Struck down, back up.

Post Reply New Topic

They say that heartbreak can take years too get over, but i just asked the girl of my dreams out, got insulted, and turned down, turned around, shruged my sholders, and now i dont give a toss anymore. I wonder if i realy cant feel heartbreak...

sometimes, the pain comes after the shock. when my girlfriend left me (the decisoion took her over a week to take and she was very uncomfortable hurting me), i took her decision better than her in the beginning, told her not to worry, that its okay, that its nothing to regret, held her in my arms when she cried etcetera... the truck hit me a few days later.

or, being insulted and hurt by someone you held in high esteem can bring down your esteem of that person. if she didnt take you serious enough as a person to have to insult you instead of turning you down in a kind way, she may not have been so much of a dream person than you imagined. she crushing her own myth may make it easier to get over it, too. when i was alot younger, the first girl i felt attracted to didnt react to all my letters (i was so much too shy to talk to her in person) and just wordlessly gave me a return letter on the last day before the holidays in which she was like "who would want to be with someone like you anyway" and "all your letters are ashes, and thats what they are best at" etcetera... of course, i was hurt by the insults, but the girl was very much demystified to me, and appeared to be just a pretentious b***h.

those are the reactions i can imagine from my own experience. i wish you all the best.

You weren't in a long-term or even short-term relationship with her, you just asked her out and got turned down so I'd say it's a wonderful thing that you were able to accept that and move on without heartbreak. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. To feel heartbreak because someone didn't want to go out with you for a first date would make it all the harder to ask someone again- count yourself lucky on this one, that's my take on it.

Something else... you said she was the girl of your dreams... sometimes when we idealise someone we're seeing what we WANT to see instead of the person as s/he really is.

Some of the best relationships grow out of what begins as a common interest that grows into friendship, when you get to know someone and see them in light of their faults as well as attributes but like the whole person, faults and all. Then looks, height, weight, etc., don't mean a thing because there's an appeal that goes deeper.

The loss of one monkey doesn't stop the show.