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The Grand Inquisitor
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23 Sep 2015, 9:59 pm

So, until recently, I attributed my social failings to physical unattractiveness, but I've recently come to the conclusion that, despite not being the best looking guy, it's more likely that my issues with people are mainly due to social awkwardness.

I believe I understand how to interact with people reasonably well, but I often feel there's just something off-putting about the way I look, my mannerisms, etc. I've developed beat and rhythmic skills as a percussionist and guitarist, and I developed a bit of hand-eye coordination by playing Australian handball as a kid (even though my movements whilst playing were still awkward), but none of this seems to help me move in a less stilted manner.

My facial expressions and movements also make me awkward too. I can't crack a smile without it looking extremely odd, and I certainly can't pull off a toothy grin as my front teeth are crooked and I look goofy. I feel sometimes that my lack of facial versatility contributes to my lack of approachability. I want to be able to interact the way normal people do so I don't have to feel so odd.

So what can I do to improve? I don't like not feeling likeable. The few friends I have seem to have stronger friendships than just with me, so they're often busy when I want to hang out, and there's not really much to do when we hang out anyway. I've never had a girlfriend, or even any close female friends in my 19 year existence, and I've been attending university since the start of the year, and I've made pretty much no friends. I also have only 9 matches on Tinder after being on there a month and swiping right 70% of the time.

I guess what I'm getting at is my social life is at a stand-still, and I was hoping I could get some advice.



Dr.Pepper
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23 Sep 2015, 10:47 pm

What kind of people are you trying to make friends with? Have you tried people in the arts, like people into art or theatre? They tend to be more open to and accepting of divergence and uniqueness and can even see differentness as a desirable quality



The Grand Inquisitor
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23 Sep 2015, 10:52 pm

I'm actually an arts person myself, so I'm surrounded by those sorts of people at uni. My main point though is I want to appear more normal and less off-putting