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Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,971

30 Aug 2015, 9:16 am

babybird wrote:
Thanks for your 2 cents worth Britte. Feel free to ramble all you want.

Yeah, I know what you are saying and at the time my life was out of control but looking back I can't help feeling that maybe I could have done better than to just take tax payers money without pushing myself to do better.

I feel as though I was just finding a good excuse to do nothing with my life.

There are people out there who genuinely need benefits and there are also people who deserve benefits and decline them.

That is what makes me feel bad really.


I would like to point out that I have felt that way without those feelings being accurate.

Even though I now know a great deal about why I struggle with things, I spent most of my childhood being told that I was lazy and 'if I only tried harder, I could do it'. And I had no words to tell myself any different, because I had no idea why I kept failing. Plus, when I focused 100% of my attention on accomplishing that one task, I could do it, so it seemed like they were right - I could do it if I tried harder. What I didn't realize is that what took 100% of my effort took only 10% for most people, and that exerting 100% constantly is just not possible for anyone.

Even now that I know better, I still find myself repeating those negative messages sometimes. When you are told something about yourself repeatedly as a child, it can be very hard to shake that belief, no matter how much you know better as an adult.

So take a look with your rational mind. Could you really function better? Or are you just echoing what people have told you when they didn't understand your disability?