WP Addicts Anonymous

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Oh no, what's going on.

^No, it's just a rather amusing observation I made, since my special someone is a Gemini, which is an Air sign, so my comment about the wind was really poking fun at how all over the place she is. She'll be back, as always.

Well...

I can't drive sober lulz

That is what I get for learning to drive high

Some collateral with some bribery had me on the road and I actually did decent according to the guy I was with but I slowed down to merge on the interstate

I know better, motion is just different for me, I don't know how to explain it, I deal better with motion stoned. Yeah I know everyone will probably think I am crazy and make fun of me but remember the 1/3 life example thing again. I learned pretty much everything high actually so it might seem strange but I just function better that way, I don't know why.

Being sober is like being altered to me

I know what a ex-coworker of mine meant now,

They said they got to the point that high was sober and sober was high

there's actually a name for that: state dependent learning

Let me guess, its not good

I can remember in college being high made everything fast, like I remember smoking in my old apartment with window open and the curtains moved faster then they should.

No everything moves faster then it should sober

And I can't walk a straight line which is just what I need with the police all up in my s**t.

I don't think its withdraw either, when I was off for a year, I had a hell of time functioning

1. Everything is bright like I am someone turned up the bloom on a video game.
2. Everything is really loud
3. Motion is screwy
4. I have tripped over my own two feet a lot
5. I am very shaky

< sigh >

I hope I haven't made myself dependent on illegal drug for life... of course considering I didn't function at all before... maybe I can learn to cope.

Last edited by dcj123 on 21 Jan 2017, 7:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

state dependent learning is not good or bad. it just is. if you're anxious while studying, you'll do better on the test if you're anxious then, too.

Okay...

Well I have a teacher and access to a car so the goal is reachable.

Its just another crack on my heart that makes it stronger in the end.

The thing that sucks is I can't do anything hardly,

Code makes no sense, I am too shaky to solder anything, this ebay thing is hard to understand, driving is hard, walking is hard.

I might end up being stuck here for a while if I have to relearn how to do everything again. Everything is hard, I am not saying I want to be high, though I kinda of do. Its just, I got my first job high, I went to work everyday high. The only thing I did sober is pass a class that wasn't even on a college level with a D. I don't know, I guess no one will relate but damn, I can't cook worth a damn, my memory is worse sober then high, I am just... depressed I think. I am having serious problems here with the most basic of task, I can't make sense of anything. I guess relearning everything is healthy in the end but Jesus, I can't do anything right. I can't count, I can't properly pay for the bus, I am pretty sure I wouldn't pass a sobriety test (I did three times high). I am just just

you are typing and making sense sober. that's a start.

I did that stoned too even if I had flawed logic but I was also in unhealthy relationships and was being beat, used, broke in, etc on a daily so I don't see an improvement to be honest.

But right, good start I guess but I learned to type before I was high. So read and type is really all I can do now as that was really all I could do before I starting getting high. Everything is beyond me, I can't count money at all, numbers are damn meaningless, I have to stare at them for a good 20 seconds before its processes and people are kind of staring at me but your right, good start. It took me a minute to figure out how to buy food today

I had balance issues on and off pot but they got better high, now I have balance issues again

Does all suffering come from desire?

I can't make sense of this but I am also not high

I am not going lie, I have had some suicidal thoughts today, I have felt like its not worth it, I have felt like giving up but I have to make my own path.