Loneliness

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Since I'm a fantasy writer, I'm constantly half in half out of many different worlds. If you'd like to chat, PegasusBaby [I love your username, by the way], feel free to pm me.

I feel weird about casually hugging my parents.
That's all I have to say right now.

I feel the same way. I have good parents and i love them a lot. But i have sort of an aversion to hugging them. They will sometimes give me hugs and i hug them back because their feelings would be hurt if i didn't. But i try to avoid it. I have no idea why i feel that way, but i do.

Some ppl can hug me and it is ok; others i have a hard time with. The cousins on my dad's side of the family always hug each other when we get together because we only see each other about once or twice a year. It feels very natural and i like to get hugs from them. And a few ppl on my hubby's side of the family who will just come up to me and hug me--a genuine hug because they like me and they are a touchy huggy person, not awkward and they take the initiative. I don't mind that. What i can't stand are the awkward hugs when the person is kind of like "do you want a hug?" What am i supposed to say, "oh heck no!" ??? that would hurt their feelings. Which is probably why i don't like to hug my parents because they are always tentative about it. If someone hugs me i will usually respond, i just have a lot of awkwardness initiating it. (Except if i have a bad history with the person, i can't stand to be touched by them at all, let alone hugged. Then if it is a hugging situation i avoid getting close to them; or if i can't avoid it, i will just stand there and hope they hurry up and get it over with. )

Feeling lonely right now. I wish I had someone to talk to IRL, but it's very late at night.
Hmm, I don't know what I would say anyway. I don't know who I could talk to other than my mom or dad, even by day.

What would you talk about if you felt lonely and had someone to keep you company?

You can talk to me if you want.
I would probably talk about things I like and metaphysical and spiritual and magical concepts.

I guess I'm isolating myself again, but I feel like I would be a burden to anyone.
You want to hear of things that I did in the forest in front of the house?

Sure, I love forests!

Well ok...

There's part of the forest that's protected for conservation, but as a teenager I went in there to explore. The tree/plant density in there was very high and some of the plants had sharp leaves and it was dark in some spots.
There were some young trees, a bit thicker than a bottle and I climbed on them high enough for them to bend, and traveled from tree to tree that way.

There are quite a few craters in the ground in the forest and some kind of natural pond.
There's something I call "the mushroom" which is just some little roof thing, but it reminds me of a mushroom.
And here's something I call "the abyss", but it's not very deep in some parts, maybe the height of the average person. But in some other spots it's like 5 meters deep.
I used to be there more often in the past and balance over it on some logs like on a bridge.

I like to find new paths in the forest and create a mental map. I actually did that last summer.

Wow! That sounds like such a neat and mysterious forest! Back when I lived in the country, my house was surrounded by forest on all sides except the front. Ah, nostalgia...

I don't feel lonely anymore. Thank you.

You're welcome! I seem to have an intuitive knack for cheering people up and helping them feel better!

This makes me think of two points. It's interesting than Kura that you apparantly 'self-depreciate'.

My question is, how well are you at cheering yourself up/making yourself feel better (because you say you're good at making others feel better a lot), and why would you self-depreciate to make that harder? Is the self-depreciation just a sub-concious thing?

And, that's something that has always interested me. The idea of a person who could have the brightest smile on their face and seem to be the happiest person who enjoys making others feel better, but is hiding it and is secretly miseable inside.

Or the person who gives to others because they know what it's like to have without. Etc. The idea the one's with the biggest heart and the biggest smile have had the hardest life.

ya comic book collecting has become a new hobby of mine, mainly the Bronze Age and Copper age are my favorite eras of comic collecting.

I'm not that great at cheering myself up, mainly because I'm often hard on myself. But I've recently realized that being hard on myself doesn't do a scrap of good for me, so I'm trying not to anymore.
I believe that's called a Stepford Smiler on the internet. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StepfordSmiler

^ It's all a lie?

? ^What is?