't you are not really married, imo.

This might sound like fundie talk to you but the big difference between me and the fundies is I recognize the unmarried state as a worthy, legitimate way for some to exist, and I do not penalize people for going from partner to partner if they can live that way and not be depressed or create issues in their life. I also believe that asexual lifestyle is not in itself a symptom of illness but might be the only way some people can be happy in their lives. I also acknowledge a spiritual connection as being much more important than any book and fundies treat their Bibles as idols there to protect them from all evil. Spiritual connection is what they need and many don't have it.

People searching for the kind of "love" they read about in books or see on a screen won't find it because it's a thing of fiction.

Anyway, i hear that some people are considering a class action suit against the operators of Ashley Madison because it turns out that less than 1500 of the "women" on the site ever checked their messages.

And probably 1200 of those were just trying to funnel people to porn sites.

I'm 34, I accepted the fact that I will not find "love" over fifteen years ago, so none of that really has a bearing on me whatsoever.

Now, if I met someone in the same predicament as me and it was possible we could co-habitate a marriage would be feasible because of the economic benefits: shared rent, possible coverage overlaps in insurance, less social stigma, etc. For a person like myself, with a diminished capacity for emotion, those benefits are fairly enticing on a practical level.

There's no law that says you have to be in love to be married, or even that marriage has to be sexual in nature, so therefore if I find a person in the same boat with a compatible philosophy I don't see the harm in signing a marriage contract. If society is going to bestow benefits upon people based on a ridiculous certificate, why wouldn't I want the certificate?

Here in the states there's still an amount of stigma attached if you're single and live by yourself. You might as well be dead since you're not creating babies for the next generation of coerced labor.

I'm not sure how Australia is structured, but here in the states we have private medical insurance, you either have to buy insurance to see a doctor on your own or hope your employer provides it. Our insurance is pretty shoddy on top of that and in many cases if your spouse has insurance it will cover the gaps that one insurance plan alone might not cover. We're talking about possibly thousands of dollars in benefits each year should you need that secondary coverage, so marriage can become very important.

Furthermore, you could face discrimination in housing-- a lot of landlords would rather rent to a small family than a single male. And as I mentioned before, jobs-- I've been asked about my relationship status in a number of jobs, even though it's technically illegal, and one job flat out said they're looking for a family man, not a single person.

All this is way off topic...

Among the people who were revealed were homosexuals from Arab states, now at risk at being put to death.

If you want to be married then find the right one and get married. You might regret marrying someone just for convenience. Why would you do that when there's a chance you could find the love of your life and marry that person? If you marry the one who isn't and stumble over the one who is later, it will only be bad news so it's best to hold out for the one you really love because they might appear at some point and then you won't want to live without them. By then the one you thought you married only for convenience might have had enough time to become thoroughly attached and might love you even though you won't love back.