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Raleigh
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22 May 2017, 4:37 pm

Every time I go to the doctor:

He: Do you have any pain?
Me: No.
He: Have some painkillers.

WTF.

Also, further to the "people not understanding addiction" theme, people think I'm weak-willed or have no willpower.
If they knew how many times I wanted to [indulge in my addictions] but didn't.
How I keep trying to extend the time while the compulsion is screaming in my mind.
Imagine if someone wants you to do something you don't want to do and they scream at you for days ordering you to do it, wouldn't you crack and do the thing just to shut them up?
That's what addiction is like.


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Froya
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22 May 2017, 4:40 pm

^^If she loves you, and you don't love her in the same way and decide to let go, she will probably get hurt.
Sometimes it's impossible to not hurt people.



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22 May 2017, 4:49 pm

^^I don't know if addiction is experienced the same by everyone. Some years back I couldn't understand why anyone would be so stupid to drink a lot of alcohol, when we all know it leads to alcoholism at some point. Then I got in touch with the deep shame in me, and now I totally understand it. I understand why people do drugs, become prostitutes or criminals.

Why I drink sometimes is because the feelings inside me just feels unbearable. It's a combination of meaninglessness, anxiety, loneliness, emotional pain, restlessness, shame. It comes to a point where I just don't give a s**t anymore.



Raleigh
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22 May 2017, 5:01 pm

Well, that is my experience of addiction.
It's emotional pain and anxiety for me, coupled with being wound up tighter than a spring.
I need to drink to feel human.

I did a hypnosis meditation yesterday and had a very odd, floating experience.
I've had a number of odd experiences during meditation.
They freaked me out so much I didn't meditate for years.
But I was reading that these can be normal experiences, so I thought I would give it a try again.


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Froya
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22 May 2017, 5:12 pm

I've never heard of hypnosis meditation. How do you practice it?

I'm of to bed again. I want to try and get up to do some exercise tomorrow before I meet Anne. We are going fishing.



Kuraudo7777
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22 May 2017, 6:09 pm

I wonder...all these months...have I just wanted to please her and make her happy, so I go along with most things she says?
Alright, that's enough of that.

Here's a beautiful message:
http://www.arcturiantools.com/2015/08/archangel-uriel-substance-of-divine.html


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


racheypie666
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22 May 2017, 6:21 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Kuraudo7777 wrote:
^I try my best to do positive things always.


Always trying to do positive things is a fine goal, but that is only your view of what is positive, and it is myopic at that, because how can you know if a positive won't turn out to be a negative down the track, or vice versa?


This.
The Raleigh is a wise one.



Kuraudo7777
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22 May 2017, 6:24 pm

Raleigh: So...giving love and light to people could have a negative effect? :o That's what I mean by doing positive things.


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Raleigh
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22 May 2017, 6:28 pm

If you're giving "light and love" to someone but they're expecting romantic love from you, yes, that can have negative effects.


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Kuraudo7777
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22 May 2017, 6:32 pm

*fidgets awkwardly* *sigh* I did try to explain things to her. I don't think I did very well. I think I'll try again.

Would it help any to show what I wrote, or would that be an invasion of privacy, disrespectful, and a betrayal?


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


cathylynn
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23 May 2017, 10:44 am

Kuraudo7777 wrote:
*fidgets awkwardly* *sigh* I did try to explain things to her. I don't think I did very well. I think I'll try again.

Would it help any to show what I wrote, or would that be an invasion of privacy, disrespectful, and a betrayal?

if it's what YOU wrote, I think it's fine to share.



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23 May 2017, 11:11 am

Image
I found some baby toads! Probably only a few days out of being a tadpole! :heart: Arent they cute?


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Kuraudo7777
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23 May 2017, 12:03 pm

Reject the concept of 'enemies'. Know that we all originate from the same divine source.

That's what my spiritual 'quotation a day' calendar says for today.


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


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23 May 2017, 12:06 pm

Since I can't ask you as Laura, what did Space Skitty's answer about the fork even mean? :?


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Kuraudo7777
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23 May 2017, 12:20 pm

From a certain perspective, the fork is made of energy [neither love nor metal]. From another, it is both. [Likely a Zen perspective, since a famous koan goes like this: "What is the Buddha?" [keep in mind that 'Buddha' means 'awakened one'] Answer: "Five pounds of flax." [In other words, anything, even something as mundane as flax, can be the trigger for spiritual awakening. Also, according to Zen Buddhism, the Buddha energy [awakening energy] is in everything, including the Earth herself [similar to PanEqualism].


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


Kuraudo7777
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23 May 2017, 12:32 pm

"Duality is and always will be an illusion. There is only you and the love you give to yourself. In spirit you are united with all other souls, and the only purpose of separation is for you to rejoin that unity."

"The miracle of love is that you can feel imperfect and still be completely whole."

Remember: Spirit loves you for simply being here.

"When you are in union, no one can really leave you."

"As the Upanishads declare,, the life of the self, once reunited with the Self, rises to a blessed level:
Good and Evil both vanish,
delighting in Self, playing like a child with Self,
he does whatever is called for, whatever the result.

[from Depak Chopra's The Path to Love]

Oh, and Raleigh, I've discovered a neat radio programme online, a spiritual/religious programme with a lot of interesting episodes [it's called Tapestry, on the CBC website, if you're interested].


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"A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel...As long as I'm with you, as long as you're by my side, I won't give up even if I'm scared." Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII