Will I ever date an attractive woman?

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I know that it's normal for guys to fantasize about models and actresses, but I will tell you that being in high school there were some very attractive women, but they all had a boyfriend. So not all attractive women have to be models or famous people. I actually envied their boyfriends, whoever they were.

I'm really bummed that I don't foresee myself ever attracting a physically attractive woman. I think personality is very good, but without the physical attractiveness the relationship doesn't feel "complete".

And please don't tell me how short those relationships last. At one point, one of my physically attractive high school acquaintances was engaged to a man.

Please I'm desperate for any advice to improve my chances.

How attractive are you? Most people date people who are about as attractive as they are, which is a reasonable expectation. If you're average-looking and only want to date model-hot girls, you are pretty likely to be disappointed (not that it can't happen but simply that it probably won't, so expecting it to is a terrific way to make yourself feel like a failure).

Your best bet for dating model-hot girls is to be equally model-hot -- super-fit, stylish hair + clothes.

There's no magical wand that can make you desirable!

Can guys with girl-length hair be attractive? I decided to grow my hair out that long because I don't like my face with short hair. Yes I'm weird.

If your idea of attractive is the same as the stereotypical idea of "hot", but you don't fit that description yourself, you will find it tough, as stated previously. It can be faked to some degree by behaving as though you believe you are "hot", e.g. with confidence or a smattering of arrogance. I don't know much about all that though, as it's not my world. Observe "hot" guys, or guys with "hot" girlfriends, and see what you can do to be more like them.

The people who are single in this world are single because their standards are higher then what they can offer dating-wise.

For instance, let's just say you're a fat nerdy socially awkward guy who's passion is playing video games all day and you require that your future girlfriend be an attractive woman who's popular, yeah you're going to be single probably for the rest of your life. Why? Because you have nothing to offer to her that makes you stand out from the other guys.

You'll date an attractive women when you stop thinking of yourself as unattractive.

Are you considered physically attractive as well? Truth is, like attracts like.

I take it you live in the Anglosphere? If that's the case, then expect to date girls who are significantly less attractive than yourself. That's just how it is here. The only real solution is to find a girl abroad, somewhere that has a less dysfunctional dating market.

Want to know how to not get a girlfriend?

Sitting in your room all day wishing you had a girlfriend.


Me and my roommate are not going to be getting girlfriends anytime soon. Don't worry my roommate doesn't want a gf anyways so i'm sure this won't offend him but

Neither him or I will be getting a gf anytime soon because we both sit on our asses all day playing video games. Neither him or I put in much effort to get a girl. He doesn't drive either. If you're putting in no effort to get a girl, of course you're not going to get a pretty girl.


It's so easy to whine and complain about how no girl likes you. I'm definitely guilty of this. But you know what? None of this means s**t! You want to know how to get a gf? Actually going out there and better yourself. You use forum boards to get advice for dating, not for a place to go whine about how no girl wants you. You're right, no girl wants you because you're a f*****g loser! But this doesn't mean you can't change.


First off, for god's sake bro. If you don't have a license, get it. Lose the weight if you're fat, get a job if you don't have one, actually wear good clothes. Appearance matters and this is where many autistics fail. Most autistics arne't that attractive simply because they don't know s**t about clothes selection.

Second off, lower your standards a bit. You're not going to be dating preppy blonde chicks who have a social life when you're a fat socially awkward video gaming nerd. You're just not. This doesn't mean you have to suffer being single, it just means you have to go for women who are in your league. That's just the truth of it.

I know i'm never going to score with a blonde beauty queen. You should realize this too.



Thirdly, the fact you were born a male makes it harder. Dating is hard if you're a guy, dating is even harder if you're autistic guy. But it doesn't mean you're screwed. All you need is a little bit of ambition, a little bit of resilience, and a little bit of consistency and before you know it, you'll be fitting 6 girls into your minivan. Okay maybe except for the last part.

It requires looks, not acting.

On dating sites for example, normal is perceived as 'hot' , this can be showed by their state of full inbox.

The better looking the girl is, the pickier is and the less attainable, the opposite is true - this is a general rule. Every time a girl messages me on some dating site and gives me her phone number right away always turn out to be very obese.

Asians and Moroccans/Algerians/Tunisians are exception to this rule, I haven't seen such correlation from them (they are fast to give their phone nb and contact info away, and yet - they're good looking); I think it highly depends on whether you are generally perceived as hot or not, and it's very obvious this differs from culture to another. (Remember my tinder experiment?)

Physical attraction is just a part of the puzzle, and a small part at that.
Presentation is more important than looks: you can make a turd look tasty and a birthday cake like crap, if you know how to present it.

And then, of course, there is the way you act, the "vibe" you give off, those kind of things.

The attractive guys at school didn't get a girlfriend simply becouse they were good-looking (although it certainly helped), but more becouse of how they acted.

I think the biggest part of the problem here is being able to know and being able to estimate what a female on your level of physical attactiveness would exactly look like and how close it is to reality.

Well, there is one tiny possibility to achieve it, and it is not with NTs. Practically no hot NT girl will go for an ordinary guy, much less a neurodiverse guy. End of story. But hot neurodiverse girls (yes, they exist!) is another thing. If you are lucky, and they have not learnt all the rules of the NT world, and you can appeal to them in some unusual way, sure, it can happen. Still, you won't meet anybody if you don't try, and much less if you put down no effort in it.

Gratuitous and stereotypical NT women bashing.

You mean it is not true? Also, I wrote "practically no hot NT girl" and not "no hot NT girl".

Besides, it is not stereotypical since the definition of NT means they will follow the herd and act in culturally acceptable ways (one of them being that attractive people only date other attractive people). This will also be enforced by her many friends that she is sure to have as an hot NT girl. That's because she will have to explain to friends why she is dating this ordinary guy, and in the end it could (probably even will) hurt her reputation. Thus, she will refrain from doing that, and it is not exactly like she has to if she is very attractive herself because then she will have lots of men being interested.

That's also how the exceptions could exist. If a hot neurodiverse girl for instance is asexual, she will not exactly be thrilled about all the guys that are hunting her for sex. Such a girl might also think that all guys are as shallow as her "admirers", so might find somebody that puts down a lot of effort in her special. That's just a few examples.

The hottest girl in the room isn't necessarily who you think