Almost 30, single, and worried about never finding love

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I will add to my struggle: My older sister is 30, married w/a daughter and NT.......

I don't mean to sound harsh, sly, but it's obvious why you aren't making any progress: you're still stuck wallowing in your sadness, hoping that somehow the mood will pass and everything will magically get better for you. If you want your life to improve and you want a girlfriend, you have to make an effort. It's clear that you must have a girlfriend or you're miserable, and the chances are you're not going to get one like this. One key thing to a better chance of getting a girlfriend is being comfortable alone. You should be in a relationship because you love someone, not just for the sake of not being single anymore. Believe me sly, I really do wish things could magically improve for you, and while this is a nice sentiment, it's not realistic.

My cousin is in the exact same situation, his older sister is married with 2 kids and he's 29, soon 30 no girlfriend to marry.
I think it would be better to not concentrate on that, because it will probably only have averse effects on your mood. Is there anything good about thinking about this? If not better not think about it and instead use the free brain space to make your situation better.

I suppose the best thing you could do is be as attractive as possible.
The thing is if you are desperate or unconfident it will shine through sooner or later. Then the girl is unlikely to want to marry you, because confidence is a very important quality to the ladies.
So yeah, it would be best to start with doing something that you can build some self-worth on and become a little happy from that.
Do you have high confidence/self-worth equestriatola?

^ Eh, kind of..... sometimes I look down on myself when comparing myself to some other people.....

Hmm, in that case it would help to have some quality that makes you feel special. I don't mean something nobody else can do, but something YOU do and you do it well and you take great pride in it and you can show it to others. Something to base your self-esteem on.
And it doesn't matter what exactly you do, just someting you can take pride in and show to others, it would be good if they could easily appreciate it. But if you do it just so that they can appreciate it it won't build esteem. You need to be proud of it just for yourself. Can you follow me?

When you talk to girls naturally you will have much less to worry about. IMO assertiveness and all the belief in oneself really only works if you have achievements to back it up. The pickup stuff on the Internet shows what esteem can look like but people who use it will have problems later. Because the esteem is fake.

If you have something you are proud of you don't have to look down on yourself because maybe others have some qualities you don't have, but you have a quality they don't have. Then later you can leverage the genuine feeling of pride to be assertive with girls. Because you have something where the stupid saying "know your worth" is actually true, because you have something that you base your worth on.
Does that make sense to you equestriatola?

^ Yeah....

Hey equestriatola.

Just wanted to say that I'm in a similar boat as you...I'd be lying if I said I don't think/daydream about it. Anyways, try to stay hopeful and positive.

Hard to do when ever woman I see or meet expresses how men have to have good paying job.

So if to be a real man and be worth listening I got you have to have that then if your don't have it your worthless. So in face of that how am I supposed to to remain happy?

Mean you can be confident up the Fence but if she looks at you and is like oh you don't make more then min wage or you don't have w job then it won't matter. That's me ever date I went on said I was confidence so clearly I seem confident to people when out and about..

Remember that stuff posted here doesn't mean I or others walk around talking about it or posting it on Facebook or something

This is my inner self that no one besides people here and my close friends ever see.

So my confidence doesn't mean jack due to I don't have a job and as people here have said that means I'm unlovable due to why would some woman want to date a guy who makes less then her.

Like i dont know going to voc rehab, getting a job devoluper, applying to bunch of jobs, going on a diet to lose weight ? Stuff like that??

If I was comfortable alone I'd tell all women to f**k off but I'm a people person who desires female companionship if I didn't then I wouldn't want a gf as besides that they are not useful to me I can do all my hobbies with male friends but friends can't give me the companionship a gf can.

Yep I don't want a relationship for sake of saying I have one or I'd just gone with those women who I didn't care for or hurt me.

Just so sick of superficial women >.< so depressing and ever night I lay alone in bed is a constant reminder of how worthless and unloveable I am

For what it's worth, I know a number of guys who will never advance past minimum wage jobs and all of them have relationships. This made it even more difficult to understand my struggle being full time employed.

Go hang out at Wal-Mart for a while. If your Wal-Mart is anything like the one by my house, you will see all sorts of couples together where is doesn't look like either of then is highly successful economically or professionally. They still seemed to find each other, and be attracted to each other.

There is no trait a man has that "all women" find attractive or necessary. What each of us values in others is very individual. Sly, it sounds like you know what to do, you just need to make an effort to actually do it, and stop believing that it will have no effect. Not every woman values men only for their income or professional standing. If that were true, there would be plenty of alone men and women.

Thanks.

At 28, you can still retain hope, you never know what is around the corner.
I was in the same position as you.
Now that I am 57 next month, I have completely lost hope, even though women of my age are available, I do not find them at all attractive.
The lack of hope I was surprised to find utterly devastating, much worst than the loneliness and worry about being alone I had when younger.
Not sure I can stand this.

Mostly see pretty women with good looking guys at my Walmart besides the 50 olds with kids.

No i dont know finding a job has proven impossible , even voc rehab person doesn't think it'll happen.

Maybe you should look into moving Sly. Go somewhere new, at least get a new voc rehab person since your current person has obviously given up on you.

have you had a girlfriend before OP?